1CancerPatient

I was first diagnosed with stage III breast cancer on July 31, 2014, at the age of 39. Three years after that, I was diagnosed with stage IV metastatic breast cancer, which appeared in the vertebrae of my neck. Two years later, after complaining of headaches and dizziness, I went to the ER and was diagnosed with my third tumor. A brain CT scan and subsequent testing revealed stage IV metastatic breast cancer on the left side of my cerebellum. From the initial diagnosis, I made the decision to photograph and journal my life as a cancer patient. Initially, it was to remember what I looked like before so that I could compare it to my new self when I was finished. But over the last several years, photo-journaling my fight with this life-threatening disease evolved into so much more—it became a witness, a meditation, and a testament. Looking toward the future seemed a monumental task. I have endured the emotional and physical pain that comes with cancer. I have survived many surgeries: double mastectomy, lymph node dissection, hysterectomy, breast reconstruction, a corpectomy, and then a craniotomy. Twice, I’ve had a port-a-cath surgically placed for chemotherapy and immunotherapy treatments. Three times I’ve been subjected to radiation therapies. There were MRIs, PET/CT scans, colonoscopy, and embolization. There were many hours of physical therapy for lymphedema in my right arm, nerve damage in my right leg, and a loss of range of motion in my neck after wearing a brace for 7 months. This is the life of one cancer patient. The treatments and procedures may be completed, but like a relentless bully, the fight will follow me forever. I’m a Gen X’er from the suburbs of Chicago. I work as a union costumer with a career in television comedies. I am an informed woman with strong opinions, and a wife in love with her wonderfully understanding husband. I could look at my scars and feel broken or flawed, but I don’t. I see a new version of myself that I’m learning to love more each day. They remind me to be calm, to listen, to enjoy, and try to find the positive in the most unfair situations. Cancer does not define me, but I cannot deny the impact it’s had on my adult life. My family has become so much closer than I ever thought possible. My circle of friends has changed, but the relationships now are rooted in a deeper trust. My ability to continue with the same responsibilities at work has changed, but now I know who has my back and who will not let me go unemployed. My husband, Jim, will always be the love of my life. These images are meant to alleviate fear of the unknown and to bring a sense of calm to anyone facing their own battle. 1 Cancer Patient visually chronicles many aspects of a woman’s fight with this disease. Personal and intimate moments, frozen in time, reveal that strength, beauty, and humor are still possible even amidst surgeries, hair loss, chemo treatments, and normally mundane struggles of everyday life. This book is intended to unmask the unknown that comes with a cancer diagnosis, and show that a good (though altered) life is possible. Each time my life was turned upside down with another diagnosis I was given the gift of a new opportunity to expose and explain more about a battle with cancer. By collaborating with the talented photographers Georgina Cates, Warren Perlstein, and Stacy Cain, along with some special photographs taken by loved ones, I am now able to share my story. When we see ourselves represented in art, we can find unity and courage—even during our deepest battles. Each cancer diagnosis creates its own story, of which we are forced to become the author. While we may share a diagnosis and be united against this disease, ultimately we are each 1 cancer patient.