Upskill Consulting

We’re really good at filling in the blanks.

⭐️ Someone doesn’t reply to our email.
⭐️ Someone challenges our idea in a meeting.
⭐️ Someone is unusually quiet.

And before we know it, we’ve written the whole story.

⭐️ They’re annoyed with me.
⭐️ They don’t agree.
⭐️ They’re disengaged.
⭐️ They don’t respect my idea.

But here’s the question I’ve learned to ask myself: What if the story I’m telling myself isn’t true?

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned through coaching and leadership work is that behaviour rarely tells us the whole story. We see the behaviour. We don’t always see the motivation, pressure, values, fears, or circumstances sitting underneath it.

That’s where self-awareness comes in. Can we catch ourselves before assumption becomes fact? Can we stay curious long enough to ask a question instead of creating an answer? I’m still working on this one myself.

But learning to pause before writing the story has made me a better coach, a better leader and, I hope, a better human.

What story have you caught yourself creating lately?

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Today I had the pleasure of spending the day in Kamloops with the incredible team at TRUE Consulting facilitating a workshop on Accountability Amplified.

Accountability often gets a bad reputation. People hear the word and think blame, criticism, or difficult conversations but that’s not what accountability is about.

Real accountability starts with ownership. Owning our actions, decisions, impact. It’s also about supporting one another, speaking up when something isn’t working, and creating a team environment where people feel safe enough to have honest conversations.

We spent the day exploring what helps teams thrive. Thank you to the team at TRUE Consulting for your engagement, thoughtful discussions, and willingness to lean into the conversations. It was a wonderful day, and I appreciate the opportunity to be part of your leadership journey.

This week I wrapped up a full day of training in Ottawa, and I have to say ... what an incredible group at McCay Duff LLP.

From the moment we started, everyone was engaged. People asked thoughtful questions, shared ideas, leaned into the exercises, and weren't afraid to challenge themselves or each other. There was no resistance - just a genuine willingness to learn and grow. As a facilitator, that makes my job pretty easy.

The focus was performance feedback, and while many organizations see feedback as part of the annual review process, it's so much more than that.

When people know how to give, receive, and use feedback well, the return on investment goes far beyond better performance reviews.

It leads to:

⭐️ Stronger relationships built on trust.
⭐️ Clearer expectations and accountability.
⭐️ More meaningful coaching conversations.
⭐️ Employees who know where they stand and how to grow.
⭐️ Leaders who feel more confident having conversations that matter.
⭐️ Better retention because people feel supported and invested in.

That's the real ROI of leadership development.

Not just a great workshop, but better conversations that continue long after the training ends.

A huge thank you to everyone who participated. Your openness, curiosity, and willingness to engage made it a fantastic day. I appreciate the opportunity to be part of your learning journey.

Pressure has to go somewhere.

Watching the geysers in Iceland was incredible. You know it’s coming … you wait and then suddenly - there it goes!

It made me think about something that comes up a lot in coaching.

We can only operate under pressure for so long without it showing up somewhere.

👉 In our patience.
👉 Our communication.
👉 Our reactions.
👉 How we show up with our teams and at home.

Sometimes we’re so busy pushing through that we don’t notice the pressure building.

What are you doing to release some of yours before it erupts?

A little Iceland reminder to check in with yourself.

One of the quickest labels we give someone at work? “They’re difficult.”

Whenever I hear it, I get curious. Not because difficult behaviour doesn’t exist. It does. But after years of working with leaders and teams, I’ve learned that we’re often very quick to judge the behaviour we see - without understanding what’s driving it.

- The colleague asking endless questions? They may be trying to create certainty.
- The leader pushing for a faster decision? They may be wired toward action and momentum.
- The person slowing things down to protect a relationship? They may be noticing something everyone else has missed.

Different doesn’t automatically mean difficult.

Sometimes the person frustrating us most simply sees the world through a different lens. They value something we don’t. Notice something we missed. Need something we don’t. And that’s where self-awareness matters.

Instead of asking, “Why are they so difficult?”

Try asking: “What might be important to them that I’m not seeing?”

That one shift - from judgment to curiosity - can completely change a relationship.

Has someone ever surprised you once you understood what was driving their behaviour?

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Today I had the pleasure of spending the day in Abbotsford with the incredible team at Wiebe Properties.

While I often work with leaders on how to give meaningful feedback, today's conversation was all about the other side of the equation - how employees can receive feedback in a way that supports their own growth and development.

We talked about how to:

⭐️ Receive feedback with curiosity.
⭐️ Ask for feedback instead of waiting for it.
⭐️ Know when and how to ask for help.
⭐️ Set meaningful goals.
⭐️ Take ownership of your own learning, skills, and career development.

One of the messages I hope everyone walked away with is this: your career is yours to own.

Great leaders play an important role in coaching and supporting their teams, but growth also requires employees to be engaged, open to learning, and willing to take the initiative.

A huge thank you to the team at Wiebe Properties for your energy, engagement, and thoughtful participation today. It was a pleasure spending the day with you!

The anticipation was WAY worse than actually doing it. A rope. A log. A river to cross.

I was anxious before I even started. In my head, I’d already imagined all the ways this could go wrong.

And then … I did it.

One careful step at a time. Across the river. Done. And pretty darn proud of myself afterwards!

It reminded me of so many conversations I have in coaching.

👉 The conversation we’re dreading.
👉 The decision we keep putting off.
👉 The thing we’re not sure we can do.

Sometimes we spend far more energy worrying about something than we do actually doing it.

Feel the nerves. Grab the rope. Take the first step.

Turns out, you might just surprise yourself.

This is my second year attending, and I'm excited to be back at the beautiful Vancouver Club for a day of learning, connection, and great conversations. The symposium brings together women from a variety of industries to explore financial confidence, leadership, and building a strong future.

One of the things I value most about events like this is the opportunity to step away from the day-to-day and invest in learning. As someone who spends so much of my time coaching leaders and facilitating workshops, I also believe it's important to keep growing myself.

The best leaders never stop learning.

Here's to a day of new ideas, meaningful connections, and leaving inspired.

One of the biggest shifts in my coaching came when I stopped asking: “What happened?”

And started asking: “What was important to you in that moment?”

That question changes the conversation.

Suddenly, we’re not just talking about what someone did. We’re getting underneath the behaviour.

⭐️ Someone was trying to protect a relationship.
⭐️ Someone was determined to move the work forward.
⭐️ Someone needed more clarity before making a decision.

What we see on the surface is behaviour. What we don’t always see is what’s driving it.

⭐️ A value.
⭐️ A motivation.
⭐️ A need.
⭐️ Something that mattered enough to shape how that person responded.

That realization has changed the way I coach, lead, and navigate my own relationships because self-awareness isn’t always about finding better answers. Sometimes it starts with asking a better question.

So here’s one worth sitting with: When you react strongly to something, what are you actually trying to protect, achieve, or honour?

And I’d love to hear yours: What’s a question that changed the way you think?

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➕ Follow for practical tools, conversations and ideas to help you lead people better.

I received this feedback after facilitating a workshop on "Performance Feedback", and there was another part that meant just as much:

“…linking the workshop materials to our specific competencies and values makes it very concrete.”

This is exactly why I don’t believe in taking the same leadership workshop and delivering it EVERYWHERE.

The examples should feel familiar. The tools should be practical. The language should connect to how the organization actually works.

The goal isn’t for someone to leave thinking, “That was an interesting workshop.” It’s for them to leave thinking: “I can actually use this.”

And if they leave energized after a very busy week too? I’ll happily take that win.