SHIRI

I want to be a little self-absorbed and talk to everyone and no one today.
I am so grateful for the people who are here, following me along the journey of my life and art since so long.
Sometimes i wonder if this is the right place for me. because it's not easy . To be here, to be consistent and fully present. And it's been harder since I lost my baby, Minion.
My brain is a roller coaster of emotions all day and night.
It lies to me, it bullies me. There's only hopelessness and confusion, and then the night terrors.
I absolutely hate what i become on the days I don't take my medication. When i can't leave the bed for days or can't talk to people.
And on the days i take my meds, i hate myself a little less but there are the side effects I have to manage.
Nausea, dizziness, weight fluctuations,memory issues dysfunctional relationship to food and sleep issues.
Etc.
But everytime I paint, it all quiets down.
Colors are all I see and hear and think of.
And I am so glad to have this small piece of heaven to myself.
So, once again, thank you all for supporting and loving my support system. You have no idea what it does for me.