Vital-Side

What if crying is actually your body regulating itself?

This is especially important to understand when it comes to our kids. When children have big emotions, their nervous systems can become overwhelmed quickly. Crying can be one way their body releases that activation and begins moving toward a calmer state.

Instead of always trying to stop the tears, we can help our kids feel safe enough to move through the emotion. ❤️

Regulation isn’t about teaching our kids not to have big feelings. It’s about giving their nervous system the safety and tools to process them.

Want to learn practical tools to help your kids regulate? Head to the link to get my free PDF full of tools to help: https://manage.kmail-lists.com/subscriptions/subscribe?a=JJz3Yn&g=RnLbpW&fbclid

We can sometimes put so much pressure on ourselves to be “regulated” that we forget what regulation actually means.

It doesn’t mean you’ll never feel overwhelmed, stressed, emotional, excited, angry, sad, or activated again.

Those experiences are part of being human.

The difference is having more awareness of what is happening in your body and more capacity to move through the experience without getting completely swept away by it.

You start recognizing your patterns.

You learn what helps you come back.

You become more familiar with your body’s signals.

And instead of expecting yourself to stay calm through everything, you learn that you can move through the highs and lows and return to yourself again.

That’s a much more realistic — and compassionate — way to think about regulation. 🤍

If you're ready to start learning tools to help head to the link for my 7-day intro course with practical tools to communicate safety: https://vital-side.com/pages/reset-7-day-course

This is not a post about my breastfeeding journey and how rewarding it has been.

Because it’s not easy…

To constantly produce. To be available at the drop of a hat. To have your body still feel, in so many ways, like it belongs to somebody else.

It can be tiring. All-consuming.

And I feel incredibly grateful that I’ve enjoyed — and continue to enjoy — the experience.

But I am ultimately aware of what breast feeding means on a greater scale (substitute cuddles, hugs, skin-to-skin if breast feeding is unavailable to you):

It is connection. It is regulation.

When he comes to me tired, overwhelmed, exhausted from traveling, dysregulated or simply needing closeness, I can feel his whole body soften.

And there is biology behind that.

A baby’s nervous system is still developing. They aren’t born with the same ability we have as us to independently move themselves from stress back into a state of calm. So much of that regulation happens through relationship — through co-regulation.

And breastfeeding brings so many of those regulating signals together at once.

The warmth of my body. Skin-to-skin contact. My voice. The rhythm. Being held closely.

Touch, warmth and close contact are associated with the oxytocin system — sometimes described as part of the body’s “calm and connection” response — while skin-to-skin contact has been associated with changes in cortisol, heart-rate variability and autonomic nervous-system activity.

In other words, when he feeds, his body isn’t simply receiving nutrition. It is receiving cues of safety.

And over time, these repeated experiences of being soothed by another person are part of how children gradually develop their own capacity for regulation.

So yes, breastfeeding can be exhausting. Sometimes I am touched out. Sometimes I want my body to myself.

And two things can be true at once:
I can acknowledge what breastfeeding asks of me… while also appreciating what these moments give to him.

Because one day he won’t need my body to find his calm.

But right now, sometimes, I get to be the place where his nervous system feels safe enough to soften.

What’s your experience with skin-to-skin, breastfeeding, or baby cuddles?

What if healing isn’t about convincing yourself that you’re safe?

What if it’s about repeatedly giving your nervous system evidence of safety?

Our bodies learn through experience and repetition. That means part of the process is learning to recognize what helps your body feel more settled, supported, and safe — and then practicing those experiences consistently.

Sometimes that means slowing down. Sometimes it means creating boundaries, getting enough rest, moving your body, connecting with safe people, or learning simple tools that help your nervous system shift out of a stress response.

Your priority doesn’t have to be “How do I make myself feel better?”

It can start with: “What helps my body feel safe?” 🤍

Want simple tools to get started?

Head to the link for our 7-Day Reset, our intro course designed to teach you simple nervous system regulation tools in 7 days.

https://vital-side.com/pages/reset-7-day-course

Sometimes healing isn’t about trying harder.

It’s not about forcing your body to change, pushing through symptoms, or constantly searching for the next thing to fix.

It’s about asking:

What is my body experiencing right now?

What signals am I giving my nervous system?

What am I consuming, doing, feeling, and surrounding myself with?

Our bodies are constantly responding to our internal and external environments.

So instead of fighting your body into healing, what if you started creating an environment where your body could experience more safety, regulation, and support?

That shift in perspective was a huge part of my own healing journey and it’s at the heart of the work I teach through Vital-Side.

Head to the link for my 7-day intro course with practical tools to communicate safety: https://vital-side.com/pages/reset-7-day-course

This is something I wish I understood sooner.

For a long time, I thought healing meant finding the right thing to do—the right food, supplement, routine, treatment, or protocol.

And yes, those things can matter.

But I eventually started asking a different question:

What state is my body living in while I’m asking it to heal?

When your body has been living with stress, fear, overwhelm, exhaustion, or constantly feeling like it needs to be on alert, simply adding more things to your “healing checklist” may not be the whole picture.

For me, learning about the nervous system changed the way I looked at my healing journey.

It helped me understand that healing could also mean creating more safety, slowing down, listening to my body, and learning to work with it instead of constantly fighting against it.

I share more about my story, what I learned along the way, and the things that helped me begin looking at healing differently in my free guide.

💛 If this resonates with you, head to the link and hear my story and grab my free guide: https://manage.kmail-lists.com/subscriptions/subscribe?a=JJz3Yn&g=YzQgiL

Hot take: you can’t supplement your way out of a nervous system that constantly feels unsafe.

You can have the perfect supplement stack, the cleanest diet, and every lab-tested protocol…

…but if your brain and body are continually interpreting life as a threat, your body may stay stuck in a state of protection.

Supplements can support the body. Food can support the body. But they aren’t a substitute for helping your nervous system feel safe.

Sometimes the missing piece isn’t another supplement.

It’s teaching your body that it doesn’t have to be in survival mode anymore. 🧠

Want to begin that process? Start with Reset. Learn practical tools to help your nervous system move toward safety and regulation.

https://vital-side.com/pages/reset-7-day-course