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WIBTA for suing my friend when she didn’t come to my wedding?
Not the A-hole
I (25F) recently got married to my (25M) husband in Bali, Indonesia in January. It was a destination wedding, but my parents and his parents paid for their own plane tickets and hotel, but we paid for our friends plane tickets and hotel stays. Each plane ticket was about $2000 USD and hotel was maybe about $150-300 for a week. My friend “Gemma” brought along her newly wed husband “John” along but paid for his plane ticket. The problem is that Gemma and John did not show up to my wedding. Gemma took the free plane ticket to Bali and the hotel room and when I asked her why she didn’t show up she said that since they couldn’t afford their own honeymoon that this was a perfect opportunity and that Jim decided that he didn’t feel like going. I was really hurt by this since Gemma and I have been friends for over 10 years. WIBTA if I took her to small claims court for the money I spent on the plane ticket and hotel?

UPDATE: I messaged Gemma per multiple comments advising me to invoice her for the plane ticket and hotel room, but I did something a little better. I wanted to get proof so if I had to go to court it would be easier to win. I messaged her this:

“Hey sorry for being so distant but I just wanted to talk to you about Bali. Im hurt that you didn’t show up to the ceremony. I pulled a lot of strings to ensure that you could come and then you didn’t show up. Did you think i paid for the trip just so you could honeymoon with John?”

She replied, “Ive missed you a lot and I know I the trip was for ur wedding but John didn’t want to go bc he felt like your wedding ruined the illusion of the trip being our honeymoon and that you’d understand.”

I replied, “no I don’t understand. You took advantage of me and that’s not what real friends do. So I’m sending invoicing you $2387.53 for the cost of the plane ticket and hotel room. I will give you 30 days and after that I will be taking legal action.”

I received no response but she’s been posting subliminal quotes on Instagram that are along the lines of entitled friends and having snakes in your life.

Thank you all for your verdicts and help.

Edit/Update part 2:

I didn’t think this could get worse, but here we are.

I didn’t respond to any of the subliminal messages she posted about me on social media and I’ve been very quiet while I’ve been getting my ducks in a row for the litigation.

But, this past Friday she sent me a 3 page audit of financial and emotional contributions from 2015-present.

I wish i was fu***ng joking.

The audits:

- She itemized every dinner or lunch we’ve ever ate together (she estimated $18 per meal).

- Gas money for driving to and from hangouts

- A birthday gift from 2017 that she now claims she went into debt for, time spent emotionally supporting me after my dad passed. She said she took on the role a grief counselor for me even though I talked to her on the phone about it once for 30 minutes.

- One time she helped me move apartments. She wants to be paid for her labor

- And emotional distress caused by me threatening litigation

Her grand total? $2,412.09 which is conveniently within $25 of what I invoiced her. She then told me that if we’re really keeping score that I actually owe her $24.56.

I think I stared at the document for 10 minutes in silence in shock from the audacity because this bitch is delusional.

To clarify: I never asked her to cook for me. While I was in college, she did pay for lunches BUT when I definitely returned the favor big time once I graduated. I bought her many gifts over the years, I’ve let her stay at my house several times when she and John argued, and I have also lended a shoulder for her to cry on when she had difficult times in life, but apparently being a friend is now billable? I decided to give the message a thumbs down because if I respond I will be extremely disrespectful with the anger I am facing. I cannot wait for these 30 days to be over because I will be suing the f**k out of her.

Final Update:

Sorry that I haven't updated in a while. I've been trying to get my ducks in a row before I proceeded with everything.

While doing that, I was going through photos from Bali and ended up on the Instagram page of a local photographer who took pictures of me and my husband during a sailing excursion we went on. I was scrolling through their page and looking at random groups when I saw a very familiar face. It was Gemma and a man. And it wasn't John. It was a man I had never seen before.

There were multiple photos. One where they were just sitting down with drinks, one with Gemma and the guy wrapping his arm around her, and one of them kissing.

That's when everything clicked. My wedding was the day after everyone landed, which is why I never saw her at all, not at the hotel, not around town, nothing. I just assumed that she was trying to lie low around town to avoid a confrontation with me. She didn't skip my wedding because John didn't feel like going or that my wedding ruined the illusion of the trip being their honeymoon. She skipped it because she wasn't there with John, but with another man.

After seeing this photo of her and her affair partner, I decided to do my own detective work. I went to her instagram page and tried to see if I could find the guys instagram page in her following list or follower list. Nada. I tried to see if any guy that remotely looked like him was in her likes or comments. Nope. I felt defeated until I remembered about Gemma's small pottery instagram account and boom I found him. Let's say his name is Ryan. Ryan had severals photos that were taken in Bali on his page. He even had a photo of himself in the hotel room that I paid for. I was beyond pi**ed and just wanted to get my money back and just be done with Gemma altogether.

On the day of our court date, I told my side, showed the judge the text messages, and explained that I paid for her trip so she could attend my wedding and she didn't show up. Gemma claimed that the trip was a gift for her new marriage and not contingent on attending.

I didn't even have to bring up the fact that she didn't bring John because the judge didn't buy Gemma's story. I was awarded the full amount back. Gemma walked out of the courtroom without even looking at me. I know she was pi**ed. And as expected.... she went straight to Instagram and this time, she didn't hold back at all.

She started posting about me on her story, calling me a bitch, saying that's why I've can't have kids, posting photos of me calling me fat, saying that she'll go spit on the grave of my dead grandmother. Just diabolical mean girl stuff. The last time she brought our drama to social media, I ignored it. But not this time. I know what I did next was stooping to her level, but I didn't care.

I posted the photo of her kissing Ryan on my story and tagged her AND John in it. I captioned it, "Sorry we missed you in Bali. Hope you had fun!"

Within minutes, she began spamming my phone. She was calling, texting, leaving voicemails, screaming at me. And before I blocked her on everything, I messaged her one last time. I said, "You should've just come to the wedding."

AITA for discouraging someone from using their name because it's my name
I was part of a project at work. There were about 20 of us collaborating on this across several offices so pretty much the entire project was via Zoom, Slack and email. The entire time I was the only "Kate". I knew most on the project with only a handful of new names, one being ""Megan"".

Come the end of the project, we all get together for the first time and I put my hand up for organising some team events/dinners. Megan came up to me and offered to help with planning. I said all that was really left was to make a booking for dinner on the third night. Megan said she knew a place. Jump to that night and we all arrive at the restaurant. I asked Megan "what name did you put for the booking?" To which she replied "Kate." I smiled and said "Oh you didn't need to put it under my name." And she said "I didn't. Kate is my name."

I seriously had a mini freak out thinking I had been calling Megan by the wrong name the entire project. I tried to clarify "Oh I'm so sorry I thought your name was Megan. That's what's on all the company stuff." She huffed a bit and said "Megan is my legal name but everyone calls me Kate." I was very confused and tried "Oh is that like a middle name you prefer to go by because you can tell HR that and they'll change it on record." "No my name is Megan but I just don't like it so I go by Kate." At this point I was so confused so I just went in and sat down, away from her, for dinner.

The next morning I saw Megan and said good morning. She snapped at me that I should say "Good morning Kate" since I know that's her name. I took a breath and replied "Well we're at work now and everyone knows you as Megan. I've been the only Kate this whole time so it would be very confusing now to suddenly have two Kates." She huffed at me, called me a rude bitch then stormed off.

Later on another colleague asked me what was going on and I explained it as above. They said "Well if she said that's her preferred name we probably should respect that even if it's just for two days." I just said "first Zoom call everyone did a quick intro bit. She could have said "Hi I'm Megan but please call me Kate" back then and by now we'd have some distinction between us. But she basically sprung this claim to my name out of nowhere and I'm the bad guy for not wanting to muddy the waters of what work was done by Kate and by Not-really-Kate." Colleague just shrugged, said it was all a bit petty then we went back in to work. I agree it's petty but I also work hard and want to protect my recognition.

Project went well, everyone was happy and at least for now I have no reason to speak to Megan. It's still sitting weird with me that right before presentation time she decided she was also Kate. We did very different contributions to this project and it makes no sense to me to start confusing things by suddenly having two Kates. AITA?

AITA for not wanting to buy my girlfriend a steak ?
My (29M) girlfriend (28F) and I frequently eat out and enjoy meals together. I have a credit card that offers $100 a quarter on dining out . While out we decided to go to a family diner where meals are $20-40 a plate. My gf the avid steak enthusiast wanted to order a $60 steak while I wanted to order from the $20-30 lunch menu. I essentially stated no it was too expensive and offered her a $40 salmon instead. The $100 would’ve covered the whole bill if she ordered the steak and I wouldn’t have paid anything out of pocket.

After getting home from dinner she stated that she was upset that she couldn’t order what ever she wanted. I stated the money could have been used to help pay for another meal. The following night we used the remainder of the credit to help pay for dinner at a Chinese restaurant. No my girlfriend didn’t offer to pay the difference but she said she would’ve when we got home if it meant she could’ve ordered what she wanted

AITA for not wanting to buy my girlfriend a steak?

AITA for not forgiving $11k in child support?
Not the A-hole
So I (41f) have 2 kids (18m and 21f) with K (52m). We are on friendly terms, but K has never been a part of their lives, and lived in another state. No visits, no phone calls, no presents, no birthday cards, nothing. He worked under the table for 10 years and didn’t pay child support. I didn’t go after him at that time because I knew it was pointless. Well, he got a decent job and I took him to court. Last year, he got in a bad motorcycle accident and hasn’t been cleared to work yet. He has a brain injury from the accident. He got a warrant out because of child support and he’s asking me to forgive it so they’ll drop the warrant. I don’t want to. I feel it’s owed to me for raising 2 kids completely alone. This has now become a big debate with friends and family, so I’m coming here to try to see what the majority is. So Reddit, AITA for not forgiving his $11k in child support?