Mindfully Modern Collective

New here? Let’s fix that.

I’m Ilene. Twenty years as a licensed counselor. I built a seven-figure practice, sold it, and rebuilt something that actually fits who I am now.

These days I work with ambitious women and founders on the stuff nobody names directly: the gap between what your life looks like and what you actually want it to feel like.

Coaching, RESET Breathwork, Reiki Energy Healing. Science-backed, Soul-led.

Follow along, this is where I actually talk about it.

Being scared doesn’t necessarily mean you’re making the wrong choice. It usually means something meaningful is at stake.

And there’s a difference between being reckless and making a thoughtful decision that comes with some risk.

If you’re standing at the edge of a change right now, ask yourself what you’re more afraid of: taking the leap, or looking back one day and realizing you stayed where it was safe.

If you’re ready to make a change and feel more purpose, connection, direction and self-trust reach out for a consult.

Every emotion in this reel is carrying information.
Even the really uncomfortable ones.

They’re a compass, and you can start by asking, “What is this trying to tell me?” “What do you need me to know?”

Listening comes first.

When you skip the curiosity part, the message doesn’t disappear. It gets louder, or it shows up later in your body, your sleep, or a decision you didn’t feel sure about.

Once you’ve heard what an emotion is saying, you get to choose what to do with it. Sometimes that means acting on it. Sometimes it means letting it move through you. Sometimes it means engaging in self-compassion or self-trust so it stops running the show.

Your body often knows and registers signals before your brain does… take the time to listen.

Nobody told me breathwork would be the thing that finally cracked open a room full of attorneys. 😉

I was invited to speak at a wellness retreat for female litigation attorneys at The Ritz Carlton Palm Springs. My topic was happiness outside of career success. Because ambition is not the same as fully alive.

During my talk, I guided two exercise to get real and embody what they each individually align with and deeply value. The room got very still and clarity happened.

Later, I held a RESET Breathwork Journey with Reiki energy healing. Stress and anxiety was put down. Physical pain left bodies. Life-changing epiphanies happened. 💫❤️

I left Palm Springs fulfilled and on a high I’m still riding.

If you’re a business, law firm, wellness event, or retreat looking for a speaker or breathwork facilitator who creates real transformation in the room — I’m your person. I’d love to support you and your team.

And to learn more about my private 6 month coaching container for ambitious women who know something needs to change… don’t worry, you get to keep your ambition) Slide into my DMs. I would love to connect.

Part 2. The thing that happened is the pain. What you do with it is the suffering.

The loss hurts. The ending hurts. That part isn’t optional and it’s part of the journey.

But the replaying, the should haves, the story about what this says about you... that’s what keeps it going long after the event is over.

Here are 4 ways to work with that piece:

Stop avoiding it. The more you push away the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, the more they run in the background. Unresolved emotion doesn’t disappear. It shows up later, often in the body.

Watch how you’re assigning it. Internalizing sounds like “what’s wrong with me.” Externalizing takes the context and other people into consideration which decreases shame and suffering.

Self-compassion. Be as kind and understanding with yourself as you’d be with someone you love. We’re so much harder on ourselves. A good check: what would you say to a 10 year old, or to your best friend?

Acceptance. Not being happy about it. Accepting the reality of what’s happening, including the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings that come with it. When you swim with the tide instead of against it, things get easier.

Whether it’s a marriage ending, a career, or something you haven’t named yet, the four are the same.

These take practice. Follow for more of the stuff nobody explains.

Part 2. The thing that happened is the pain. What you do with it is the suffering.

The loss hurts. The ending hurts. The thing that didn’t turnout right. That part isn’t optional and it isn’t a problem to solve.

But the replaying, the should haves, the story about what this says about you… that’s what keeps it going long after the event is over.

Here are 4 ways to work with that piece:

Don’t engage in avoidance. The more you push away the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, the more they run in the background. Unresolved emotion doesn’t disappear. It shows up later, often in the body.

Watch how you’re assigning it. Internalizing sounds like “what’s wrong with me.” Which keeps you in shame. Make sure there’s a balance of appropriate accountability and also taking into account the context and other factors.

Self-compassion. Be as kind and understanding with yourself as you’d be with someone you love. We’re so much harder on ourselves. A good check: what would you say to a 10 year old, or to your best friend?

Acceptance. This doesn’t mean you’re happy about it. Here this means accepting the reality of what’s happening, including the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings that come with it. When you swim with the tide instead of against it, things get easier.

Whether it’s a marriage ending, a career, or something you haven’t named yet, the four skills work together to help you get to the other side.

These take practice. Follow for more or reach out if you’d like more support.

When I woke up at 2am with my mind already running, here’s what I did.

I had to tell my nervous system it was safe.

1. Don’t reach for your phone. Light will tell your brain it’s time to be awake.
2. Breath in through your nose for 4 counts. Hold for 7 counts and exhale through your mouth for 8, slow and controlled. Let it be longer than the inhale, that’s what shifts you out of fight-or-flight.

4. Repeat for 10-20 rounds… or as long as you need to.

A couple of notes:

The exhale is the whole thing. That’s where the nervous system downshifts.

If your mind keeps grabbing at the thought loop, that’s normal. Come back to the breath, not the thought.

Placing a hand over your heart mimics co-regulation and
the physical warmth and gentle pressure signals safety to your nervous system.