Story Lab

The journey from "borrowed pen" to "personal property" is surprisingly short. 😭😂

You borrow a pen today.

Tomorrow you're still using it.

Next week you're carrying it around proudly.

After one month, you've forgotten where it came from. 😂

The pen has become family.

It has suffered with you.

Written tests with you.

Attended classes with you.

You and the pen have history. 😭💀

Then one day the owner sees it.

And says:

"That's my pen."

😭😂

Excuse me?

YOUR pen?

Since when?

At that point, even the pen is confused. 😭💀

Please tell me I wasn't the only one adopting people's pens. 😂👇🏽

Have you ever prepared for an argument so well that you were sure you would win? 😭😂

You rehearsed everything.

You had points.

You had evidence.

You even practiced in front of the mirror. 😂

In your head, the argument was beautiful.

You defeated the person seventeen different times.

You even imagined people clapping for you. 😭💀

Then the person finally confronted you.

And asked:

"So what exactly is your problem?"

😭😂

Suddenly everything disappeared.

All the points.

All the evidence.

All the confidence.

Gone.

The only thing that remained was:

"Nothing."

😭💀😂

Please tell me I'm not the only one that becomes a lawyer in private and a witness in public. 😂👇🏽

Life can be very funny. 😭😂

There was a time a missed period could almost stop your heartbeat.

One day late?

Panic. 😭

Two days late?

Prayer and fasting. 😭💀

Three days late?

Suddenly you're making promises to Allah that nobody asked for. 😂

"Ya Allah, if this thing shows up, I will change."

😭😂

Then the period finally arrives.

And you celebrate like your football team just won a trophy. 😂

Fast forward a few years.

You're married now.

And somehow the same missed period has changed teams. 😭😂

Now every month you're checking the calendar.

Counting dates.

Calculating.

Hoping.

Praying.

And when the period finally shows up...

Instead of celebration, you're sitting there like:

"Again?" 😭💔

The same thing that used to bring peace now brings disappointment.

The same thing that used to make you celebrate now makes you sigh. 😂

Honestly, life has a funny way of changing our perspective.

Please tell me I'm not the only one that thinks adulthood came with unexpected plot twists. 😭👇🏽

Shout out to my newest followers! Excited to have you onboard! Jeanette Doris Korvah, Arc Awolude, Suleiman Abdullahi, Sibongile Chaipa, Victoria Etim, John Berry, Yabagi Nana Hauwa, Ohwojeheri Arho Omasibro, Kulio Mohamed Jalloh, Josphine Anyango, Cindy Sunshine Maxwell Abuto, Karabo Raboijane, Aquilla W Love, Georgia Saah, Oluwafemi Oladapo Adenuga, Precious Ezinne Ukaonu, Abosede Bukola Ajayi, Adedoyin Adeyeye, Baraka Olasurubomi, Conny Consuela, November Bea, Peter Maxwell, Annah Mpho Motsumi, Gail Landers, Sarah Ntombi, Dorothy Desayou, Tyhileka Lumbo, Connie Motshabi, Ugonawnyi Ugonawnyi, Grace Kaisara, Shababatu Muhammed, Unity Bekoe, Rena McCrary, Olawumi Mutiyat, Miatta T. Massaquoi, Gloria Ifeyinwa Ni, Mhiz Hardunny Pearl, Milorenne Theagene, Turay Isatu, Sibonisile Sibiya, Nthabiseng C Manta, Cynthia Frimpomaa Garti, Adebanjo Most, Idah Didah Ngoma, Joy Onuchukwu, Oluwatosin Damilola Mix Jegede, Thandi Mabaso, Obi Victoria, Kelvin Junior KE, Olawuyi Felicia

There is a special kind of temptation that lives inside food that somebody specifically told you not to touch. 😭😂

You weren't even hungry before.

You were doing fine.

Everything was normal.

Then somebody said:

"Don't touch that meat."

😭💀

Suddenly that meat became the most attractive thing in the house.

You start looking at it.

Thinking about it.

Calculating.

Negotiating with yourself. 😂

"Let me just take one."

You take one.

Nothing happens.

Ten minutes later...

You take another one.

Still nothing happens.

Before you know it, the meat has reduced from "family size" to "evidence missing." 😭😂

The worst part?

When the owner comes back and starts counting.

That's when you realize your future is no longer in your hands. 😭💀

Please tell me I wasn't the only child that used to conduct meat reduction exercise. 😂👇🏽

THE DAY MY CRIME FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITH ME 😭😂

At that point, I was standing in front of the filling station looking like somebody whose future had ended. 😭😂

No kerosene.

Missing money.

No explanation.

No miracle.

Nothing.

I started calculating all the possible lies.

None of them made sense. 😭💀

Should I say armed robbers collected the money?

Should I say the money fell?

Should I say the wind carried it?

Even I wouldn't believe myself. 😂

That long walk back home felt longer than my entire school career.

Every step came with fresh fear.

Because for the first time in my life...

The crime scene had closed before I could cover my tracks. 😭😂

Till today, whenever I remember it, I laugh.

Please tell me I wasn't the only child that used to "adjust" errand money. 😭👇🏽

When we were kids, we used to torment our neighborhood 😭💀

And one of our favorite hobbies was knocking on people's doors and running away 😭😂

Please don't ask me why.

Even us, we didn't know why 😭💔

We would just see a gate...

Knock loudly...

And run for our lives 😭🔥

The funniest part?

I was the smallest among them.

The Lastborn of the operation 😭💀

One day, as usual, we decided to go on our neighborhood tour of wickedness 😭😂

We picked one particular house.

Knocked confidently.

And prepared to run.

Unknown to us...

The owner of the house had already seen us through the window 😭💔

This man was waiting behind the door like a hunter waiting for antelope 💀

Immediately we knocked...

GBAM!

The door opened 😭🔥

Everybody escaped.

EVERYBODY 😭

Except me 😭💔

The smallest person in the group.

The weakest runner.

The innocent-looking criminal 😭😂

This man grabbed me before my village people could activate speed 😭💀

Ahhhhh!

The kind of lecture and beating I received that day ehn...

My ancestors attended the meeting 😭🔥

As I was crying, I was also wondering why my friends suddenly became Olympic athletes 😭😂

Nobody waited for me.

Nobody came back for me.

Friendship ended immediately 😭💔

From that day, I retired from door-knocking ministry 😭💀

Some lessons in life are learned practically 😂

Abeg, what childhood trouble nearly ended your career as a child? 😭👇🏽

THE DAY MY CRIME FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITH ME 😭😂

So on this particular day, I was sent to buy kerosene.

As usual, I had already removed part of the money before even reaching the filling station. 😭💀

The spending had already happened.

The evidence had already disappeared into my stomach. 😂

I was walking confidently.

Smiling.

Planning my innocent face for when I returned home.

Then I got to the filling station.

And the attendant said:

"There is no kerosene."

😭😭😭😭😭

Excuse me?

What do you mean there is no kerosene?

Please check again.

Check under the ground.

Check behind the building.

Check anywhere. 😭😂

Because suddenly I remembered that the money in my hand was no longer complete.

And if I returned home now...

The mathematics would expose me. 😭💀

Part 3? 👀