SAFE Center

Maybe it’s time we stop teaching people how to avoid being r**ed—and start teaching people not to r**e.

This meme has been circulating for years, and its message is simple: turn the conversation around.

Instead of asking potential victims what they could have done differently, let’s talk about the choices made by the person committing the assault.

Don’t drug someone’s drink.
Don’t take advantage of someone who is intoxicated or unconscious.
Don’t mistake flirting for consent.
Don’t interpret someone’s clothing as an invitation.
Don’t assume you’re entitled to someone’s body.
And if you see someone in a vulnerable situation, be the person who intervenes—not the person who takes advantage.

With the recent national attention surrounding allegations of sexual assault involving a former Cornell student, conversations about consent, accountability, and bystander intervention are once again happening publicly.

Those conversations matter.

Because sexual assault isn’t caused by what someone wore, how much they drank, where they went, who they went home with, or whether they fought back.

The responsibility for sexual assault belongs to the person who commits it.

And when someone tells us they’ve been assaulted, perhaps our first questions shouldn’t be:

Why were you there?
Why did you drink?
Why didn’t you leave?

They should be:

“Are you safe?”
“I believe you.”
“How can I help?”

At SAFE Center of Iowa, we believe education is part of prevention—and consent, accountability, and bystander intervention belong in that conversation.

The person responsible for sexual assault is the person who commits it.

SAFE Center

Thank you - We hope to see you all again next year for the Survivors' Solidarity March 🎗️💙🎗💜🎗🤍

💜 Thank you for standing in solidarity with survivors.

We are so grateful to everyone who joined us for the National Survivors' Solidarity March event and helped make the day meaningful. Your presence, support, and willingness to stand together send an important message to survivors in our community: you are seen, you are heard, and you are not alone.

An incredible thanks to our panelist who played a critical role in sharing information with our community. The feedback was phenomenal and we are deeply honored to have your partnership and support State Rep. Rob JohnsonMike Bousselot for Iowa SenateMatt McCoyPolk County Sheriff's Office, IowaPolk County IowaBrandon BracelinThe Lighthouse FoundationCaleb Byers

An additional enormous thanks to the two who volunteered their skills with a fantastic opportunity for survivors to be able to experience Sound Baths and Breath Work. Your generosity to support survivors and our work is valued beyond what we say. Van Gundy Davel Patel

A special thank you to the National Women’s Defense League for supporting this meaning movement and for seeking out Safe Center of Iowa as a partner and giving us the opportunity to come together in support of survivors. We are grateful for the connection and for the work being done to build stronger communities of support.

Together, we can continue creating spaces where survivors feel supported, respected, and welcome.

The second hour on September 26 is for rest. From 11:00 a.m. to noon, choose one of two wellness sessions: a sound bath led by Kristin Van Gundy, or breath work led by Davel Patel. Both sessions help build resilience and support personal wellbeing. Come for the whole morning or come for this hour. Polk County River Place, Conference Room 1, 2309 Euclid Avenue, Des Moines.

Today, 10:00 a.m. to noon, at Polk County River Place, Conference Room 1, 2309 Euclid Avenue, Des Moines. A panel of survivors, an advocate, and community leaders, then a sound bath or breath work. Everyone is welcome. Alone we are drops, together we are a wave.

This Saturday, September 26, from 10:00 a.m. to noon, SAFE Center of Iowa and the National Women's Defense League host a day of solidarity for survivors of sexual assault, domestic violence, and human trafficking. A panel and a Q&A first, then a sound bath or breath work. Polk County River Place, Conference Room 1, 2309 Euclid Avenue, Des Moines. Come as you are, and bring someone who would want to be there with you.

Stand with Survivors Saturday, Sept. 26 - 10 AM to Noon