Integro

Monday mindset - small steps, steady growth

Hi everyone

When I was recovering from my illness last year, I learned that progress isn't about speed, it's about direction. Some days walking a few times up and down the driveway at home was enough. Other days, I was flat on my back binge-watching episodes of some TV show or other.

It's easy to become frustrated when you feel you aren't moving towards your goals fast enough but consistency beats intensity over the long term. Focusing on one point in time doesn't give you a true picture, zoom out and see the overall landscape.

Try not to be disheartened by setbacks, they will happen. Learn some useful information from them and then move on. Don't berate yourself, you're human and you're doing your best.

Even though progress goes up and down, which I discovered throughout my recuperation - as long as you improve steadily, you will get there in the end.

Take care and I wish you good thinking this week.

Janine x

Stop waiting to feel ready. You won't.

One of the questions I get asked a lot in my coaching practice is how to become more self-confident. And the answer seems counterintuitive.

It feels like you need to try and increase your confidence first, then you'll feel ready to try bold things... but it's actually the other way round.

The single most evidence-backed way to build self-confidence is taking action and accumulating small wins.

Confidence doesn't come from thinking positively about yourself, although that does help! It comes from doing things and seeing that you can handle them.

Each time you try something, succeed (or even just survive failure 😎), your brain updates its belief in your capability. The story you tell yourself shifts.

The cycle looks like: set a small, achievable challenge → do it → feel the proof → raise the bar slightly → repeat.

Over time, that track record becomes evidence that you can trust yourself. And the more you trust yourself, the stronger your self-confidence.

Other things such as affirmations, mindset work, appearance, all definitely help, but nothing replaces the real-life experience of showing up and doing the thing.

An interesting observation

When I was young and in shape, and probably in my prime, looks wise, I often felt quite insecure.

Now that I'm much older, and the body and face have more miles on them, I feel more confident and secure than I ever have.

Anyone else relate to this?

The way the world treats you is in many ways a mirror of the way you treat the world. Barring bad luck incidents, over which we have no control, you get from the external environment what you are putting into it. And you have 100% control over those actions.

Monday reflection

Most people wait for clear skies before they move. The interesting ones move first and let the weather catch up. Certainty is overrated. Direction is enough. Commitment is everything. Make your mark this week.

With a little help from my friends

I caught up with a wonderful friend of mine yesterday for brunch. (I do love me a good brunch!) We were trying to work out when we met each other - and it was way back when we were both working at WelTec in Petone, so over 20 years. Since then a lot has happened in both our lives.

Afterwards, I reflected on how important our friends are in our lives, especially when you move to a new country. They provide support, love, and in many ways become like family, in the absence of loved ones from your country of origin.

On the way home, I found myself thinking of the Beatles song, "With a little help from my friends". Through thick and thin, in good times and bad, friends are like gold dust in one's life. So here's a shout out to all the amazing friends who make other people's lives better just by being themselves. I salute you!

"There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship." - Thomas Aquinas

If you've made it to your 60s, firstly, well done! Darwin would be proud of you. Secondly, don't fret about your age. You've earned every line on your face, scar on your body and story you've survived. Don't yearn for what was but embrace what you are now.