Have you Not Read

The Real Number One Cause of Divorce.

Studies always list the number one cause of divorce as either financial or infidelity. I disagree. I believe that the number one cause by far is the lack of a Christian marriage and an understanding of what that means. This is not a jab at non Christians, because it is nearly as prevalent with Christians; Christians who have never been taught what a Christian marriage entails.

You often hear excuses like “I fell out of love” or “our marriage grew stale”. One spouse will blame the other for their actions. But these are merely symptoms of that lacking.

You don’t fall out of love. You do fall out of infatuation. That’s because you are supposed to fall out of infatuation. That’s the place where true love can grow. Don’t get me wrong. The infatuation stage is great! All mushy sweet and deliriously magical. It’s the childhood of your relationship where everything is fun and games. But just like childhood, we must grow up and mature. Maturing isn’t always fun, but it’s where we go from superficial, to a deep, abiding love and relationship.

Love at this new stage can be tough, absolutely. No longer are we so swept away that flaws and habits don’t matter. Now our feet are back on the ground and we see our partner as they are, flaws and all. It can be a shocking, even frightening realization if we haven’t been prepared. That’s where a Christian marriage comes in. The good news is that even the non Christian can mimic it (though it is harder).

Throughout history, marriages weren’t based on infatuation or even love. They were usually arranged. Sometimes the couple might get lucky and have their marriage arranged with the one they loved. But usually, it was arranged with who the father thought could best provide or which spouse’s name and status best helped out their family’s standing. So without the initial infatuation and subsequent love, how did any marriage ever survive? The answer really, is simple: choice.

You see, the love it takes for a marriage to survive is not a feeling at all. It effects your feelings in profound ways, but in itself, it’s a choice. You see, you WILL fall out of infatuation (what some mistake for love). There WILL BE seasons where things slow down and may seem stale. There WILL BE times where every day things like finances seem overwhelming. And yes, your spouse WILL change, both physically and in personality as they too move from their infatuation into love. If that mushy feeling is all that you based your marriage upon, you will be in trouble.

This is where the Christian marriage comes in to play. Those arranged marriages lasted because they understood that true, abiding love is a choice! They CHOSE to love their spouse if for no other reason than that they were married.

You see, I don’t love my wife because of some feeling. I, like every other married person, have down days. Days where everything feels ho hum. Days where I miss that young, hot girl I married. The one who flirted with me and made me feel more than I am. And if we are truly honest, there may be days where I don’t even like her that much. But here’s the secret to not giving in to the lies that our marriage is in trouble:

I CHOOSE, EVERY DAY to love my wife.

I love her not because she makes me feel a certain way. Not because she fulfills some need or desire of mine. I love her BECAUSE she is my wife. I CHOOSE to love my wife despite all the world may tell me, despite the loss of my initial infatuation, despite any trouble we may be going through and I do so because that’s the promise I made.

To take it one step further, my wife is not my friend. I’ve had friends. I’ve had best friends. We’ve lost touch, moved on. That’s what time does and what time will do to your spouse if they too are your friend. No, see, in a Christian marriage, you are to keep your spouse as holy. Now, that word “holy” sounds very churchy. But it doesn’t have to be. The word “holy” simply means to be set aside and kept as special. Your spouse is not your friend, but something far greater. They are taken out of the realm of a mere friend and set off by themselves on a much higher plane than anyone else.

The love you have for a friend requires constant choices. How far will I actually go to support them? Will I be behind them even when I know they’re wrong? Will I forgive them when they wrong me? However, the love you have for your spouse only requires one: will you love them today, regardless, BECAUSE they are your spouse?

The difference comes in where the questions begin.

Q: “Will I love my spouse after the infatuation ends”
1. it depends on what they are like at that time.
2. Yes, because they’re my spouse

Q: “Will I love my spouse when things seem stale?”
1. yeah, but I may flirt around and see if I can find just a little piece of that freshness to keep me going.
2. Yes, because they’re my spouse

Q: “Will I love my spouse when temptation arises?”
1. yes, but what if I just push the line a little bit as long as it doesn’t go too far.
2. Yes, because they’re my spouse

Q: “Will I forgive my spouse if they hurt me?”
1. It depends
2. Yes, because they’re my spouse

Do you get the difference? If you wake up every day and choose your spouse, even if the magic is missing, even if you’re having problems, even if they’ve done something wrong, but you have chosen them, made them holy in your life and decided that ’today I choose to love, honor and commit myself to my spouse alone’, that is the when you are able to leave the infatuation stage and enter into true love. A love that will last through better or worse, richness or poorness, sickness or health.

In His service… Arthur Smith

AFTERWARDS
I know some will complain of the lack of Scripture in this post. There is much Scripture that will both confirm this as well as help you to follow it. I did not include them here because even though this is much easier to do with God’s help, the same principle of choosing to love your spouse daily, can be used by non Christians as well. So I purposely left out what they would not hear in the hopes they will hear the rest.

Here’s another one I’ll have to move to notes eventually. It’s a highly controversial one with something for most people to disagree strongly with. So enjoy!

The Pre, Mid, Post Tribulation Rapture

The first part of Scripture that really caught my attention was end time prophecy. I was open to whatever as I was young and hadn’t formed an opinion. The problem was, I knew Scripture couldn’t be wrong nor contradict itself. Yet the more I studied, the more I saw Scripture pointing to all three positions. For example...

Pre-Tribulation

Revelation 3:10 - we are spared from the hour of testing
Revelation 4:1 - the command is given for us to “Come up here”
Revelation 4:4-10 - the saints already have their crowns

Mid-Tribulation
Matthew 24:29-31 “Immediately after the anguish of those days...” yet before the 2nd Coming.
Revelation 6:9 those slain for the Lord are already in His presence asking how long He will let the Tribulation go on.
Revelation 7:9 shows a great multitude of saints (as in all Christians are saints, not just the ones deemed by the Catholic Church - Rev 14:12, 1 Cor 1:2, ) standing before the throne, yet there are still seven trumpets yet to come.

Post-Tribulation
1 Thessalonians 4:15-17 says we will be caught up at Christ’s 2nd coming
1 Corinthians 15:5 days after the last Trumpet
John 6:40 - “and I will raise them up the last day.”

I could continue with several more for each, but you get the drift. These all can’t be true. Or can they?

When you read the accounts of tribulation, Scripture refers to them in three ways. Most the time it speaks of tribulations we will all have during life. So, ignoring that one, the rest speak of a time of great tribulation or the Great Tribulation. That’s two ways, so where’s the third? But wait! What if those last two are not the same?

What if the times of great tribulation are separate from the Great Tribulation? If those two events are indeed two separate events, all Scripture suddenly drops into place. The rapture would then happen POST times of great tribulation, PRE Great Tribulation and MID way between the two.

This view leaves one catch which are the verses saying clearly the rapture will occur at Christ’s second coming. But again back to Scripture, 1 Thessalonians 4:17 (and Daniel 7:13, Matthew 24:30, Revelation 1:7) says that Christ will return in the clouds, not physically to earth. However other verses clearly say to the earth (Zechariah 14:3-4, Acts 1:9-12). Again, making these two separate events solves the problem.

Other than that, this view has to explain the verses pointing to the trumpet or last trumpet. But the Scriptures that comment on these things, never say the last trumpet of what. We assume they mean the last of the seven trumpet judgments, but Scripture never says the ‘last trumpet of the seven trumpet judgments’. Throughout Scripture, trumpets are used to signal events. So connecting the two is just an assumption as are a few other such ‘proofs’. They take take a common event and connect it to a specific event in Revelation, when Scripture doesn’t actually connect them.

For myself, this is the only way that I have seen that allows all the prophecies to be true and avoid conflicts and contradictions. Every other option, has to ignore or twist its way around verses that contradict. However, in the end, what really matters is that none of this matters. The end will happen precisely as God has commanded, even if it goes against our preferred interpretation. Our duty is not to insist that our interpretation is correct, but to be ready whenever He calls us.

In His service,
Arthur Smith

Once Saved Always Saved: The Missed Prodigal

The question always comes up, “Is it ‘once saved always saved’ or can we lose salvation at some point?” The problem here is the question is asked as if it were one question: “Is it ‘once saved always saved’ or can we lose salvation at some point?” When it is really two (or three) separate questions: “Can we ever loose our salvation.” “Is ‘once saved always saved’ true? Explain.”

I believe one of the most missed Scriptures explain this perfectly. That being the Prodigal Son. Yes it’s about God’s forgiveness, but it’s about so much more.

In it we see the father, which we all know to represent God. We see He has sons. That’s us. But the critical point, is they were BOTH His sons. BOTH had an inheritance. Our inheritance as sons (yes and daughters, but I’m sticking with the parable wording so won’t clarify that from here out) of God is eternal presence with Him in Paradise.

So what happens? The one son rejects his father and squanders his inheritance here on earth. As taught in Matthew 6, he has then had his reward. What is important and usually missed is that regarding this time that his son has rejected the Father and spent his inheritance, the father (God), says about his son (us), that he is “lost” and “dead”. What does it mean to be lost and dead to God? To have no inheritance coming from God? Luke 19:10 says clearly, “For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost.” Christ came to save the lost, so if you’re lost, you’re not saved. If you are dead in Christ, you’re aren’t saved. If you have spent your inheritance, you have none left to claim.

Of course the parable goes on, the prodigal returns, the father rushes out to welcome him back and restores his inheritance. In doing so, the father declares, “For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” So the prodigal (one of us):
- WAS a son, WAS alive (as evidenced by ‘alive AGAIN’) and DID HAVE inheritance coming from the father (God).
- rejected the father (God) and was then lost and dead to God having no further inheritance (Heaven) coming
- returned to the father (God) and was AGAIN made alive and found as a child of the father having had his inheritance restored.

Two important notes:
1) The prodigal did not LOOSE his place with the father and neither can we.
2) He did however, REJECT his father and turn from him becoming dead to the father and having no inheritance from him. Just as we can REJECT God, even having once been one of His, and be dead to God having no further inheritance coming from Him.

So we are clearly NOT ‘once saved, always saved’. We can not loose our salvation by messing up, or not going to church or by not doing this, that or some other thing. But we can go from saved to not saved by rejecting God.

I still need to watch the video, but the article is good info

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