The Radiant Life Project

Might seem low-key toxic & not a huge deal, but these unhealthy behaviors sink deeply into your psyche and wreak havoc on your health and mental health, your relationships with others, and your connection to yourself — especially if they happen repeatedly and without repair.

Keep a lookout for:
🔴 Gossip: poisoning the well of how others see and perceive a situation by coloring their perception
🔴 The “I only hurt you because I love you” narrative.
🔴 Forcing someone to choose sides in an “us vs. them” mentality
🔴 Favoritism & Scapegoating
🔴 Looking the other way: not protecting or standing up for those being harmed
🔴 Intentionally omitting pieces of the Truth that you know would change everything if it were revealed
🔴 Requiring that someone make a promise they don’t want to make to avoid a threat

💬What would you add? Comment below…

Toxic relationships happen in families, at work, in partnership, and in friendship. Regardless of how long someone has known you, how close they are to you, or in what ways you depend on them — no one has the right to harm you.

📖💥 - Here’s the book you’ve been looking for: “Mend or Move On” will help you.
💥💥💥Find it here: https://linktr.ee/theradiantlifeproject

PS: follow me at Kate King | Psychological Advisor | Author for help escaping from toxic relationships of all kinds: family, partnership, friendship, & professional. You do deserve better.

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Toxic relationships take their toll, but when you heal it’s perceptible.
✨Confusion lifts and clarity sets in. You’re no longer foggy about what happened, who is at fault, or whether you’re making it all up.
✨You can talk about what happened without breaking down, spiraling out, and sobbing
✨Your body feels healthier: jaw unclenches, muscular knots loosen, tummy trouble eases, skin conditions fade
✨You return to parts of yourself you had forgotten or masked away because of your trauma: like your humor, willingness to be vulnerable, adventurousness, curiosity
✨You feel compelled to help and/or protect others who may be going through what you went through. There’s a service element to your healing.
✨Avoidance and denial are gone. You now give (and take) accountability where it’s due, and no longer defend how your abuser(s) behaved.
✨You return to life in big and little ways: enjoying the taste of food, colors are amazing, you buy yourself flowers, you travel, new relationships bloom.

💥📖 - “Mend or Move On” is the book that will help you.
💥💥💥Find it here: https://linktr.ee/theradiantlifeproject

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Abusive, toxic, dysfunctional mother? Here’s what this type of mother tends to develop in her children — commonly daughters:

1️⃣ A copy of themselves:
If the nervous system of the child does not have the inner strength and resourcing to stand up against the dysfunction, it ultimately might learn that it’s safer to join it and mimic it for belonging and love. This is a strategy that often works to gain belonging & love, but because it’s transactional and conditional upon compliance, the love is not stable. Deep down this child always knows that the love they’re gaining is conditional and can be lost.

2️⃣ A complete change maker:
If the child has the inner resources and strength, or the external support from people outside of the dysfunctional relationship, to stand up against the dysfunction and resist joining it. These children often end up as scapegoats, black sheep, or disruptors of the family. On the surface, it might look like they are problematic, but actually they are the solution because they refuse to buy into the toxic energy and be anything like it.

⭐️If you are an adult daughter of a toxic mother, please know that it’s ok if you’ve become either of these two options - one is not good/right and the other bad/wrong. They are both adaptive responses to being raised by a toxic, dysfunctional, mother. And yes - you can shift from one to the other. No state is permanent.

Regardless of what your mother has instilled in you, as an adult you can heal these patterns. If you need to bring a therapist on board, don’t hesitate.
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💥📖 My book will help with your most challenging relationships, check out “Mend or Move On”
➡️➡️ ORDER: https://linktr.ee/theradiantlifeproject

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Growing up in an abusive, toxic household affects you deeply and shapes the person you become.

Depending on your individual nervous system and the experiences you’ve been through in your life, you will respond uniquely to a chaotic or dysfunctional system.

✔️ Very sensitive, fragile nervous systems that do not feel supported or resourced may become carbon copies of the adults who raised them. This means taking on the same dysfunction that they see in their parents. It is an effort toward belonging that is deeply unconscious — something along the lines of “if you can’t change them, join them.“

✔️ Another variation that can happen to sensitive, fragile nervous systems that don’t sense safety in their relationships is that they can become placating, fawning, and people pleasing. In this case, the perspective is more about keeping the peace and keeping people from being angry or upset with them in order to earn or gain safety and love.

✔️ In other cases when people have a more hearty or resilient nervous system, or strong support outside of the dysfunction, they can stand up against toxic and unhealthy dynamics, and resist them. This can often create adults who have become opposite of those who raised them, although in childhood they can look very much like the problem child, black sheep, or scapegoat.

Your earliest relationships shape you in ways that you may or may not be aware of. So much conditioning is unconscious and deeply embedded in the blueprint of how you see yourself & safety in your relationships and the world.

The good news is it’s never too late to rewire these patterns and develop a healthier sense of self and connection to others. Therapy is great for this, as are other self reflective and personal growth methods.

📖For help with your most challenging relationships, check out my new book “Mend or Move On”
💥💥💥ORDER NOW: https://linktr.ee/theradiantlifeproject

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Another 💥powerful💥 conversation about getting out from under those tough, toxic relationships. This episode is from the ADHD ReWired Podcast. I hope you enjoy!

➡️➡️We talk about my book “Mend or Move On” a lot in this conversation. Order here: https://linktr.ee/theradiantlifeproject

Mend or Move On - Navigating Toxic Relationships (ep 567) Mend or Move On? Navigating Toxic Relationships with Kate King (567) Kate King shares seven traps that keep people stuck in toxic relationships—and how to decide whether to mend, set boundaries, or move on.