Sebastian Lightfoot

Welcoming the changing seasons and watching this boy grow up. And yes, I had a talk with him about kindergarten PDA with his first girlfriend. 😂

April showers.

Chicago always brings back memories. Thankful for good friends, my son, my health, courteous airplane neighbors, empty gyms and my sobriety.

This is 39. I feel younger, stronger, healthier, safer, better, more motivated, more determined, more resilient, more faithful and more productive than I’ve ever felt in my life. But this is real life and I still struggle to shake grief and loss that runs deep. But even that I’m thankful for. Grateful for the gift to feel it all - the good and the bad. If you’re thankful - thank the chef; If you’re grateful - do the dishes. The work is never done, but grateful to have more work to do.

Four months of training with only one day a week for a one hour session. I went on a mission nine months ago to change my entire life. Quit drinking, re-worked my diet, my hobbies, my life, lost weight and introduced real exercise back into my life. Quitting one habit is one thing, but having the discipline to change your eating and exercise habits is a whole other world. In addiction therapy they say “all you have to change is everything” and I ran with that in the most literal sense. Quitting drinking gave me the discipline to do all the rest and I wouldn’t have ever been able to do this had I not taken that first big step. Now I thoroughly enjoy this new lifestyle. Constantly trying to be better than you were the day before is about as fulfilling as it gets, but getting to see the progress first-hand makes it all so much more gratifying. Pushing 40 years old and I’ve ever felt or looked better. My entire energy has changed for the better and though I say I wish I’d done it sooner, I don’t care..I’m just happy I did it. I couldn’t imagine living the rest of my life the way I was living it. It was hardly living - quite the opposite actually. But reaching out to Ethan was the best move I could have made to really see and feel progress. I was working out but didn’t realize that I was doing almost every single movement incorrectly and working muscle groups that weren’t intended to be worked. Ethan changed my diet on the first day and corrected myths that people spread all the time about how to eat well. I thought carbs were a bad word when carbs are king for energy, glycogen stores and muscle growth (protein too obviously) He tells me what to do and I do it, no questions asked. This guy knows his stuff and I’m thankful I got the best in the business in this time of growth. These before and afters are only four months apart and I can’t wait to see what they look like four months and four years for now.

It’s been a time of change, strength, growth, perseverance and adaptation. In a world riddled with judgment, it almost feels impossible to be allowed to be yourself. I’ve never had a problem being myself and it’s something I won’t ever apologize for ever again for the rest of my life. I’ve been reprimanded for being “too open” about my own life or struggles but I’ll tell you right now that the vulnerability from others is exactly what reminded me of the things I recognized in them that needed to be changed in myself - or I would die. Had others not allowed themselves to be seen and had I listened to those who told me to shut my mouth, I wouldn’t have a pulse today. Yeah, I post a lot of gym selfies these days and talk about overcoming addiction, but you probably would too if you were proud that you literally changed every single thing about your life for the better. It’s been hard and it’s been sad, but it’s been way more overwhelmingly positive, encouraging and enlightening. I share these things for myself because I’m proud, but I also share for the countless people who message me in private and are now doing the same exact thing that I did and am doing. Long and short of this, do whatever the f**k you want to do. Don’t listen to anybody else. If you’re doing the right thing and it’s positive and moves you forward, absolutely do it and don’t take no for an answer. Anyone judging you for doing the right thing is probably jealous or a complete and total loser. 8.5 months and I’ve lost 30 pounds of fat, gained 20 pounds of muscle, been sober from any and all substances, started a business, been a present father, #1 in Hanzo, worked my program daily, have a relationship with my God and have been a better friend and support for anyone and everyone in my life - and we’re just getting started.

You sleep so sound with your mind made up
Drinking from your cup of broken ends
With a silver crystal lung
How well you use to know how to shine
In a place that’s safe from heart
But I had been blessed with a wilder mind
You can be every little thing you want nobody to know
And you can try to drown out the street below
And you can call it love
If you want
But I thought we believed
In an endless love

‘Cause our bond’s eternal
So is love
God is inside you
All around you
And up above
Knowing
Showing you the way
Time slips away
Skies fall apart
Revealing to all
A universal heart
Glowing
Flowing
All around you

You got a great big new promotion
But now you travel so damn much
It’s like our studio apartment is just a place to keep your stuff
And when you’re away, I walk around in a haze
Reminiscing the days, first moving in with you
I have so much to tell ya
Please come back to Philadelphia
This place ain’t the same without you Anna

There’s going to be times that I gotta go away
But don’t worry baby I’ll come home
Out on the road is where I’m going to find my way
But I’ll always find the time when I’m alone
So forgive me if sometimes I seem a little crazy
But god damn, sometimes crazy is how I feel
And my brain is starting to swirl
Down the drain of this old world
And there’s only one thing girl I know is real
It’s the love that I feel in your arms
It’s the glow you wear around you like a charm
It’s the tender in your eyes
That keeps me safe and warm at night
From this life