She Comes First
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I create spaces for real, unfiltered conversations about midlife and perimenopause- and everything that comes with that. Curious, empathetic, zero judgement.
The messy, the shame, the guilt, the realizations. The shifts most people don’t talk about.
09/23/2026
Tonight’s circle has flowers. 🌷
And thanks to Tara Jones we have the most beautiful collection of vintage vases to arrange them in.
She donated these for our women’s circle tonight and I am OBSESSED.
Local women supporting local women. This is the good s**t.
Go give Tara Jones some love.
09/22/2026
Maybe it’s the change in the air, but I’m actually kinda ready for this one.
Midlife has already changed so much about me. What I want, what I feel matters, what I have patience for… what I absolutely fu***ng don’t. Ha!
I’m starting to think maybe I don’t need to fight all of it- maybe I don’t need to worry so much? I keep trying to trust the process. Today I’ll try to go with the flow and see how that feels.
Some things are meant to change, right? Might as well see where it goes! Things may end up being better than we ever imagined.
Happy First Day of Fall. I loooove Cardigan weather.
09/20/2026
You don’t have to say everything.
But the s**t you keep swallowing?
The resentment, the loneliness, the confusion, the “it’s fine, I’ll be fine. I’ll figure it out. Don’t worry about me” bologna we keep spewing?
Yeah… That has weight- weight we can’t keep carrying.
If we keep trying to carry it, we’re going to really dislike who we become.
Say it. Just say it.
Can you think of things in this perimenopause/midlife stage that you just haven’t said, but know you need to? Sometimes I don’t even know what it is that I need to say- I don’t have the words- but I know I need to speak up. Do you get me in that? Any advice on finding those words?
You’re allowed to change your mind.
You got new information you never had before, you’ve gained different experiences, you see things through a new lens, you’re learning all about your self.
Midlife has a funny way of making you question your relationships, your priorities, your body, your s*x life, and what you ACTUALLY want…. And if you’re like me- it’s confusing AF.
Perimenopause might be part of it.
Getting older might be part of it.
Being fu***ng done with some things might be part of it too!
That’s kind of the point though, isn’t it?
Tell me something you’ve recently decided: “actually, f**k that”.
Today I’m anxious AF.
No idea why. Nothing happened. There’s no specific thing I can point to and go, “yep, that’s it!”
I just woke up uneasy, and it stayed that way. This is only ONE tiny piece of it. One!
Some days it’s anxiety. Some days I’m exhausted, irritated, overstimulated, questioning my body, my brain, my choices, my entire fu***ng life. And then I get annoyed with myself for not handling it all better.
THAT’S the part I’ve been working on- and it’s been quite tricky TBH.
Getting through this season, (whether it be perimenopause, or this wild midlife we knew nothing about) can’t be about handling everything perfectly, right? I’d REALLY like to stop adding being hard on MYSELF to the already ridiculous pile.
At least while I’m still learning how to carry and dissect all of this.
If today feels heavier than it should, I’m going to try and stop treating that like a personal failure. I’m going to meet myself where I am, take the next breath, and let that be enough for now.
If you’re carrying your own ridiculous pile today, don’t just scroll past this and pretend you’re fine. Take one minute to pause, breathe, and give yourself the grace you keep waiting to earn. Then tell me in the comments: what are you choosing not to add to the pile today?
09/16/2026
Turns out avoiding s**t doesn’t make it easier, it just lets it marinate into tomorrow’s problem… and then it gets heavier and heavier and heavier…
Good strategy, huh? Until it’s not.
I assume avoidance is just fear. It still sucks. I get it. Facing the thing can feel waaay more weighted than pretending it isn’t there.
So, what’s one thing you’ve been dodging that might feel a little lighter if you finally faced it? I feel like this midlife/perimenopause f**kery is gonna push me over the edge if I don’t start actually talking about some of these hard things.
Avoidance will only make it harder. REFLECT ON THAT AMBER!!!
Are you also the master of avoidance? Ignoring hard things until they’re fully slapping you in the face?
09/15/2026
Only a few tickets left for next week’s Women’s Circle! I’m really excited to see you.
It’s real, honest conversation about relationships, s*x, hormones, motherhood, friendship, bodies, careers, aging, identity, confidence, anger. The things we’re navigating right now and the things we’ve already moved through.
Copy paste this link⬇️
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/1999179767501?aff=oddtdtcreator
09/13/2026
I am always the one who is hyping up random women in bathrooms. I love listening to experiences.
Your hair? Amazing.
Your outfit? F**k yes.
Your husband said WHAT?
You’re debating all decisions, ever? It’s the worst, right?? Five minutes later, we’re talking relationships, perimenopause, s*x, kids and money.
My friends already know, if we’re out and they can’t find me, check the bathroom.
She Comes First kinda started from that same energy.
WOMEN talking to WOMEN. Just saying the stuff we don’t always say out loud,
Which may explain why a surprising number of women who end up sitting down with me… first met me in a bathroom.
Apparently She Comes First has a very unofficial second office. It has three stalls, a hand dryer, and clouds of v**e smoke. The BEST place to remind her exactly who she is.
09/12/2026
Libido isn’t an on/off switch and treating it like one is why so many people ask, “What the f**k is wrong with me??!!?!”
You might still want s*x, you just may not feel spontaneously h***y anymore. The biopsychosocial model of s*xual desire looks at the whole picture. That’s common! We need to learn about this s**t so we can stop being so hard on ourselves.
Body: hormones, sleep, pain, medications, health.
Brain: stress, mood, body image, and how desire works for you.
Relationships and context: connection, safety, privacy, workload, and whether s*x feels good.
This isn’t anti-HRT or anti-testosterone (I do REALLY want to try it). It’s also not “it’s all in your head.”
It’s asking a better question:
What might be getting IN THE WAY of desire?
We gotta start looking at the whole picture before blaming ourselves. Libido isn’t just one problem with one fix- of course it would be like that for us. Of course, right? Why would it be simple?
Save this for the info… and send it to a friend who can’t figure out why she doesn’t wanna get it on.
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