Family Constellations Austin

We will meet this Monday, October 5, starting at 6:00pm, in the Tranquility Room at (Casa de Luz Village, 1701 Toomey Rd, Austin, 78704).

Serving is free. We appreciate your service! Try to come at the beginning (6:00pm) and stay for the whole session (until about 9:00pm), if you can; this creates continuity and cohesiveness for the people constellating and for the group as a whole. But we appreciate you coming for whatever part you can. 🙏🏼

For more information: [email protected]

Family Constellations is a way to heal trauma – from our own lives and inherited from our ancestry.

Trauma can manifest as behavioral problems, addictions, relationship problems, violence, health issues, and much more. The process of Family Constellations allows us to reveal the source of these problems, honor those from whom they came, and let go of what isn’t ours, with honor and without judgment.

The result is not only our own healing, but healing for the whole family system. We are left with compassion and gratitude, allowing us to live our own lives with love and purpose.

In Family Constellations, we can embrace our child selves, let them speak so they are heard, and accept them just as they are: vulnerable, precious, and innocent. We can be for them what our parents couldn’t. 💞

Reposted • 🙏🏼

A child who grows up in an unpredictable home does not simply learn how to behave.

She learns how to scan.

She studies facial expressions.
She listens to footsteps.
She notices the change in someone’s tone.
She learns when to speak, when to disappear, when to apologize, and when to become useful.

That is how hypervigilance can begin.

What adults may later call overthinking, sensitivity, people-pleasing, fear of rejection, or difficulty relaxing may once have been ways a child tried to stay emotionally safe.

When love feels conditional, a child can begin to believe:

If I am good enough, quiet enough, helpful enough, easy enough, maybe I will be safe. Maybe I will be loved.

And those beliefs do not automatically disappear just because the child grows up.

Healing often means returning to that younger version of yourself and teaching her something different:

You do not have to perform for love.
You do not have to anticipate everyone’s needs.
You do not have to make yourself smaller to keep the peace.
You are allowed to have needs, boundaries, feelings, and a voice.

Sometimes reparenting begins with becoming the safe adult your younger self needed all along. 🤍

If we were “parentified” as children, we lost a portion of our childhood. That can show up in adulthood as an inability to show up for our spouse, partner, and even our children. It’s important to heal our child selves! Read on…👇🏼

Reposted • 🙏🏼

Feeling like you’re not a “real adult” has nothing to do with your level of maturity. It is the residue of a developmental rupture that was never repaired.

In psychoanalytic terms, the self-states that were never given safety to unfold remain frozen at the age they were abandoned.

Instead of growing into adulthood, you were prematurely recruited into it, tasked with regulating a parent’s moods or containing their anxiety, even holding the family together.

The ordinary, everyday work of being a child; playing, trusting, creating, imagining and resting, were replaced by the construction of a false self to meet the demands of others.

Now, no matter how competent you are, part of you is still waiting for the moment you finally feel grown.

This is where shadow work begins: by reclaiming the exiled parts of you that never had the chance to grow (your unlived life) so you can inhabit adulthood as your whole self, not a performance.

We will meet this Monday, September 28, starting at 6:00pm, in the Tranquility Room at (Casa de Luz Village, 1701 Toomey Rd, Austin, 78704).

Serving is free. We appreciate your service! Try to come at the beginning (6:00pm) and stay for the whole session (until about 9:00pm), if you can; this creates continuity and cohesiveness for the people constellating and for the group as a whole. But we appreciate you coming for whatever part you can. 🙏🏼

For more information: [email protected]

Family Constellations is a way to heal trauma – from our own lives and inherited from our ancestry.

Trauma can manifest as behavioral problems, addictions, relationship problems, violence, health issues, and much more. The process of Family Constellations allows us to reveal the source of these problems, honor those from whom they came, and let go of what isn’t ours, with honor and without judgment.

The result is not only our own healing, but healing for the whole family system. We are left with compassion and gratitude, allowing us to live our own lives with love and purpose.

There is a whole lot of wisdom here. Read on… 👇🏼
life.navigation 🙏🏼

l always want to give our ancestors a break from the constant scrutiny and judgement of what they did wrong.

There is a magical moment where we grow up and become adults ourselves. In that initiation we are tasked to meet the needs that those around us couldn’t meet.

I want to live in a culture where we support our clients and each other in that, rather than blaming our unsavory behavior and patterns on our parents.

I’m not denying the hell that is abusive parenting or even absent parenting. l’ve experienced it with my own father, and it affected me for many years. But until I left him off the hook and turned the responsibility inwards, I was in a perpetual state of immaturity.

I had to become the father for parts of me that he was unable to father. And by becoming an actual father, I get it now. I get how hard it is to keep your heart open to a child when a man never opened his heart to you.

We will meet this Monday, September 21, starting at 6:00pm, in the Tranquility Room at (Casa de Luz Village, 1701 Toomey Rd, Austin, 78704).

Serving is free. We appreciate your service! Try to come at the beginning (6:00pm) and stay for the whole session (until about 9:00pm), if you can; this creates continuity and cohesiveness for the people constellating and for the group as a whole. But we appreciate you coming for whatever part you can. 🙏🏼

For more information: [email protected]

Family Constellations is a way to heal trauma – from our own lives and inherited from our ancestry.

Trauma can manifest as behavioral problems, addictions, relationship problems, violence, health issues, and much more. The process of Family Constellations allows us to reveal the source of these problems, honor those from whom they came, and let go of what isn’t ours, with honor and without judgment.

The result is not only our own healing, but healing for the whole family system. We are left with compassion and gratitude, allowing us to live our own lives with love and purpose.

This is a powerful documentary showing an extreme example of “parentification”: parents giving their child adult responsibilities that should be done by the parents.

Christina’s mom was born with half of her brain not functioning; had an IQ of about 59; and couldn’t read, drive or handle money. Her dad suffered a brain injury in a motorcycle accident when he was a young adult.

She had to take on adult responsibilities (learning to drive, managing money, earning an income, etc) when she was very young, while also going to school and working full time in high school to help support the family.

Her mom was like a 6-year-old. Her dad’s ability was limited, and he saw his daughter as someone who could fill in where his wife was unable to.

Teachers and other adults in her life mostly had no idea what was going on at home because Christina was so competent – a common trait in parentified kids. 😰

Many of us were parentified in some way while we were growing up. Our parents unconsciously gave us responsibilities that were not appropriate for children – usually because they were overwhelmed, unsupported by the other parent, addicted to drugs or alcohol, and so on – and they could not see what they were doing or didn’t know how to make a different choice.

In any case, we can’t judge them because we did not walk in their shoes and therefore can’t know what it was like for them. But we can change the family legacy and break generational cycles. That’s what we do in Family Constellations. 🙌🏼❤️

“They passed down what helped them survive.” This is so important to understand. What helped them may not be what we need. Read on…

Reposted • .lalitaa 🙏🏼

Before we judge or shame our mothers, remember the world they inherited.

Many were raised to believe that being a “good woman” meant being quiet, agreeable, self-sacrificing, and endlessly giving. They learned that their value lay in what they could endure, not in what they could become. Often this was because they were in survival.

Some carried the weight of immigration, poverty, war, displacement, strict family systems, or emotional neglect. Others spent so long surviving that there was little space left for feeling, dreaming, or asking for more.

They passed down what helped them survive. The silence, the self-sacrifice, the hyper-independence, the people-pleasing, the guilt, the fear, the belief that love meant putting yourself last.

Breaking the cycle isn’t about blaming our mothers. It’s about understanding that what once protected them may no longer protect us. This post is to inform, not to add shame onto the relationship you may hold with your mother.

The greatest way we can honour their sacrifices isn’t by repeating their suffering; it’s by ensuring it ends with us, by choosing a different way of living, by allowing ourselves to be seen instead of staying silent, by setting boundaries instead of abandoning ourselves, by asking for help instead of carrying everything alone, by resting without guilt, by choosing emotionally safe relationships, by trusting our intuition, by believing our needs matter, by taking up space without apology, by showing our children that love doesn’t have to come at the cost of the self.

Healing isn’t a rejection of our mothers. It’s the freedom they deserved too. Do it for you, your younger self, and those that come after us.

Keep shining,
Dr. Lalitaa