The Paper Machete

You know the old saying: A spoonful of sugar helps the Malört go down.

And speaking of sugar, dig this sweet lineup...

📸: Sarah Elizabeth Larson

This ass-kicking assembly put it all on the table. We’re STILL picking our jaws up off the floor.

📸: Sarah Elizabeth Larson

This is not AI: Machete favorite John McCombs guest hosts this weekend.

And with this many killers in tow it’s possible someone will go prison.

📸: Sarah Elizabeth Larson

And THAT’S how you crush a Saturday! Another hell yeah for last week’s killer cast.

📸: Sarah Elizabeth Larson

We offered a $5,000 cash stipend to any member of Trump’s cabinet, press office, extended family, medical team or fantasy football league who was willing to appear in tomorrow’s show and defend the President’s proposed 5K “Trump dividends.”

Literally everyone said no. So this crew will have to do...

📸: Sarah Elizabeth Larson

There’s no back-to-school for a show that never breaks. Nevertheless, last Saturday’s cast ACED it.

📸: Sarah Elizabeth Larson

We tried to get the U.S. Secretary of Labor to headline tomorrow’s Labor Day show, but her team says she’s quiet quitting.

Instead, we booked Laguna Beach’s Secretary of Malort Shots, which is *probably* an upgrade....

📸: Sarah Elizabeth Larson

A week that took a lot met a cast that showed up fully. Thanks to this crew for helping us close out summer.

📸: Sarah Elizabeth Larson

Tomorrow we raise a glass, lift an eyelid, pack a bunch of f**king tissues and maybe even a bra as we say goodnight to the Queen of Country.

Plus a lineup of comedians so funny even Mitch McConnell might LOL later when Palantir shares the recording with him...

📸: Sarah Elizabeth Larson

This cast deserves another full-throated HELL YEAH!

📸: Sarah Elizabeth Larson