Janeama

Nobody really warns you that after kids, you can become amazing parents and slowly stop being lovers.

Before children, it was easier to talk, go out, laugh, make plans, and enjoy each other without thinking about bedtime, school runs, babysitters, or who needs what next.

Then kids come, and the marriage starts sharing space with everything else.

Work. Bills. Laundry. Tiredness. Responsibilities. And somehow, most conversations become about the children or what needs to be done.

That’s why I think date nights matter after kids. Not because every couple needs fancy dinners or expensive outings, but because sometimes you need to remember that before you became “Mom” and “Dad,” you were two people who actually chose each other.

But I also know it’s not always easy. Some people don’t have family nearby. Babysitters are expensive. Sometimes both of you are simply tired.

So I’m genuinely curious.

How do you keep dating your spouse after kids?

Do you still plan date nights, create little moments at home, or has that part of the relationship slowly disappeared?

And be honest , did having children bring you closer, make marriage harder, or simply change the relationship completely?

She left my house because I asked her to take off her shoes.

A friend came over, walked in with her shoes on, and I simply asked if she could leave them by the door.

That’s just how we do things in my house. Outdoor shoes stay outside.

But she took it as an insult. She said it was rude, got upset, and eventually left.

I honestly didn’t expect that reaction because to me, it wasn’t personal at all. It was just a house rule.

But it did make me wonder how differently people see this.

Some people think asking guests to remove their shoes is completely normal. Others think it makes visitors uncomfortable or feels disrespectful.

So now I want to know what you think.

If someone invites you into their home and asks you to take off your shoes, would you be offended? Or do you think you should simply respect the rules of the house?

And in your own home .shoes on or shoes off?

I don’t think screen time is the real problem. I think too much screen time is.

I know some parents are very strict about tablets, phones and TV, and I understand why. But I also don’t think every minute a child spends on a screen is automatically bad.

Sometimes they’re watching something educational. Sometimes they’ve already played, read, done homework and been outside. And sometimes, if I’m being real, I just need a little quiet while I get things done.

Where I draw the line is when the screen becomes the answer to every little moment of boredom. I still want my kids to know how to play, create, talk, read and entertain themselves without always reaching for a device.

So I’m curious because I know parents handle this very differently.

Are you strict with screen time in your house, or are you more flexible? And what is one screen-time rule you absolutely refuse to compromise on?

Can we admit something? Sometimes you can love being a mother and still miss the woman you were before kids.

I don’t think people talk about that enough.

Before children, you could think about yourself without feeling guilty. You could go out, rest, make plans, change your mind, spend your own time how you wanted.

Then motherhood comes, and suddenly somebody needs you all the time.

You become “Mom” before anything else.

And yes, it’s beautiful. But I also think a lot of women slowly stop doing the things they used to enjoy, stop seeing friends as much, stop dressing up for themselves, stop chasing certain dreams, and one day realize they don’t really know who they are outside of motherhood anymore.

I don’t think saying that makes anyone a bad mother. I think it’s a conversation more women should be able to have without feeling guilty.

So mothers, let’s be honest: do you miss who you were before children? And if you could get one part of your old self back, what would it be?

Let me ask something because people have VERY different opinions about this… should a relationship really be 50/50 financially? 👀

Say you both work, but one person earns significantly more than the other. The rent or mortgage is due, groceries need to be bought, there are utilities, childcare, outings… everything that comes with normal life.

Do you still divide every bill exactly in half?

Because I keep seeing people say, “We both work, so we should both pay 50/50.” And I understand that. But then I also understand the people who say, “If I earn much more than my partner, why should we struggle just to make everything exactly equal?”

Then there’s another side people don’t always talk about. What if both people are paying 50/50 financially, but one person is also doing most of the cooking, cleaning, childcare, school runs and everything else at home? Is that still 50/50?

Maybe the real question isn’t whether things are equal, but whether they actually feel fair to both people.

I know some couples split everything straight down the middle, some contribute according to their income and others don’t even have “his money” and “her money” everything is simply family money.

So I really want to hear from people in different relationships and different parts of the world: what works for you?

50/50? Based on income? One person handles most of the bills? Or everything goes into one account?

And if you’re married or have been in a long-term relationship, has money ever made you change the way you originally thought a relationship should work? 👇