U Parallel

The problems with problems in relationships is that we all have them. However, the real problem isn’t that there is a problem (still following?)…the real problem is how we relate to the content of the “problem” i.e., how our mind evaluates, fears, judges, fuses, or reacts to it. The “problem” is only the content, and how we interact with the content is the real problem. Reacting usually involves the “I have to solve, resolve or fix this”…. An imposed verbal rule, that’s just really unhelpful.

What if you didn’t give up your mental energy to solving the problem. What might that be like?

How do you handle tough thoughts & emotions that show up for you to do with your relationship?

Do you…

Dispute them “oh I don’t know…they’re not true, I’m just crazy, it’s just me being an idiot, foolish…how can this be happening, why am I thinking like this, just shut the f**k up, go away. If this isn’t true then why is it I keep thinking like this”

Challenge them “how can I be a ghost if I’m alive. Obviously I’m not a seashell I’m a human, stupid!”

Or

Change them “right, think positive. I’m worthy. I’m full. I’m enough. I am alive. Think happy thoughts…look on the bright side, could be worse”

Know this: Us humans try to dispute, challenge & change a lot of our private internal experiences. It’s exhausting!!BUT…It’s very normal to do so. Who wouldn’t want to not feel this way. The reality though, when we try to push down what’s there, without allowing proper processing and time, we prolong our suffering and we miss out on what golden information it has to share with us.

Being fully with our experiences & still choosing to do what matters to us in life or in our relationships isn’t easy. We suffer because we care, why else would we suffer?! If what we go through didn’t matter then I there would be no suffering. We wouldn’t waste energy on it.

We hurt where we care the most! Be with your suffering, allow it & still do what matters to you anyway.