Bright Life Project

Midlife wisdom is realising that “do something every day that scares you” is absolutely terrible advice when simply sneezing in the wrong trousers already carries consequences.

At this stage of life, I’m completing Level Fear on a daily basis. White pants. Trusting a fart. Getting up too quickly. Agreeing to plans that start after 8pm.

So I’m changing the motivational quote.

Do something every day that’s FUN.

Preferably involving a friend, a beach and a glass of wine, all within sprinting distance of a toilet.

Because yes, you may still pull a hamstring or have a tiny gastrointestinal incident, but at least there was joy involved.

That’s my midlife wisdom: stop adding challenges. Add fun. Packaged fun.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on some merch ideas! These are what I’ve been thinking about. The hubby returns hotline is a pretty good hit with people, which is why I chose that one. The other ideas are all around my brand and values. But if you’ve been to an event and seen other merch ideas or practical tools that were pretty cool, please share them with me too.

Why can perimenopause turn a perfectly normal 2:17am wake-up into INTERGALACTIC AIRSPACE? My highly sophisticated graph has some actual science behind it.

Sleep problems are incredibly common through the menopause transition. Research has estimated insomnia symptoms in around 38% of perimenopausal women, while the Australasian Menopause Society says some studies find more than half of postmenopausal women have disturbed sleep or a sleep disorder.

During perimenopause, oestrogen and progesterone fluctuate and change, and both are involved in systems that influence sleep. Changes in these hormones can affect our sleep patterns and circadian rhythm, making it harder to fall asleep, stay asleep and, crucially, get BACK to sleep once our eyes ping open at stupid o’clock. Hot flushes and night sweats can obviously wake us too, but some women experience sleep problems without them. Stress, mood, pain, ageing and sleep conditions such as restless legs or sleep apnoea can pile on as well. Then there’s the particularly delightful vicious circle: once you’re awake and start stressing about being awake, that arousal can make getting back to sleep even harder.

So if you’re exhausted all day and then inexplicably become the CEO of Thoughts Incorporated at 2:17am, you are most definitely not alone.

You start out thinking romance is candlelit dinners, deep conversations and knowing each other’s hopes and dreams. Give it 25 years. Eventually romance is knowing what they want from the takeaway without asking, recognising what mood they’re in by the way they close a cupboard, and being able to remotely monitor bowel activity through subtle changes in breathing.

Nobody puts this bit in the vows. “To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, until I can identify an incoming s**t over the phone.”

There’s a little something for the newlyweds to look forward to.

Marriage after 20+ years gives you a slightly different perspective on the traditional romantic proposal. “Yes, a thousand times yes!” sounds lovely, but women who’ve experienced long-term marriage may have a few follow-up questions. What’s the division of labour? How’s the mental load looking? Are we emotionally mature? Can you close a cupboard door? Can you locate basic household items without involving a woman?

I love marriage. I love romance. I just think before we commit to spending the rest of our lives together, there should be a small competency assessment. Nothing unreasonable. Basic adulting. Maybe references.

Women over 40 who know that happily ever after comes with admin.

(Thanks to Kruggarr for the inspiration)

Apparently my black jumper is distressing enough to require community intervention. Every time I wear it, the lint roller enforcement division arrives in the comments to let me know I could make myself slightly more presentable if I just tried harder. Unfortunately, shame has already been attempted on me and the trial was unsuccessful. So rather than changing the jumper, I’m trying exposure therapy on everyone else.

Today we begin with fluff. Baby steps.

perimenopause humour, menopause humour, midlife women, women over 40, midlife comedy, perimenopause comedy, menopause comedy, frozen shoulder, restless legs, women’s health humour, alcohol humour, ageing women, gen x women, female comedy, Bright Life Project

Why does this happen so often, when women talk about their safety and someone immediately feels compelled to redirect the conversation towards men.

Women learning to recognise red flags isn’t an attack on men. It’s part of understanding patterns of coercion, control, entitlement and boundary-testing before they escalate. And given the reality of intimate partner violence against women, that conversation matters.

If your first instinct when women discuss keeping themselves safe is “but women do bad things too”, it might be worth examining why women’s safety feels like an accusation against you.

The forest is burning. We’re not looking at your burnt finger.

People often ask me how I keep a straight face on some of my videos and usually I’ve practice it enough to not find it funny. In fact I will often post something and think this is just OK and then it’ll do really well, I’d just seen it too many times and am too close to the content.

Doing the last video was different because I found the props so funny that every time I looked at them I kept laughing. What ChatGPT came up with was hysterical, each profile is so funny even though it was never intended to be seen

Sometimes your best friend doesn’t need to hear how you feel about the date. She needs the facts. Because when we like someone, we’re remarkably talented at turning information into explanations.
“He’s just joking.”
“His ex is crazy.”
“He’s old-fashioned.”
“That’s just how men are.”
“He didn’t mean it like that.”

Meanwhile your best friend is sitting across from you thinking: CRISIS, how many red flags do I need to physically produce?
There’s actually something real underneath the ridiculousness. When we’re attracted to someone, hopeful about a relationship or simply used to giving people the benefit of the doubt, it can be much easier to explain behaviour away than see it for what it is. Sometimes the person outside the relationship can see the pattern before we can.
That doesn’t mean your friends get to choose who you date. It means good friends can be an excellent second set of eyes, especially when your own eyes are busy looking at his lovely smile.
Find yourself a friend who loves your softness, but won’t let di*****ds use it as a loophole.
Failing that, I have Eduardo’s number and an excellent pet rescue.