Chapter 2

There is still time to take part in the Pizza and Quiz night to raise money for Chapter2.

Chapter2 Founder, Dr Rich Kay, reflects on how boys become good men.

My father taught me how to skim a stone, and I in turn, have taught my son. I like to think the craft has been bestowed on me and will be bestowed for many generations of my kin to come.

Those that have tried to skim a stone will know there is a process to learn. One doesn’t just walk up to a lake, pick up a random stone, hurl it into the lake to watch it merely dance across the surface of the lake. The is a skill to skimming a stone that needs to be demonstrated, ideally by the rough hands of an experienced skimmer.

How to choose the perfect stone is the first skill to learn, flat, smooth, circular and not too heavy or too light. Then there is the knowhow of what conditions to look for; a calm mirror-like reflection is enough to excite any seasoned skimmer. And most importantly, there is a technique to be taught; the angle that the stone hits the water, the ideal rotation and speed of the stone.

It is a metaphor for how a boy becomes a good man. He needs to be shown how. How to treat women with respect, how to respond calmly in moments of crisis and how to manage the testosterone fuelled anger that can simmer within. Such crafts can not be learnt from books or TikTok. They need the close proximity of good men that can show them how. Such crafts are bestowed.

And what wonderful motivation for fathers. That when we model good character and make wise choices for our sons to model, that such craft will continue to be passed down for generations to come. With each generation becoming a slightly better ‘skimmer’ than the generation before. It feels me with hope to think that we can set our sons and grandsons on a trajectory towards becoming better men than we are. Could that be one of the primary callings on all fathers? To inspire and guide their son towards being a better man than them?

Chapter2 – Mentoring Fatherless Boys, Berkshire At Chapter2 we believe every boy needs a good man to guide him to adulthood. We are a Berkshire-based mentoring charity providing long-term male mentors for fatherless boys. Help us write hope into the fatherless story. Become a mentor today.

We had our last Mums and Guardians Coffee morning Tutu's Ethiopian Table this morning. The cafe will close its doors after 20 years in October. We just wanted to thank Tutu for creating such a lovely community space where our mums and guardians can come together for bit of time to meet new people, share their experiences and relax. You will be missed!!!

We are very excited to announce that this summer we were successful in our bid to BBC Children in Need. We are so thankful for those who have and continue to raise funds for Children in Need. The grant over the next two years will support our work to match more fatherless boys with a positive male mentor.

If you want to find out more about what it takes to mentor please visit our website: https://chapter2.org.uk/mentor/whats-involved/

Dr Richard Kay, Founder of Chapter2, asks the question, "Is there a scared kid deep down in all men?"

One of our older mentees shared recently that he feels like a scared boy deep down. His words are true of many, if not all men, at times. There are moments in our lives when we suddenly realise that there is still a little boy inside of us, and that boy can show up at unexpected moments.

When I was in my 40s, I had one such moment. Many years beforehand, I had inherited my grandfather’s traditional wood plane. I was keen to put it to good use and for my hands to master a tool that my grandfather had mastered decades before me. It felt more than just a DIY task. It had a sense of taking my place in the family tree and of initiation by my forefathers.

Sadly, my admiration of traditional craftsmanship was much greater than my ability to be the craftsman. As the wood plane stuttered, gouged and became clogged with wood shavings, I became increasingly frustrated. The frustration soon turned to anger and finally tears. I had no clue how to use the tool properly and the person I would have typically turned to for guidance, my father, had recently passed away. I needed someone with experience to guide me and I felt alone in that moment. The ‘scared boy deep down’ had just shown himself.

To recognise that all of us have a scared boy inside of us is critical if a man is to grow in wisdom and character. For myself, that meant asking for help from a local carpenter friend that showed me how to use the wood plane correctly. For the mentee in question, to verbalise his fear is huge. It means he too is more able to ask for help and support, particularly from older men like a Chapter2 mentor. Thankfully he is not alone and has had a chapter2 mentor for many years. The same man, patiently showing him how to use the essential tools of life like kindness, self-control and love.

Chapter2 – Mentoring Fatherless Boys, Berkshire At Chapter2 we believe every boy needs a good man to guide him to adulthood. We are a Berkshire-based mentoring charity providing long-term male mentors for fatherless boys. Help us write hope into the fatherless story. Become a mentor today.

One month to go until our next Mentor Training Day.

Join us for our free training which covers:
➡️ The need for mentoring fatherless boys
➡️ The Chapter2 mentoring philosophy
➡️ An understanding of the impact of early life trauma
➡️ What mentoring is and what it isn't
➡️ How to safeguard a mentee and yourself while mentoring
➡️ How you will be supported as a mentor

There is no obligation to mentor by joining the training.

To register your interest visit our website: https://chapter2.org.uk/mentor/register-interest-2/.