Life with Rayo

Be kind to you.

It is a superpower.

Sade had been married for five years without a child when her sister-in-law volunteered to take her to a man of God. She claimed that the pastor had prayed for her and she was already pregnant after two years of waiting.

He asked Sade to come back in the evening. Her sister-in-law said she had another appointment and would not be able to go with her.

Sade got to the pastor’s home and the wife showed her to the “prayer room”. Then the shock. The pastor made some prayers and told her he needed to anoint her breasts and her v.....a with holy oil.

Sade was appalled and she moved towards the door. That was when she realized that the man had locked it. She appealed to him to unlock the door. The man told her she should not despise him because he was blind. He opened the door after warning her that she would regret it if she told her husband what transpired between them. He said that her husband would never believe that he did not do anything with her and she would end up losing her marriage.

The wife was in the living room all the while.

She had nightmares for months. It turned out the sister-in-law was never pregnant. Sade still wonders why her sister-in-law did that to her.

Let it go.

Unplug.

Don't try to fix what you didn't break.

Start climbing.

Yes, they will.

Loneliness is a constant companion of the widow and the divorcee. One might wonder how that could be; they had friends and families before life happened.

A widow, whose social circle was mainly with other couples while her husband was alive, may find it awkward and painful to be in their midst without her husband. The wives in the group may become uncomfortable with their husbands showing care for the widow.

On the other hand, the widow is also careful in how she relates with her late husband’s friends. There have been cases of some men taking advantage of their friend’s widow. Due to these dynamics, interactions fade over time.

The case of the divorcee is more complicated. She “chose” her path. She “failed”. People do not want to associate with failure. Her married friends may stay away because their husbands do not approve of the friendship anymore, fearing that their wives will be negatively influenced by her. Especially if she is doing well after the divorce.

The struggling widow or the divorcee has different priorities now, especially if she has children to provide for. She may no longer have resources to fund various outings.

A marriage can end. A husband can die. But a woman’s life does not have to die with the marriage.

Do you know a widow or a divorcee you can include in your plan this week?

Move.