Jesse Elder

Pain is an inevitable experience.

Suffering is quite often, a choice.

EXAMPLE

When I was in my early 20’s, at the end of an exciting fight season (9-2), I had a no-rules match with a much larger, stronger opponent that ended with me taking an emergency trip to the hospital.

Right after the 15 minute match was over, I felt like a truck was parked on my chest.

Breathing was extremely difficult, like I was sucking air through a coffee stirrer.

X-rays at the emergency room revealed my left lung was collapsed.

It was an interesting night.

Looking back at that experience and the days that followed, I don’t remember the pain.

Just the insights.

Because that night, I got a message.

Struggling to breathe, feeling the anxiety of my family and friends waiting in the lobby of the ER, I felt a voice.

“You have a body... but you are NOT your body.”

Weird, right?

But it made sense.

I’d been grappling with a lot more than opponents on the mat.

I had been painfully questioning my existence, whether or not I had a purpose, and if there even WAS a purpose for me being alive.

Depression came and went for weeks on end.

So that night, laying in the hospital bed, staring up at the harsh bright lights, it seemed as though some sort of veil had lifted.

That experience acted as a sort of portal.

To a greater understanding, and a deep peacefulness that has stayed with me since.

I would never have asked for that injury.

But I decided to make the most of it, and it seems that choice made all the difference.

I don’t know what pain you’ve been through.

Or maybe you’re going through it right now.

Probably worse than what I went through.

You just have to focus on this.

Pain is a teacher.

But you must be a willing student.

And when you decide to get the most valuable lessons possible out of whatever pain you’ve experienced, the suffering (mostly) goes away.

That’s what’s so marvelous about the human mind.

You can literally make up any meaning you want.

Just have to remember you have that power.

With as much transrational support and guidance as you can allow in.

========================

Originally published February 2023.

Reposting for a few people
who need to hear it.

When’s the last time
someone you respect
disagreed with you?

Dark Night Of The Soul?

Maybe

Last few weeks have been invested
going deeper into stillness and silence

Choosing to navigate an austere chapter, being slightly fasted and heavily meditated

Studio life, hot and quiet

Sleeping on a couch
or sometimes on the floor

Just “being with” things

confronting big ideas
asking old questions in new ways

90 degrees inside

The heat was perfect
reminded me of growing up
with no A/C and just how little
is really needed.

And how the most important things

Aren’t things at all.

Spent close to most of
three weeks this way

This morning, wrote something
to mark the end of that chapter.

Sharing in case this resonates
with someone here.

=============================

An Ode To The Dark Heat Of Knowing

Turned the corner

rounded the bend

past the ruptured disruptions

of a mind

on the mend

went to the depths
brought light into the dark

emergent returning
of the unquenchable spark

deathless and timeless
all false was displayed

in stillness and darkness
just existing undismayed

Enduring the vacuum
of identities unraveled

nothing left but to smile
at the paths left untraveled

shedding every bit
of what’s no longer
needed

through exposure

disclosure

brought light
to old wounds
left untreated

In stillness
and silence

through the
darkness
and heat

a signal revealed
as purpose and path
came to meet

in hindsight the situation
should’ve seemed
tougher to handle

but I see now

that in the
shine of the sun

there is no light
from the candle

so it was during
the days and nights
in that void

That some
old muting armor

walls within

were so
gently
intently
relentlessly
destroyed

more than a trust fall

like being pushed off a cliff

into a canyon where
wings always there

would unfurl and give lift

soaring now
on glowing thermals

bright and fresh and free

wings wide open
nothing left unspoken

with mind and eyes to see.

Slow is smooth
smooth is fast

but the speed of stillness
is beyond compare.

The game is won
in both blackest night
and brightest day

all that’s left

is living prayer.

Nothing repels success like neediness.

Everyone has needs, of course.

But we’re talking NEEDY here.

When I opened my first martial arts school there’s nothing I needed (and wanted) more than new students.

When the phone did ring,

I’d fight the urge to say

“What are you doing right now,
want to come in today?”

Instead I’d force myself to slow down

Listen to what they were interested in accomplishing

(then say “That’s great, a lot of our students got started for the same reason”)

And then say that I look forward to meeting them and introducing them to martial arts

But there’s a problem

Because it’s summer

or autumn

or winter

or spring

or because our school
was just featured in the the news

or because the karate kid movie just came out

or

or

The soonest we can get you in is
3 weeks from now.

would (date and time)
work for you?

Yes, thank you they’d say

I made sure book their first class before or after a beginners class - which was only held a few times a week to ensure full (or at least more full) capacity.

So they’re getting tons of social proof.

Eventually we made it more convenient but this approach in the early days made all the difference.

Everyone wants what’s HARD to get.

(Especially buyers with high self esteem
and resources to allocate towards getting what they want)

Very few want what’s EASY to get.

(Usually those who want validation for their worthiness or affirmation of their struggles)

Example

I’m on a waitlist right now for my highest level 1:1 work, with new potential allies scheduled out as far as January.

Alternatively

As a test, I’ve recently offered
some 20-30 dollar trainings

Guess which one has more demand?

The low perceived value trainings have less than ten folks - who will get treated as if they’d invested 100 X what they did, as if they were in the biggest and best event ever.

Meanwhile

The highest value, most exclusive offerings are going to have to be fought over by those who understand what’s at stake.

Use this information how you will.

It’s true at every intersection
of human experience.

An observation on leadership

The greater your sincere
curiosity about others

(Placing your confidence and authority
on the back burner for a moment)

The higher the status will be
of those who seek your guidance.

The less you are sincerely
curious about others

(Leading with high confidence
and assuming in advance that
you know what is best for them)

The needier those who seek
your guidance will be.

Notes from the Field 🖊️ 👀

Pretending
Not To Know
Will Kill You.

You know what to do.

You always do.

Right now,
You know what's
the best next thing
to do

(or to stop doing)

So why do you pretend

NOT to know?

Practice, probably.

Surrounded by hesitators
and procrastinators

It's easy to settle into
the tired refrain of
w a i t i n g

Waiting for someone
for a signal
for a sign

Waiting for perfection

as if such a thing were real

PERFECTION?

please

The very word
implies a state of endedness.

A stage of completion.

Perfection.

No such thing, baby.

Only your ideals
which you constantly
attempt to measure
yourself up against

How's that going?

Comparing yourself
to the manipulated imagery
and fake ass front stages

Of the glossed over
insecurities that "they"
hope you won't see

What about real?

When's the last time you
opened your mouth to cry

so hard your body shook
like a ship in a storm

Or

On a starry night
tilted your head back

and laughed at the stars
taunting you to reach them

again

Just feel

Open yourself
if you dare

Stop pretending
not to know it's there

All of it

The pain
The guilt
The blame

You don't go through
life without picking up
some of that stuff

But no amount of
well meaning mea culpas

Will ever destroy the fact
that you are an unquenchable
flame

Dim if you must

Fitting in to survive
is sometimes
a useful skill

But make it a temporary
camouflage… okay?

Because you're not
here to hide or abide

by the rules
someone
else made up
for their
benefit

You are a creator
and a good one at that

So stop pretending
not to know.

And just go ahead
and love yourself
because it's the only

way you can
love anyone
else.

============================

Reposted every so often
for anyone who started to forget.

Right now there are
a lot of scared people

Right now there are
a lot of focused people

Right now there are
a lot of distracted people

Right now there are
a lot of happy people

Right now there are
a lot of grateful people

Right now there are
a lot of angry people

Right now there are
a lot of helpful people

Right now there are
a lot of uncertain people

Right now there are
a lot of poor people

Right now there are
a lot of wealthy people

Right now there are
a lot of frozen people

And… Right now there are
a lot of people taking action

Every one of them

Every one of us

Is a radio

All of those states mentioned above?

Each state is a station
that is absolutely available
to everyone all the time

Focus is a big key - for this is your Will, hardened against distractions and honed in like a holy laser on what you want

Faith is another key - this is your softened ability to receive and know in your heart that all is truly well. Always.

Most have learned to rely on
appearances and the world
around them

For the states of
safety and comfort,
security and peace.

Yet when those states
are generated within

Regardless of appearances

You many find yourself
living as if you are within
the Eye of a Hurricane

All round you may be chaos
Uncertain appearances
Change and destabilization

But always within

The gentle force of
focused faith

Reminding you that
you signed up for this

For the sheer joy of learning
how to create and partner with
The Creator

Withdraw attention
from what you don’t want

Pour your attention
into what you do

Focus and faith

Throw and catch

Plant and harvest

To bring about a world
surrounding you

That matches with
unimaginable precision

The exact world
you’ve been building within.

Special Training Monday
6pm to 7:30pm
(Recording included)

Ever get the “blah’s”?

Even the coolest people sometimes
find themselves in a slump.

Life is good - for the most part.

There’s nothing specifically wrong
that we can put our finger on…

but still it often seems
that something is off.

A restlessness.

Feeling unsettled, even though
things are stable.

It’s like the “spark” is missing.

The signal is fuzzy.

Where did the fun of life go?

Going through the motions,
not terribly unhappy - but not exactly
high on life, either.

Making progress, sure.

Just slightly haunted by the knowing that things could be better - maybe a lot better.

If you’ve been in this place lately,
you’re not alone.

I’ve been talking to a lot of people
recently who are feeling this way.

Have been “in it” myself.

Luckily, there are a few simple things you can do to get unstuck, move some energy, and reconnect to the fires and freedom that are always available inside you.

In this training, I’ll share examples of how you can use 5 simple daily tools that REALLY help to get things moving, bringing you back into alignment with who you really are, putting an extra bounce in your step and a shine in your eyes.

Life is not meant to be a struggle.

Life is supposed to be fun.

And if that sounds about right to you,
you’re really going like this training.

The link is waiting for you to join

just check the comments

and grab yourself a spot.

I look forward to seeing you there.

Out for a stroll between writing sessions

Walking by the old digs,
W Hotel downtown Austin

A voice rings out

“Jesse!!”

I stop and look up at the
balcony across the street

Guy standing there says

“Dude, I watch your videos!”

“You’re the goat!”

Thanks man, appreciate that.

What’s your name?

He tells me

Well, it’s nice to meet you.

“Yeah man! I’m on mushrooms
right now and then you walked by!”

Ha, nice dude.

What’s one message
you want to share right now?

“Man, it’s just all love. It’s allll love.”

I agree, great message.

Have a wonderful time, okay?
Thanks for saying hi.

“You too man! All the love.”

Yes.

All the love.

Journal Entry
9:38am
Austin, TX

(This was a deep one, and FB is probably not the right place for it. But I don’t make the rules of what I’m supposed to post, just follow them the best I can)

==============================

Life.

Your Life.

It is all a beautiful game.

A game that can never be lost for winning is the baseline.

And although you will eventually experience a withdrawal of your awareness from its current physical vantage point

there is no time limit to the game of your Life.

At the center of existence - your existence, and the existence for every other being, indeed at the center of every particle that our forms are comprised of - there is a pulsing signal of wellbeing so powerful that human intelligence is unable to comprehend it anywhere close to fully.

Naming this wellbeing (and creating myths about it) is something humans are very good at.

Some humans have distorted the story of this wellbeing in their beliefs and legends, through parable and philosophy, so that they have come to believe (and influence others to believe) that this infinite and timeless well being shares their human qualities of emotionally conditional approval or disapproval.

But there is none of that in this wellbeing, outside human belief.

This wellbeing is responsible for the cohesion of atoms and molecules, and the organization of matter.

Move a few “layers” up to the level of human awareness, and there is a built in amnesia that causes us to forget this coherence and cohesion, but it cannot not be, for if this energy of wellbeing ceased to operate, all matter and energy would collapse into chaos.

This is clearly not the case at the base layers of reality.

It may appear to be the case at higher levels of awareness at the 3D perspective.

Seemingly unrelated events and circumstances, effects without consciously linked causes, give rise to the illusion that things are happening to us.

Yet infused between and throughout the base layer of reality, and the conscious awareness of apparently random events, is the interaction between the Will and the Wellbeing.

The Will - your human focused attention - can pe*****te into consensus, collective reality, and if focused strong enough and long enough, causes aberrant ripples in the field of 3D.

Defiant outlying events that break the pattern of the consensus based collective.

The woman who experiences spontaneous healing from a terminal condition.

The grandmother who lifts a heavy object to free her grandchild.

The man whose windfall arrives just in time before the bank forecloses.

The sudden occurrence of an idea that goes on to improve many lives, attracting fortune to the one who acted in faithful creation to bring the idea to life.

The appearance of the joy within simply being, in a welcome lightness of body and heart and mind, after a time of heaviness and darkness.

These defiant outlying events seem unexplainable by logic, yet become easily observable with an understanding of Will.

Yet this projection of will alone is not the whole story.

For the wish of fundamental wellbeing (which goes by many names) is to create harmony and positive expansion.

It does not however have a preference at the human level, for it is without human judgement and will not interfere with the individual creations of their own reality.

It sees wins and losses, w**e and water, wars and wormholes, births and bees and atomic bombs, as all part of the dance within the human creation experience.

From its perspective, everything is in harmony as collaborative actions and reactions, all in perfect harmony with one another.

The bully and the victim?

Perfectly aligned.

The oppressor and the oppressed?

Wonderfully matched.

The complainer, and that which keeps showing up for them to complain about, therefore fulfilling their wish to complain and be in integrity within their chosen identity.

Absolute harmony.

The lover of life who chooses to appreciate even the smallest of blessings, and therefore has more to bless.

See how this works?

So the wish of wellbeing itself is always being fulfilled, for there is nothing in this reality that is not in harmony.

Wellbeing does however, give notice when one is aligning (or misaligning) with the basest of reality layers (which once again, is wellbeing itself).

For the individual, this wish is matched in the body by feeling very good.

The choice of the individual to resist the wish brings feeling bad.

So in addition to the projection of will towards what is desired, it is also the acceptance, the receiving, the invited expectancy of the causeless, unconditional wish of Wellbeing itself to create good feeling events and circumstances, that forms a personal reality akin to a heaven on earth.

What a partnership, indeed.

Hold the frequency and feelings, the thoughts and ideas and stories, that feel good while holding them.

Do this not to “get” what you want, or to “make” things you want happen.

For all that you want is already here, since the thoughts and feelings themselves are the overwhelming bulk (all matter is energy, AKA vibration) of the fully manifested Physical creation itself.

Focus gently and lightly, with relaxed ease and soft acceptance, on the thoughts and feelings that feel the most right, that which feels the most like you.

Of course it is wonderful to start with that..

what is “You”?

A collection of chemicals that somehow accidentally became conscious?

Or a consciousness that is not limited to this collection of chemicals called a Body.

As electricity illuminates a light bulb yet is is quite logically not all contained within the bulb itself, so is our consciousness within, but also quite unlimited to, a finite physical form.

This individual consciousness has a perspective intertw**ed with the wish of wellbeing itself, that most ineffable of consciousnesses, and when the focus of the human centric consciousness aligns with the base layer wish for wellbeing, the feeling is indescribably, deliciously good.

What you want, wants you.

you are not here to prove or disprove, nor are you here to earn worthiness.

You exist.

And when you accept your simple existence as proof of your ability to receive the fullness of whatever your human will can concentrate on, the source of all, wellbeing itself moves to match your acceptance of causeless provision.