Eight Chairs

It’s 2am. You’re awake. You’re hot, then cold, then crying at a paper towel commercial, then quietly furious at the ceiling.

You text a friend, half expecting “go back to sleep.”

Instead: “OMG ME TOO.”

It’s never just you.

What’s your 2am text? 👇

She’s fine. 😂
(She is absolutely not fine.)

If you laughed, cringed, or said “how did you know” at any of these: hi. You’re in the right place.

Perimenopause is wild, nobody talks about it enough, and we are DONE going through it alone.

Save this for the next time someone tells you you seem fine. 🖤

Nobody warned us. Not our mothers, not our doctors, not one single person who’d been through it before us.

So we got the rage, the naps, and the forgetting…sometimes all within the same hour. We got the chin hair that arrived overnight with no warning and no return policy. We got all of it, honestly, with a literature section that was not forthcoming.

Here’s the thing: the silence is the problem, not you. So we’re done being quiet about it. We’re just going to tell each other.

Pull up a chair. There’s room. Tell us the one nobody warned you about.

The recovery day used to be for the marathon. Now it’s for the Tuesday.

Somewhere in your 40s the body quietly rewrites the rules. One bad night’s sleep costs you a week. One glass of wine costs you two days and your dignity. And reading a text in the wrong tone? That’s a full afternoon, gone.

You’re not soft. You’re not dramatic. Your hormones are renegotiating the entire contract and forgot to send you the memo.

If you’ve been keeping your own non-exhaustive list: same.
Drop the thing that lives at the top of yours below.

Be honest: how many of these are in your search history?

There’s a specific kind of 3 a.m. where you’re wide awake, soaked through your shirt, and asking Google questions you’d never say out loud. Is it hot in here or am I dying. Why do I hate everyone today. Can this really be starting already.

You’re not broken. You’re not too young. You’re not the only one typing this at 3 a.m.

You’re in perimenopause, and you’re in good company.

Which search hit a little too close? Tell us below.

Perimenopause checklist: The perimenopause to-do list is long. The results? Debatable.

Eight hours of sleep. More yoga. Less stress. Protein at every meal. We’ve heard it all, we’ve tried most of it, and somehow we’re still here at 3 a.m. negotiating with the ceiling.

If this list feels a little too familiar, you’re not doing it wrong. You’re just in it. And you’re not in it alone.

Swipe through, then tell us: which one have you been told one too many times?