Emily Martyak

We’ve heard testimony about profound insomnia, depression, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, suicidal ideation, and concerns about medication effects. We’ve heard about repeated medication changes. We’ve heard testimony exposing gaps in communication between the people and institutions responsible for treating her.

None of that becomes irrelevant based on what you believe happened on January 24th. None of it.

A postpartum mother was profoundly mentally ill. She sought help. She had access to providers, insurance, a supportive family, and some of the most respected medical institutions in the country, and she still fell through enormous holes in our mental health system.

That should terrify us.

We can discuss the evidence and who is legally responsible without allowing speculation to erase the very real conversation happening in front of us about maternal mental health care.

Three babies are dead. There is nothing irrelevant about asking whether there were opportunities for our healthcare system to recognize that something was terribly wrong before we ever got to January 24th. We have to question and examine so we can try to prevent it from ever happening again.

This conversation extremely important regardless of the verdict in this trial, and I absolutely refuse to let it get buried under wild conspiracy theories.

We have a kind of love
that reaches places
nothing else could seem to reach.

Your love says,
I see you.
I know you.
I have been paying attention.

You have shown me
that every part of me is worthy,
not just the parts
I’m willing to show the world.

The tender places.
The pieces of me
I learned to carry quietly.

The darkness I felt
I needed to bury away.
To fix.
To supplement.
To medicate.
To never let see the light.

And you said,
Show me.
I’ll hold the candle.

And suddenly,
the parts of me
I was most afraid to uncover
were being held
instead of hidden.

The too much.
The too messy.
The too broken.

You walked into the darkness
to find me.

You held the candle
so I didn’t have to find
my way out alone.

And you loved me there
until, somehow,
I realized,

you had led me
all the way
into the light.

Thank you to my husband for seeing me. Knowing me. And loving me. Another year around the sun has reminded me just how much you’ve helped me bask in it.

If a consistent pattern of cyclical psychiatric exacerbation could be established, it could provide additional clinical context supporting the defense’s argument that Lindsay may have been experiencing psychosis and lacked criminal responsibility on January 24.

This is a retrospective analysis based on publicly available information and trial testimony, not a diagnosis or a claim that ovarian cyclicity has been established in Lindsay’s case.

Lindsay Clancy was a cycling postpartum woman and her treatment should have reflected it.

Questions I’m Hoping Can Be Clarified Through the Trial:

1. Had Lindsay’s ovarian cycling resumed postpartum? If so, when?
2. When did Lindsay reduce or stop breastfeeding? Was she exclusively breastfeeding, pumping, or combo feeding?
3. Do her records contain any postpartum menstrual dates or a documented last menstrual period?
4. Was Lindsay taking hormonal birth control postpartum? If so, what type, and when was it started or stopped?
5. Was Lindsay ever asked whether her psychiatric symptoms occurred or worsened at predictable times in relation to her reproductive cycle?
6. Was premenstrual exacerbation (PME) ever considered?
7. What were Lindsay’s premenstrual symptoms like before pregnancy? Was a history of cyclical psychiatric symptoms ever assessed?
8. Was PMDD considered in the differential, particularly when bipolar II disorder was being considered?
9. Which DSM was being used when Lindsay was diagnosed: DSM-IV/DSM-IV-TR, DSM-5, or DSM-5-TR? And what explains the use of “chronic” in her diagnoses?
10. Were reproductive mood disorders or reproductive psychiatric factors ever considered when evaluating the significant ebb and flow of Lindsay’s symptoms?
11. If Lindsay’s symptoms had been mapped against her reproductive cycle, would a pattern have emerged, and could identifying that pattern have helped her care team anticipate when her symptoms were most likely to worsen?

“I should have done more.”

We all should. We all can.

Mental illness doesn’t just affect the person experiencing it. It ripples through marriages, children, entire families, communities. We cannot keep expecting families to carry situations that require systems of support far bigger than any one spouse, family, etc. could provide.

And we cannot keep waiting until tragedy happens to ask what everyone should have done differently. To find out that so many things were missed along the way.

How many more women and men have to die? How many more children have to die?

How many more families have to be destroyed before we wake the f*ck up?

If you don’t know the standard of care or the care you can ask for, you don’t know the care you deserve.

Dr. Jennifer Tufts diagnosed Lindsay Clancy with generalized anxiety disorder and adjustment disorder with depressed mood at her initial appointment and prescribed sertraline.

The diagnostic criteria for generalized anxiety disorder specifically require that they rule out that the presenting symptoms or disturbance “not be attributable to the physiological effects of a substance or medication, or another medical condition”

Hyperthyroidism is explicitly given as an example. And many of Lindsay’s symptoms postpartum aligned with presenting thyroid dysfunction.

It is clearly delineated to rule out for a medical condition in the diagnostic criteria psychiatrists use to make this diagnosis.

And yet, according to Dr. Tufts’ testimony, no lab work was ordered because it was deemed “not necessary.” And according to testimony from Dr. Alia Goodheart there was not even a TSH on file from that year or even the previous year.

This was a failure. And it is a continued failure of struggling women within this system.

What did they miss in Lindsay?

I only covered the tip of the iceberg here. Thyroid dysfunction, nutrient deficiencies, metabolic conditions, autoimmune disease, neurological conditions, medication effects and more can cause, contribute to, or overlap with psychiatric symptoms.

That does not mean Lindsay Clancy had an undiagnosed medical condition. It means that dismissing medical investigation because someone’s symptoms appear “psychiatric” fundamentally misses the point of a differential diagnosis.

The brain is part of the body. We have to stop treating it like it isn’t.

Medical disclaimer: This content is for educational purposes only and is not medical advice. I am not claiming Lindsay Clancy had an undiagnosed medical condition. Appropriate medical evaluation and testing are individualized and should be determined by a qualified healthcare provider.