Benne's Blog

In my old life I worked at a retail store for a national chain. I started out as a lowly stocking clerk and worked my way up to assistant manager and then quickly I had my first store manager position at a store over an hour from my home. I had a lot to learn with that promotion. Time management. People Management. Task Management. Customer Service Management... and last but not least- Loss Prevention Management. I would research and read daily to try and gain as much information as possible so that I would have the tools it would take to be successful. I quickly became the 'go-to' person that the company would send to other stores to assess habits and find weak points to try and stop theft. Don't get me wrong, I still had theft in my store. But I would always try to be watchful and find the weakest points in our staff or our habits.

I was at my first store management position for almost a year when I was transferred closer to home. It was a larger store not only with inventory but with staffing, some of which had been there for years. There was one employee that had been there for, I believe, 20 or more years. Other neighboring store employees would state... "That 'Alex' is part of the store's fixtures. You couldn't run that store without them." The transition was not an easy one. The previous manager left out of insult from the district manager. So, anyone coming in would have a hard time breaking through the toxic fumes, but I had my start there as a lowly stock clerk and that only added insult to injury for many.

The theft was very high at this location. The store was not set up in a way where you could have constant sight of who was in the store, what they were doing, or visible product. So, you have to start revealing to your staff where the weak spots are so that everyone together could prevent loss. You did this with conversations on the sales floor simply by observing normal shopper habits and behaviors. It was everyone's job to make sure that the company's inventory was properly handled. That ranged from accurate pricing, proper placement, as well as... you know ... people paying for products. It is indeed how the company was able to pay their hourly wage by collecting money from the sales of products.

Back to this pillar employee that the 'store couldn't run without'. They had a very predictable routine. One that took 15 years to create, establish, protect and follow. They would have phone time with friends and family in the mornings as they greeted customers from the counter, as well as phone time with friends while they would check customers' products out and send them on their way (while on the phone.) Then towards the end of their shift they would quickly stock a couple carts of inventory on the shelves. Then go home. They were readily available for scheduling. Never late, rarely early. Hardly ever called in sick. Quite dependable.

So, as I was trying to figure out where the weakest link was for our extreme loss of product, I was paying attention to even the oddest details. One that stuck out to me was how every day the phone would ring, and different people would ask the same question each time. "Is 'Alex' working tonight?' One day I stayed late to get a few tasks caught up and I came out of our backroom and 'Alex' was stocking on the back wall and no one was in the front of the store. I heard the door ding as someone entered and I observed 'Alex' greeting them from the back wall by yelling out, never even stopping the task to go up front. You could not even see the front door from where 'Alex' was at. So, I quickly went up front only to find that the customer that entered had already helped themselves to 2 arm full of product and was already at the front door. JUST CARRYING THE BOXES OUT! So, I yelled out, "Can I HELP YOU?" They quickly turned around, looked at me, sat the boxes on the counter and walked out empty handed without saying a word.

Well, that was one of our weakest links... and so it began that we would have some intense conversations. Creative scheduling so they were never alone in the store until we could change the bad habits. Eventually they chose to move on to a new store. But, during the course of all that, it became a personal attack on me as I was doing my job as described by the company that was paying me. Which was to ensure that everyone did their job. My job was to manage a million-dollar store. To ensure that it was staffed appropriately. To protect their investment of inventory. It was not to be the most popular person that everyone loved. That would have been great if I could have done all of what was necessary and still was the bestie to all involved. I just never figured out how to do that. I have never really been everyone's cup of tea. I have since learned that I am ok with that. So many times, it is better to stand up for what is right than to sit back for what is wrong... just to be liked.

When 'Alex' was never left in the store alone. We stopped giving out information such as, is 'Alex' working tonight? The stolen items in that store went down 70%. So, it is not always about how long someone has worked somewhere. Most often it is, are they doing the best job they can for the company that is supporting them and their family. It is our job as employees to do the best job we can, no matter the circumstances. If you change how hard you work, take care of all your personal business on company time, or check your integrity at the door as you clock in... then find a different job. Because, in my book, it is not worth it to anyone in the long run, mostly to yourself.

Managing a company is not a popularity contest.

As this political storm has settled down a little bit this is what I felt my blog was to focus on. Even though politics and elections realistically are a 'popularity contest' it should never be based on someone's appearance, how they laugh, if they are photogenic, everyone's pal. It should be based on; can they manage the shop.

•Doing the right thing, IS ALWAYS RIGHT.
•Efficiency is doing things right. Effectiveness is doing the right things.
•To be a good manager of people requires both fairness and bluntness.
•The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.

Benne Myers, if you can't find the good, be the good.

My reputation as a sweet granny has been tarnished.... by my own husband.
We had Kelby for a few days while the kids were busy with her brother. Over that weekend we were working at the plant shop. Brian was working on tucking away wires that were installed for the internet and needed a piece of tape to secure the roll. So, I was assisting him as Kelby stood alongside me. I was using the scissors as he was holding the tape, and he flinched and stated "Owe!" I was shocked and asked if I had cut him to which he informed me that it was merely a joke. But... within seconds he showed Kelby the opposite hand that had a very minute speck of blood on it from a previous injury and said to her "Look what grandma did to me."

Well, that is all it took for her opinion of me to be tarnished forever! She gave me the evil eye and proceeded to pamper and care for her wrongly injured Grandpa. She followed him around for 3 hours with tissue paper dabbing at this pin sized wound on his hand. Each and every time she would do that, she would find me, lock eyes and condemn me. I repeatedly explained to her that dear o' Grandpa was just teasing and that I did not cut him at all yet alone on purpose.

But, as we sat together at the dinner table, and I once again defended my 56-year-old self to my charming 6-year-old granddaughter... she stone cold looked me in the eye and calmly stated "We both know you did it, Grandpa would never lie" and continued on with dinner. I sat there in defeat... a crumbled granny.

We have laughed at this repeatedly over the last few days, even though I know it is funny I truly felt as if I needed her to know that I did not commit this crime of intentionally cutting her dear old grandpa! So, I tried to make her understand and see the truth but to no avail, her mind was made up.

Honestly, I have been here before, I am pretty sure that we all have been there. I have had someone spread a rumor to make me look bad. As humans, we tend to believe the worst in others and once that seed of doubt is planted, it's hard to dig out the roots. I admit that people's opinions of me matter more than they should.

During a really dark time in my life, I was deeply impacted by a lie that was told about me. I desperately tried to defend myself over and over again, to everyone I could think of... and for some it was to no avail. I was struggling with the impact of this storyteller when one day a friend shared this bit of wisdom with me. "What other people think about you is none of your business." I remember just stopping and looking at her like... huh... what? So, she explained to me that we waste so much time investigating and finding out what other people think about us... then when it is not what we want or know to be truth we spend even more time trying to clear our name... so to speak. She said... "Why would you want to give that much of your life to someone's lie? Is your time not more valuable than that?" The healthiest thing you can do is remain calm. Reach out to your true supporters, ignore the lies, and rise above the drama. Don’t engage or make excuses. In time, truth has a way of emerging on its own. Stay strong in yourself, take care of your mental health, and the lies will lose their power. Ultimately, you know your truth, and that’s what matters. To quote Jim Carey in Liar, Liar "The truth shall set you free."

•“A liar begins with making falsehood appear like truth, and ends with making truth itself appear like falsehood.” – William Shenstone

•“The trust of the innocent is the liar’s most useful tool.” – Stephen King

•“The most confused we ever get is when we’re trying to convince our heads of something our heart knows is a lie.” – Karen Marie Moning

•If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything. – Mark Twain

•You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time. – Abraham Lincoln

The truth is that Kelby still loves me and knows that I love her. She knows that when she is with me, I will protect her, care for her. She believes this because my actions prove that to her. Those closest to us will know who we are... by our actions. People will always have their opinions of you- Even if someone is able to sway them even for a bit... if you hold your ground and stay true to yourself... they will find their way back to you.

Brian was just joking around with Kelby... and we are all good. It truly has been a fun story to tell her parents.

Benne Myers, if you can't find the good, be the good.

I have entered a Sourdough journey! After seeing so many posts including some delectable photos from a friend I just had to see what all the fuss was about. So, I started researching the how to's. Sourdough baking is one of the oldest, if not the oldest form of leavened bread baking. The health benefits are fascinating- good for the gut and your metabolism. Those that are gluten intolerant often can consume the sourdough bread when the dough is given enough time to 'ferment' and the starter does its job by digesting the gluten that has been released in the bread making process.

I had a friend offer to mail me some of her starter, which was awesome, but just in case it never arrived I decided I would just start my own. It is, in fact, just water and flour. I joined a facebook group and followed along as 50,000+ members chatted about sourdough. My favorite video was of a young husband who's wife had left him detailed instructions on how to stretch and fold the dough while she was on an errand. He stated... 'I have been given more details for this sourdough than I received prior to bringing home our first born child!' He also was excited for the opportunity of them being 'baking buddies.'

I get lost in all the videos people post with the artistic scoring they do on these loaves only to cut the bread in halves and serve it at the table. In the beginning I saw this step as such a waste of time. You are just going to cut the bread for goodness' sake. But now I see it as the 'extra mile' in preparing something beautiful for my family.

I love to see all the brags where folks have posted photos of their loaves (both the ones that worked out and the ones that flopped.) But as in any facebook group you always have those people that use their knowledge as a weapon. For instance, there was a post from a fairly new baker with a loaf that I saw as perfect. There were so many accolades in the comments and then there was this one wet towel. "Your crumb looks incomplete, the scoring is mediocre but acceptable, visually the loaves coloring is overly dark although one could pass it as 'well done,' your lift and rise on the loaf does not project enough fermenting, but I assume it will probably taste just fine." The sun and moon do not rise based upon the perfect use of water, flour and salt. I guarantee that and at the end of the day it is just bread and another loaf will be made.

My mind has drifted as I think about how everyone has gone a bit crazy over this sourdough phenomenon. It would appear to me, as I researched this, that we once again have over complicated a process that is hundreds of years in the making. We have created new terms, fancy kitchen accessories and tools, and expensive flour- marketing! Made it very intimidating for newbies. So many new bakers rushing out to purchase all the gadgets when all you really need is a bowl and a pan.

I believe that sourdough bread making parallels with so many other situations in life from parenting to marriages, religion and faith.

My faith walk has been a lot like my sourdough journey. I had to decide I wanted to start then I had to do it myself. I had to find the time daily to feed my starter just as I have to find time daily to feed my spirit. I even take the time to score my bread so that it is beautiful because it brings me joy. I bake 2 loaves, one to keep and one to gift. I share my starter and what little knowledge I have gained. Bread was important enough in Jesus' life that he took the time to break bread with his disciples. It is important enough in my life to break bread with my husband, our kids and grandkids.

In my opinion, God is not complicated. His word does not hide codes. We can neither add to it or take away from His word. He had simplified life with the gift of just 10 commandments, but the greatest being found Mark 12:30-31 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

But God can be just as foreign to a person as the sourdough process is to a non-baker. We speak in cliche phrases that make it even less clear to a person that does not know anything about faith.
How do you explain to a non-believer what the true meaning of Easter is? He died on a cross to forgive our sins. Ok. But... what? Do you know why he died on the cross? You need to know!

So, how do we share what we know about God? That has been a question I have been asking for a few months now.
You have to know what you are talking about. How do you do that? That's right. Study the word of God.
We must love our neighbors. Simply love each other. Not condemning, not critiquing our 'crumb' or comparing our loaves. People don't always understand sin, therefore know absolutely nothing about forgiveness. They judge themselves so harshly for decisions made that they run from everyone around them and do whatever it takes to not feel that shame. But, when a person understands that we All make mistakes and that is just part of life. There is now hope that will grow inside them. That feeling of hope is God rising from within.
For me, I feel as if I can discern the difference in a Christian who has put in the time with their relationship, where knowledge has 'fermented' in them for a while. Who's starter has been fed appropriately. There is a difference between store bought bread and homemade bread... and people are just about the same.
I think I will have to keep it simple, like sourdough bread. Three ingredients- Jesus, Love & _____ .

So, what is the third ingredient? You tell me.
Actually, what do you think your three ingredients are?

Benne Myers, if you can't find the good, be the good.

In the evenings, when we are tucking in for the night, we have what Brian refers to as pillow talk. It is a time where we share what are days looked like. Thursday night he said this. "Benne, we have been working out for six months now and I want to tell you that I am proud of you. You have kept up with the routine and we are beginning to see the results for both of us. You have come a long ways."

I don't operate off of words of affirmation but let me tell you. That compliment made this gal feel pretty good about the entire working out together. I could not do it without him. I would never get up at 5:50 a.m. every other day so that I could get this work out in. I know me- it just ain't going to happen. I like my sleep, my coffee time and the couch. So as I laid there drifting off to sleep I had a plan for the following morning prior to our workout.

Brian goes down to our home gym 20 minutes before me. He gets the music going and has an extra routine he does without me. So, I waited until I heard the music start and I went to get dressed for the workout. I put my work out clothes on and then I put my pajamas on over the top. Remember how he just hates it when I showed up reluctantly still in my pjs.... I had to stop for a minute to compose myself and stop giggling. I got myself together and went downstairs and in through the door and he looked up at me and his face! OH! how I wish I would have had my camera out. His look was first disappointment, confusion- then frustration as he stated- "Benne!" I was like... jeez... what? As I removed my pajamas and stood there in the appropriate athletic attire. It was a joke that made me giggle off and on all day! Brian finally found the humor as the day went on. It was worth the effort.

In the beginning I didn't really put much into what I wore to workout. We were at home so why not work out in my pajamas? But I conformed to his ideas, and I choose athletic wear each time now. It makes a difference. It reminds me of the motto for job interviews. Dress for the job you want. Well, it works. It prepares me mentally to go and work out. It moves me from the -lazy morning mentality to the -let's do this mindset.

The bible speaks of what we wear helping us be all that we can be. Ephesians 6: 13-17
13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Want to be prepared for anything? Need to ensure you have the right mindset? Our spiritual strengthening is not any different from this workout routine we have in our home. It is about commitment, preparedness, routine. But! Also, it is about encouraging each other, reading the bible together, serving together, praying together, holding each other to certain standards, and dressing for the job you want.
Benne Myers, if you can't find the good, be the good.
Merry Christmas from our family to yours.

Conversations at the potting table.

This plant shop has been such a blessing, from conception to reception (the action or process of receiving something sent, given, or inflicted), and every step along the way. The atmosphere within these vintage motel walls is a place of peace and tranquility (most days)! I am unable to put my finger on what is in here that would make these rooms so healing... except to say I believe it is the Holy Spirit that drops in from time to time for those that enter these doors.
Over the last 12 months we have been host to some amazing people who stop by to look at plants and inadvertently share a bit of their heart... and pass back through our doors able to walk a little bit lighter. Most of what they leave behind are bits and pieces of grief.

Grief evolves from our losses. loss of marriage, loss of spouse, loss of jobs, loss of children, loss of innocence. Grief can be debilitating, some grow from it, some get lost in it, some cling to it with all their might as it is (to them) the last piece of what they have lost. When my dad passed, I read a quote "Grief is the price you pay for love." I find this very comforting - I loved therefore I grieve. For me it places a bit of value on griefs existence. Makes me think of the 'better to have lost at love than to never have loved at all.'

I have experienced loss on several levels, marriage, job, innocence and my father. I recall after the loss of my first marriage, I was standing in church with my sister Kim. I had my arms crossed in front of me as praise and worship erupted in the building. People were singing with joy, raising arms in worship, swaying to the music, and there I stood stoically, arms crossed as tightly as I could muster. Kim reached over and pulled my arms apart and simply stated 'let it go' and then turned around and went back to singing. I recall saying to her "I can't!" What she was referring to was my sadness... my grief. I remember thinking that I could not let it go, I would not let it go, because it was all I had remaining of a life I had built for 24 years... what remained? Grief. I know it does not sound rational... but you cannot rationalize an irrational situation. I believe most of our experiences where grief is born... are irrational events. Events that we, as mere humans, will never be able to understand.

So often we have to accept what is here and pick up our pieces and move on, carrying with us memories, gratitude, lessons, and love... but leaving behind the grief. It will come to visit from time to time, but we just don't need to invite it to stay. We cannot embrace grief, nurture it, feed it, dote on it, search for it around every corner. We must acknowledge the sadness and then ask it to leave.
It is not easy, not an overnight process. It is a day by day, often a moment-by-moment journey. One where we find within ourselves how to heal.

For me, my path was filled with several wrong turns... a few detours, but eventually I pulled myself together and stopped trying to replace what I lost and began the process of rebuilding- there is a difference. Replace & Rebuild are different actions. Which meant, not living in the past. Instead of chasing away the good memories, I embraced them and then let them go. I looked for joy. I prayed, sang worship songs, and I looked for my purpose. I set goals, made lists and prayed for direction. It was a long road. I also began a process of harnessing my grief. I had to separate my grief from my anger. The two often were so entangled I could not tell them apart. I had to deal with my anger and then my grief slowly began to drift away. I have probably never done anything right the first time. It has always taken me several attempts to get the process right- grief was not any different.

Grief does not connect us to the past, it separates us from our future.

I have watched mom as she has navigated grief after she lost my dad. She has days where she misses him and is sad. But she also has days where she misses him and reminisces the good times and she finds happiness in those moments.

It has been a good year. People have frequently asked me what made me want to open up this plant shop. I believe I was supposed to. It is part of my purpose for this season in life. I would never have been able to do this without the support of my family. Mainly Jennifer Hart and my husband. Jennifer provides me the space and Brian provides me with that voice of reason I so often need.

Benne Myers, if you can't find the good be the good....

disclosure- I am in no way minimizing grief. People have experienced losses far greater than mine for sure. These blogs are simply me sharing with you what I feel God has laid on my heart.

Have you ever played tug of war? One side pulls on the rope, then the other pulls. The rope is taut between them as they fight for control over the direction of the rope. Who will pull the other along with them? Never, ever fails that some jokester lets go of the rope and the other side stumbles to the ground. In school this was just one of the many games we had to participate in that gave me anxiety. Dodgeball was at the top of that list. I just wanted PE to be on one of those cool scooters we swam across the floor on or the parachute that we waved with the balls inside.

Our little shop has been open just under a year now. The ribbon cutting was the day after Thanksgiving 2022 and as we operate on a learning curve the lessons we have learned have less to do with business and more to do with purpose.

I had spent several years (what felt like) pulling local businesses along with me to promote them via advertising. Then I felt as if I was trying to pull the community closer to the business. It was a tug of war, and I was on neither team. I just would run from one side to the other and so often did not seem as if I drew anyone any closer together. And yet here we are... in business... in that very same community that I passionately promoted.

What we have discovered over the last 12 months is a purpose for this business and that it has very little to do with having a business.

Yes, we have bills to pay and so yes, we need to make money. But what if God has us in this shop to further His kingdom? To be Jesus to so many that chose to walk in our door. This is where we find our purpose in our plant shop.

Did you know that there are other locally owned businesses that operate under the same business plan? I was at Nickel Brick a few days ago and Nicki shared her heart for Jesus with me. "Jesus is my business partner." She opens her shop everyday but prior to that door unlocking she has already conferred with her business partner asking what he wants her to do today.
Jobs, businesses, talents and purpose- I have had jobs, owned businesses, have a few mediocre talents but at the end of the day finding my purpose helps me serve God in a much larger capacity than all the rest. My tug of war now consists of me running from side to side, the teams are God will provide vs. Benne will provide. It is better just to put the rope down and join the other team!

Mixed among the watering, potting, propagating, and ordering... There is a whole lot of trust, lots and lots of prayer, occasional praise and worship music blaring and pondering with God about what I am supposed to do today. I like to call this time with God 'pranking'. It is my prayer time combined with thinking... I need less thinky tho... My thinking time seems to invoke anxiety vs. My prayer time invoking peace.... just another tug of war I suppose. My will vs. God's will.

We face off across the rope from God, pulling in an attempt to get our own way, rather than follow His Word and will. Our preoccupation with the things of this world sets us up as enemies (such as making money) fighting against God for control of the rope. The very rope we have been struggling with God over can be a lifeline for our rescue. Imagine that God is on one end of the rope and we are at the other. All this time, we have been pulling against Him, trying to convince Him to do what we want. Then, we realize our powerlessness against the Creator of the universe. He will always win. Instead of fighting against Him, we come to our senses and start to move along the rope to Him. We draw ourselves closer to Him.
My prayer for you today is that if you have not found your purpose you would take some time to 'prank' and ask Him exactly what it is you should be doing.

Benne Myers, if you can't find the good, be the good.

Growing up my dad had a diesel shop on the same property as our home. Often, he would work long hours. Early mornings into the night. He was a one man show, so if it was going to get done it was going to be done by him. In the beginning he had a direct line to the shop, 392-6150 for his customers to get ahold of him. When supper was ready we would call him and he would come down to join all his girls around the table. At some point he discontinued that number and had the shop changed to the same number as the house, he was a frugal man indeed. So mom would send one of us girls up to get him for supper each night. Then somehow it was discovered that you could call the house number and hang up at the right time and it would ring back. Dad would listen for that one ring and pick up the phone to see if there was anyone waiting to talk to him. It was a challenge to get that phone hung up at just the right time. This was our opportunity to tell him about supper or any other messages that needed to be relayed.
How times have changed. Most often that phone doesn't ring where you don't know who is calling. Which makes it quite convenient actually. It affords you the opportunity to complete a task, a conversation, or simply wait until a more convenient moment to call back. More often than not the caller will hang up and send a text to let you know what they needed. It should make us a more present society... but so often- it does not.

I had an employer at one point that would either ask for assistance, ask a question or simply be in a conversation with me and the phone would ring... and mid-sentence they would answer the phone and walk away. This phone habit made a big impact on me. It proved my value in this employee/employer relationship. Which would appear to be very little value.

I have received calls here in the shop while I have had a visitor and I simply hit the option to send a text... "I will call you back." I focus on the person that has taken the time to be in my presence. Because, since the covid crisis I have learned the value of being around people... I had missed this part of life. In person meetings! It is a true gift- a present of presence.

I had a situation occur this week that really impacted me. I was having a conversation with a friend, and they answered their phone while we were talking, ending our conversation and beginning another. I walked away thinking... okay so I have very little value in this person's day, our relationship is not what I thought it was, what is my value?

My takeaway on the phones this week is this. It does not need to replace the people who have taken the time to see me in person. It should add to a relationship -not take away.

Benne Myers, If you can't find the good, be the good.