Nath billion

De only Son of his mother is on way to ebonyi
Pray for John and mercy 🙏🙏
Don't forget to F0L0 My back pa'ge Nath billion

Omo, I am still ashamed of myself till today! 😭🤣

I have a wife o... but for some reason, I was secretly chatting with one fine babe for weeks. 😩🙈

Every morning: "Good morning dear ❤️"

Every afternoon: "Have you eaten? 🥰"

Every night: "I miss you 😘"

Omo, before I knew it, feelings entered the chat! 😭😂

One day, we finally agreed to meet.

She was in Enugu... I was in Lagos.

Instead of her coming to Lagos, I said:

"Baby, don't stress yourself. A responsible man will come to you." 😎😂

The problem was that my account balance was looking like a fasting and prayer program. 💀

So I borrowed ₦100,000 from my wife and lied that my boss had sent me on an important project in Enugu. 🤦🏽‍♂️

My wife even placed her hands on my head and prayed:

"God will protect you."
"Amen."

"God will guide you."
"Amen."

"God will not let temptation come your way."
😳😳😳

At that point I nearly confessed, 🙆 But greed pushed me forward......I entered the bus and traveled all the way to Enugu. 🚌💨

On the way, I bought suya 🌶️, chicken 🍗, Hollandia yoghurt 🥛, soft drinks 🥤 and other supplies like I was going for a honeymoon package. 🤣🤣

As I reached her place...

Omooooooooo!!!

This girl was fine! 😭🔥

The kind of beauty that makes a man forget his village people.

She looked like heaven mistakenly dropped one of their angels in Enugu. 😩😂

My heart was doing:

Gbim!
Gbim!!
Gbim!!!

I was already calculating how I would return to Lagos smiling from Monday till Christmas. 🤣

Because of the long journey, I decided to shower first.

After bathing, I came out fresh and shining like a newly imported Toyota Camry. 🚿✨😂

I was about to begin enjoying the weekend package...

KPO! KPO!! KPO!!!

Someone knocked on the door. 🚪😳

I asked:

"Baby, are you expecting somebody?"

She said:

"No."

My blood pressure immediately increased. 😭

I asked again:

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

She replied casually:

"Yes."

😳😳😳😳😳

I nearly swallowed my tongue.

I asked:

"Where is he?"

She said:

"He's an army officer. But don't worry, he's serving in the North."

My mind calmed down small....Then...

KPO! KPO!! KPO!!!

The knocking became more aggressive.

She asked:

"Who is there?"

A male voice replied:

"Na me, Wale."

😳😳😳😳😳

"Your boyfriend?"

"Yes."

😫😫😫😫😫

Omo, my soul left my body and came back.

The babe looked at me and shouted:

"Quickly enter the fridge!!"

😭😭😭😭😭

Before I could ask questions, she had already opened the fridge....Fear entered me, Common sense left me.....I entered She locked it..🙆

Ladies and gentlemen...I became frozen chicken. 🐔❄️....For over 30 minutes I was inside that fridge.

The worst part?....
The boyfriend and the girl sat down and started eating the suya I bought. 😭😭😭

"Wow this suya is sweet."

"Baby, take more chicken."

"Drink yoghurt."

😭😭😭

THE YOGHURT I PAID FOR!!!....THE CHICKEN I PAID FOR!!!.......THE SUYA I PAID FOR!!!

I was inside the fridge listening to them enjoy my investment. 😂😂😂
Then NEPA brought light.

Omooooooooo!!!

The fridge started working at full capacity ❄️❄️❄️, Within minutes, my ancestors were appearing before me.

One of them said:

"Is this why you borrowed money from your wife?" 😭🤣

I was shivering like generator key...Suddenly, the boyfriend went to the toilet...That was my moment of salvation....🙆 The babe quickly opened the fridge.

I jumped out like a prisoner escaping from prison. 🏃🏽‍♂️💨

I didn't carry my bag.

I didn't carry my dignity.

I didn't carry my investment.

I only carried my phone and my shame. 😭😂

I ran outside wearing only my night pyjamas.

People were looking at me like escaped psychiatric patient. 🤣🤣🤣

Now I'm stranded in Enugu.

No money...No bag...No chicken....No yoghurt...No girlfriend...Only regret. 😭💔

The painful part is that I still don't know what story to tell my wife....

Should I say armed robbers attacked me?

Or should I tell her the truth that I traveled from Lagos to Enugu...

JUST TO ENTER A FRIDGE? 😂😂😂😂😂

💀💀💀💀💀

MORAL LESSON:
Before you leave your wife for another woman, make sure you're not going to end up as frozen food. ❄️🤣🤣🤣

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🤣 Godsent was a very dull boy. His parents called him “Father of f000ls” 😭

When he was in a private school, he got the following results:

Maths = 2% 📉
English = 5% 😩
Science = 0% 💀
Social Sciences = 1% 😭

He was later taken to a government school and got these results:

Maths = 0% 😭
English = 1% 🤦🏽‍♂️
Science = 0% 💔
Social Sciences = 0% 😂

His parents were very disappointed, but still decided to put him in a Catholic school ⛪

First term results came out and Godsent was first in class 🏆🔥

Maths = 90%
English = 93%
Science = 95%
Social Sciences = 89% 📚✨

His parents could not believe it and asked him how he managed to pass.

Godsent replied:

"When I saw a man nail£d on the cross, I knew these teachers don’t joke with students here!" 😭😂

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom.” 🙏😂

I hope this made you smile today 😊