Equipped Parenting

Do you know a child who is grieving? Grief in children often looks different than our adult grief. They “puddle jump” in and out of their grief, to protect themselves from being crushed by the pain. This is a good thing. 🤍 Another unique thing with childhood grief is how they naturally end up re-grieving losses as they grow. Maturity brings a clearer understanding of what the loss actually means, and how life will never be the same. It can sometimes catch us adults off guard, seeing our children mourn things we “thought they were over”.

If you want to hear more about how to support kids who grieve, I’ll be speaking tomorrow night at Sherwood Park Alliance Church. Thanks Sherwood Park Alliance Church for having me!

We know avoidance fuels anxiety. Here’s some messages you can teach your kids to help switch their perspective on anxiety — from something that should be feared, to something that tells them that what they are doing matters. 🤍

It’s breaks my heart that we need to talk to our children about this. In Canada this week, we were reminded that we are not immune to school violence. Our prayers go out to the Tumbler Ridge community. 🤍

If you’re unsure how to approach the topic of school violence/threats with your kids, I get it. I’ve put a lot of thought to it this week as we’ve wrestled with what’s gone on. What I do know, when we talk to our kids about the hard and scary things, they learn they can come to us about other hard and scary things. Here are a few tips to help you navigate these conversations.

Remember:
- Stay calm
- Keep it age-appropriate
- Ask open-ended questions
- Stick to the facts
- Validate feelings while reassuring of safety
- Limit media exposure

And remember, while school violence can occur, schools remain very safe places with highly trained staff and protocols in place. 🤍

Parents, don’t be mad at me ok?

…If I can tell you one truth about anxiety, it’s this: avoidance is anxiety’s BFF. Why?

When anxious thoughts and feelings well up inside us/our kids, we naturally want to avoid that uncomfortable experience. Our body is telling us we are unsafe, and we should flee. But most of the time, we are safe. We’re telling ourselves there’s a threat we can’t handle (when we really can).

Going to a birthday party? It’ll be awful if I don’t know anyone there. Writing a test I’m not 100% prepared for? I’ll probably fail. These thoughts always win out when we avoid the scary thing.

And when we avoid, we experience immediate relief - which is so reinforcing.

But, what happens the next time we are invited to a birthday party or have to write a test? We experience even more intense fear.

And the cycle continues.

If you’ve given into avoidance, it’s come from a good place. I know that, because I’ve done it too as a parent. We want to protect our kids’ self-confidence, but ironically, this backfires.

Instead, remind yourself (and your kiddo) that doing the hard, scary thing is what actually builds their confidence and reduces fear. You’re NOT a bad parent for giving your kids a push.

What do you think?! Is avoidance holding you/your kiddo back from peace? Are there ever times avoidance is ok? Do you feel guilty when you push your kids to do hard things?

I hear it ALLLL the time from kids when I’ve asked them why they haven’t shared that big scary hard thing with mom & dad. They always tell me — “my parents will FREAK OUT! There’s NO WAY I can tell them.”

Now, as a parent, I feel your difficulty too. It’s HARD to stay calm and steady when they tell you that big thing.

What’s a parent to do? Be “ask-able.”

When I’ve talked to parents of teens who seem to just connect well, the parents always say: Master your poker face. Don’t react. Zero facial expressions.

Swipe right for more ways to be an “ask-able parent” to keep the conversation going 🤍

Jumping on the 2016 bandwagon a little late because that’s how I roll. Early 2016 I was a new mom to two, not really knowing what I was doing, and learning to parent while feeling stretched thin and often overwhelmed. We had some challenges at home, especially related to separation anxiety, and I was desperate to dig in and find solutions. I remember a little flame starting to burn inside my spirit, telling me I was to step out and do something new — that I had a purpose I hadn’t discovered yet, but was waiting for me.

Little did I know that year I’d start a new career track in school counselling, and in the suuuper busy years to follow, I’d start & finish my master’s degree, have another baby, become a certified counsellor and begin coaching parents and speaking to audiences so they feel more hopeful and more equipped in their role as parents. There is no more important work we do than love our babies well. If you need some hope and strategies, reach out. I’m so excited to partner with you and see what 2026 brings!

Back to school after the Christmas break is kicking my butt… you guys too? We are sleep deprived and that’s leading to more ‘tude and power struggles than usual.

The other day my husband responded to one of our kids with one of my favourite lines:

“I love you too much to argue with you.”

Why does this work? 👆🏻
✨ It holds the boundary. It says we will no longer engage in conflict about something we’ve already discussed and said no to.
✨ It reminds our kids that boundaries are a sign of love, not control.
✨ It stops the argument in its tracks and opens the door to redirection.

And maybe most importantly, it helps us stay regulated. When we stop arguing, we stop escalating.

Save this for the next power struggle and let me know if you try it.