Kitchen Table Money

Sarah decided she wanted to buy a parrot. So, she went to a pet store in town.
The shop owner showed her the different parrots and told her the prices. One parrot was $500. Another was $800. But in the corner, there was another parrot priced at only $25.
"Why is this one so cheap?" Sarah asked.
"Well, ma'am," the owner said, "we got that one from a brothel. That's why he's cheap."
Sarah figured it was too good a deal to pass up, so she bought the parrot and took him home.
As soon as Sarah walked in the front door with the cage, the parrot screeched, "Holy sh*t, a new wh******se!"
Sarah was shocked. A little later, her two daughters, Emily and Jessica, came home from their jobs. As they walked in, the parrot yelled, "Holy sh*t, two new girls!"
The family was horrified. As it got dark, Sarah's husband, Mike, got home from work. The moment he stepped inside, the parrot yelled out:
"Holy sh*t, Mike! Haven't seen you in weeks, you old son of a b*tch!"