FYT Wellness

Sometimes we don’t need another opinion. We need to trust the one we already have. 🤍

Self-trust is built by listening to yourself, making the decision, and learning that you’ll be okay with whatever comes next.

How often do you find yourself asking everyone else what they think? 👇🏽

What if you’re addicted to healing… but more so to the feeling that you’re finally changing?

Another breakthrough.
Another realisation.
Another book.
Another podcast.
Another nervous system practice.
Another “holy s**t, THAT’S why I do it.”

And it can genuinely feel like progress.

But then you look at your actual life…

You’re still saying yes when you mean no.
Still avoiding the conversation.
Still staying where you know you’ve outgrown.
Still waiting until you feel “ready.”
Still putting off the thing you know you need to do.

And this is where I think we need to get really honest with ourselves.

Healing isn’t the problem.

Understanding your childhood, your conditioning, your triggers, your nervous system and your patterns can be incredibly transformative.

But eventually, the healing has to translate into your life.

Because you can be self-aware as f**k and still be stuck.

You can understand exactly why you do something and continue doing it.

The goal isn’t to spend your entire life analysing yourself.

It’s to understand yourself deeply enough that you can respond differently.

That’s where the real transformation happens.

So ask yourself:

Am I using what I’m learning about myself to actually change my life’s path?

Or am I getting really f**king good at understanding why I don’t?

For a long time I thought I was just a negative person.

Everything felt heavy. Everything felt like a threat. Everything felt like it was about to go wrong.

I’d walk down the street and if I saw someone who looked drug affected, my whole body would go into fight or flight.

I’d see tree shadows and think someone was about to jump out at me sometimes.

I’d meet someone genuinely kind and spend the entire time waiting for their hidden agenda to show itself.

Because nobody was just nice. There was always a catch.

I’d enter relationships and immediately start performing, people pleasing, being someone I thought was safe enough to love …because I was just waiting for them to figure out who I actually was and leave.

When people asked how I was I said fine.

I wasn’t fine.

I was exhausted and I knew I was draining to be around, which made everything worse.

I genuinely believed this was just who I was.

It wasn’t.

What was actually happening was hypervigilance.

After years of personal trauma and nearly 8 years as a police detective, my nervous system had completely reset its baseline.

It was no longer operating from safety, it was operating from permanent threat.

Scanning constantly, waiting for the next thing to go wrong, reading danger into situations that were safe, and protecting me from people who didn’t actually mean me harm.

Because that’s what a traumatised nervous system does.

It doesn’t know the threat is gone.

Keep you safe. At any cost.

Even when that cost is your relationships.
Your joy.
Your ability to trust.
Your ability to believe something good could actually stay.

If you’ve spent your life being told you’re too negative, too anxious, and you are always expecting the worst…

I want you to hear this:

You are not a negative person.

You are not broken.

You are not too much.

Your nervous system is just still waiting for the next thing to go wrong.

And it can change.

That’s the work I do and it’s the work that changed everything for me.

The Cycle Reset™ round 2 starts 20th October. 6 spots remaining.

Comment RESET or dm me for more info.

A different perspective on the Sydney Sweeney conversation.

And I want to preface this by saying —

I am not suggesting anyone is any of the following.

This comes from a place of curiosity. Not judgment.

Because that’s what shadow work requires.

So let’s get curious.

Is the reaction really about Sydney Sweeney?

Or is it the reaction of a woman who has never been given permission to express herself freely?

Who has been shamed sexually at some point in her life?

Who has worked incredibly hard for her body — and made the assumption that Sydney hasn’t — and so feels that Sydney’s right to do this isn’t justified?

And here’s the one that I think is the most confronting:

How many of the women reacting most strongly — are also posting provocative images of themselves?

Just with a fitness label on it.

Because the fitness label makes it acceptable.

It makes it purposeful.

It removes the shame.

And so when someone does the same thing — without the label, without the justification — it touches something.

Because maybe some part of them hasn’t fully given themselves permission either.

They’re doing the thing.

They just haven’t owned it yet. Now — I want to be clear.

The sexualisation of female athletes is a real issue.

It is a legitimate and important conversation.

And it can coexist with this one.

Both things can be true at the same time.

The issue can be real — AND the intensity of the personal reaction can be pointing to something internal.

Because that’s what shadow work teaches us.

The intensity of our reaction to something outside of us is directly proportionate to our internal wounding.

Which means the stronger the trigger —

The more worth exploring.One more thing.

A lot of people who spoke on this had never heard of Sydney Sweeney before this week.

And I wonder — how much of the reaction was genuine outrage?

And how much was an opportunity to be seen taking a position?

To demonstrate values.
To gain credibility.
To be relevant in a conversation that was everywhere.

When maybe — it could have just been left alone.

When you’re triggered and the spiral starts

Why did I do that.
I knew better.
What is wrong with me.
Maybe I’m just broken.
Maybe this is just who I am.

That internal monologue feels like self awareness.

It’s not. It’s bypassing.

Because underneath all of that self blame, there is a part of you trying to get your attention.

A part of you that got scared.
A part of you that felt unseen.
A part of you that is trying to protect you from something that felt unsafe.

And instead of turning toward her, you judge her and ignore her.

And she gets louder.

Next time you’re triggered- Try asking:

What am I actually feeling right now?
What part of me is trying to get my attention?
How can I give myself some reassurance?
What would I say to my child and can I give that to myself?

That’s not weakness…That’s the work.

And it changes everything.

Round 2 of The Cycle Reset™ starts 20th October — 8 spots remaining.

Comment RESET or send me a DM me for details. 🤍

This one has been a long time coming.

Not just in the building of it — but in the living of it.
Every pattern I’ve worked through. Every cycle I’ve broken. Every moment I sat across from a woman and watched something finally shift after years of it not shifting.

This is where it all lives.

The Cycle Reset™ is open.

Eight weeks. Trauma informed. Going to the root of the unconscious patterns running your relationships, your emotions and your sense of self.

Not the surface.
Not another program that names the problem without reaching it.

The actual work.

If you’ve been following along and something has been landing — this is what it’s been leading to.

If you’re new here and this stopped you — trust that.
Either way, you’ll know if this is for you.

Drop RESET in the comments or send me a DM and I’ll send you everything you need to know. 🤍

↓ Save this. Share it with the woman who needs it. You’ll know who she is.

Couple of exciting updates for my business and work I teach.

I’m currently re doing my cert 3 and 4 in fitness to integrate that into my coaching because let’s face it- so many of us want health and fitness goals but don’t have the internal nervous system alignment and wonder why we get stuck. I’m here to help you integrate it all.

Secondly, I’m training in teacher training to teach other practitioners an energetic modality to help their clients. I’ll also be able to hold training spaces to teach reiki level 1 and 2.

Would love to hear thoughts or ideas on this all from my community on what you would be excited for? Help me help you 👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽

Something came up in a client session recently that I see so often.

We were exploring rigidity. Not rigidity in the way we usually talk about it — being stubborn or closed minded.

But rigidity in routine.

Training schedules. Nutrition rules. Structures and systems that feel non negotiable.

She had always seen herself as someone who was just really good with routine.

Disciplined. Consistent. Together.

Until we looked underneath it.

And what we found wasn’t discipline, it was control.

Specifically — control born from fear.

Fear of going back to a past version of herself she hadn’t yet made peace with.

And I see this so often.

Sometimes the rigidity isn’t about the routine at all. It’s about what the routine is protecting you from.

A past body.
A past version of your life.
A feeling of chaos in other areas that you can’t control —
so you control what you can.

The food. The training. The schedule. The rules.

And for a while — it works.

It gives you a sense of safety and predictability in a world that feels uncertain.

But here’s the problem with rigidity without flexibility:

Life happens.

You get sick.
You get injured.
Circumstances change.
The routine gets disrupted.

And if there’s no flexibility built in —The disruption doesn’t just feel inconvenient.

It feels catastrophic.

The shame spiral starts.
The guilt sets in.
The inner critic gets loud.

Not because missing a session or changing a meal actually matters that much but because the routine was doing a much bigger job than just keeping you healthy.

It was keeping you safe.

And when it breaks, even temporarily — that sense of safety breaks with it.

This is where the real work is.

Not in the routine itself.

But in understanding what the routine has been protecting you from.

And building enough safety inside yourself that you no longer need the rigidity to feel okay.

Because when routine includes flexibility, ie you can miss a session and not spiral, you can eat differently for a week and not fall apart, life disrupts the plan and you can adapt without shame- that’s what balance and regulation feels like.