Kailena Van de Nes

Dancing through an injury isn’t dedication.

Pain is information. And when dancers feel like they have to hide it, medicate it, or push through it to keep their spot, role, solo or competition opportunity, that’s a problem.

Not every ache means something serious. But repeated pain deserves attention — and sometimes the answer isn’t “push harder.” Sometimes the training, recovery, progression or expectations need to change.

The goal should be a dancer who knows when to push, when to modify, and when to stop.

Longevity matters more than proving how much pain you can tolerate.

Save this. Share it with a dance parent, teacher or dancer who needs the reminder.

Flexibility training should build a dancer’s body — not break it.
More range isn’t always better range. A deeper split, a bigger backbend or a more extreme line means very little if the dancer doesn’t have the strength and control to own it.
We know more now than many of us did growing up in dance. That means we can do better.
Train the range. Strengthen the range. Respect the dancer in front of you.
Flexibility should be taught — not forced. 💗
Save this. Share it. Start the conversation.

I want dancers to ask questions. If another coach taught a skill differently, let’s talk about why we’re doing it this way.
But an eye roll, back talk, or “my other teacher said…” used to dismiss a correction shuts down the learning before it starts. I don’t need a dancer to get every note right away. I do need them to listen and be willing to try.
Parents can help with this, too. When your dancer says a teacher was “mean,” ask: What did they ask you to change? How was it said? What did you try next? And celebrate the moments your dancer applies a correction—not only the moments they land a new trick.
Corrections should be clear and respectful. Pain should always be taken seriously. But holding a standard and helping a dancer improve isn’t being mean.
Teachers and parents: what has helped your dancer learn to receive feedback?

“She’s nine and still doesn’t have her aerial.”
When did “still” become part of that sentence?
It’s easy to watch another child land a new skill and start questioning your own dancer’s progress.
But stronger basics, better control and the confidence to try again deserve recognition, too.
We can have goals, encourage effort and take training seriously while giving children time to learn.
Before asking, “Why can’t mine do that yet?” try asking, “What has my child improved on?”
They deserve to feel proud of how far they’ve come. 🩷
Share this with a dance parent who needs the reminder.

Being ready for advanced isn’t the same as wanting advanced. 👏
A dancer can have the skills and still need more time to develop the consistency, technique, independence and training maturity required at the next level.
And sometimes the best thing a coach can do is keep challenging a dancer exactly where they are — instead of rushing them forward.
Placement isn’t a reward.
It isn’t a punishment.
And it isn’t a race.
The goal isn’t to GET into advanced.
The goal is to BECOME advanced. 🩷
Parents + teachers: what do you think makes a dancer truly ready to move up?

Somewhere along the way, we started confusing “mature” with “talented.”
A child can be powerful, captivating, technically advanced and incredibly artistic — without being made to look or perform like an adult.
Age-appropriate doesn’t mean boring.
It doesn’t mean childish.
And it certainly doesn’t mean less talented.
As adults in this industry, we set the standard for what gets created, posted, praised and rewarded.
Dance is art. But “it’s art” shouldn’t be an excuse to stop using our judgment.
They’re children. We’re the adults. Act like it.
Where do you think the line should be drawn? 👇

We all know that ONE dance mom. 👀
The one who sits in the lobby watching the monitors — not just watching her own child, but critiquing everyone else’s.
The one with an opinion about other dancers, teachers, placements and choreography.
The one who shares information with kids that kids never needed to know.
The one who thinks age-inappropriate costumes, music or choreography are perfectly fine because “it’s dance.”
The one who rarely acknowledges anyone outside her circle — yet somehow other moms find themselves trying way too hard to earn her approval.
That isn’t just a difficult personality. When it’s allowed to influence everyone around it, it becomes studio culture.
Parents don’t have to be best friends. But they can be kind, respect boundaries, respect the professionals in the room and make other families feel like they belong.
Be the mom people are happy to see walk into the lobby — not the one who changes the energy when she does. 👀🩷