Lexi VanRose

I’ve been reading Eastern Body, Western Mind, and this stopped me in my tracks.

The author describes overwhelm as having too much information and not knowing what to do with it. Through the chakra system, she connects chronic overwhelm and loss of grounding with becoming disconnected from reality.

It immediately made me think about the world we live in.

We already know from declassified history that the U.S. government experimented with consciousness and behavior through MKULTRA, including L*D, sensory deprivation and other methods, sometimes without people’s knowledge or consent.

I’m not suggesting that everything overwhelming us today is some coordinated experiment. I’m asking a different question:

What happens to people when we live in a constant state of emergency?

Negative news. Political fear. Algorithms fighting for our attention. Notifications. Processed convenience food. Less nature. Less silence. Less community. More information than we can possibly process.

When we’re constantly frightened, exhausted and overstimulated, how much space is left to think critically, create, question what we’re consuming, or decide what we actually believe?

Maybe personal freedom isn’t knowing every secret or having every answer.

Maybe it starts with becoming grounded enough to think for yourself.

Grow something. Cook real food. Move your body. Go outside. Make art. Know your neighbors. Read history. Check your sources. Turn off the noise sometimes.

Awareness without constant alarm.
Curiosity without paranoia.
Preparedness without panic.

Learn. Question. Stay grounded. Decide for yourself.

Root to rise. 🌱

I’m smiling. And I mean it. :))

But there’s a lot underneath this smile these days.

I’ve been carrying grief. Grief for my dad. Grief for relationships and versions of myself I thought would work. I’ve been holding space for my family, helping my mom, running my business, showing up for my clients, trying to be a good friend, partner, daughter, human.

And somewhere in all of that, my art suffered.

My imagination took the back burner while grief took the helm.

I feel like my solar plexus shut down for a while. My confidence, my fire, my ability to just KNOW and move forward. My throat chakra couldn’t connect either. I wasn’t always saying what I needed to say when I needed to say it. I would hold things in, try harder, give more, convince myself I could handle it… until I couldn’t.

And man, I’ve learned a lot from that.

I have loved people enough to make choices I thought I could live with. I’ve tried to bend and stretch myself into situations because I believed love would make me flexible enough to do it.

But yoga is teaching me that flexibility isn’t abandoning yourself.

My practice has slowly been connecting me back together. Breath by breath. Pose by pose. Learning to feel my body again. Learning to pause before reacting. Learning to listen when something inside me says yes, and learning to trust myself when the answer is still no.

And I can feel my creativity starting to come back with me.

More art is coming. More yoga. More honesty. More imagination. More of whatever this next version of my life wants to become.

I’m realizing I don’t have to beat myself up for trying something and discovering it wasn’t for me. I don’t have to keep choosing something just because I once believed I could.

Sometimes love means staying.

Sometimes love means letting go.

And sometimes loving yourself means finally saying, I have to do me.

So yeah, I’m smiling.

Not because everything underneath it is easy.

Because through all of it, I’m still here. Still loving. Still creating. Still learning. Still finding my way forward.

Pause to Presence.
Root to Rise.
And back to me. :))) 🤍

The day before my dad passed, April of last year. Tears in my eyes, knowing this was one of our last moments together. Knowing how deeply I loved him and how thankful I was that he got to be a part of my life in so many special ways.

Caretaking for my dad was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it was also an honor. I wouldn’t change that time with him for the world.

I moved back to Indiana to help my family, and I’m still here today. Still showing up.

So much has changed since this photo was taken. I’ve had to open myself up to truly grieving the loss instead of just pushing forward. To be more honest with myself and with the people around me. To say what I need, what I feel, what I can carry, and what I can’t.

Grief has taught me that healing doesn’t mean leaving someone behind. Dad is woven into so much of who I am and how I love.

There has been so much change, so much letting go, and so much beginning again.

And through all of it, I keep finding a way forward. ❤️

Indiana is pretty damn great for some river rompinggg, and we be out here. 😂🌊

The best crew. So thankful for these wonderful souls, the support, the laughter, the energy, and all the memories we keep making along the way.

We’re all on our own special journey, figuring it out as we go, and I’m just really thankful our paths get to cross. :))

Summer has been good to me. Next up… more yoga, more art, more creating, more living. ✨

Keep finding a way forward. 🤍

Soooo ready to paddleboard again. 🤍

I’ve been thinking a lot about my practicum for my yoga teacher certification, and it all keeps coming back to Root to Rise. Supported. Active. Standing. Receiving. Finding support so we can continue to rise.

It’s funny, I felt this the whole 7 miles down the river.

This summer has stretched me in ways I never expected. Yoga teacher training, being open to stepping into a new role as a stepmom, learning to stress and strengthen my body so it can soften and relax, and continuing to push past what I thought was possible.

I’m learning that growth isn’t always about becoming someone new. Sometimes it’s about becoming more yourself.

You have to try a new path to be on a new path.

Super excited to see where the rest of this summer goes. ✨

The cutest town, bike friendly, and we camped down by the river in the van (thanks, Pops and Mom 🤍). We rode into downtown in about 10 minutes.

Friday night the rain came out of nowhere 😂 Thankfully we had a waterproof blanket and found a little shelter until a dry pocket came through. We still caught some fireworks while lightning lit up the sky all around us. The thunder was rollinnnggg, so we biked back to camp just in time for the downpour.

Definitely one of those weekends I’ll never forget.

Love you, Jake L Page 🤍

Lately I’ve just been feeling really grateful.

Grateful for the people who’ve stayed close through the hard seasons, celebrated the good ones, and reminded me that I never have to do life alone.

From grieving my dad, healing my foot, and now stepping into yoga teacher training, this season has been one of so much growth. Looking back, I can see how every chapter has been leading me here.

Thank you to Jake, my friends, and everyone who’s walked alongside me. I don’t take it for granted.

Here’s to healing, friendship, love, and continuing to find a way forward. 🤍

There’s something really powerful about being in rooms like this lately…

People showing up as they are
Learning
Trying
Not having it all figured out

Today was Kayla’s first class after graduating YTT at North Mass, and you could feel it…
that mix of nerves, growth, and stepping into something new

And it made me realize—

none of us are waiting until we feel “ready”

we’re just… doing it anyway

showing up with the doubt
showing up with the excitement
showing up with whatever is there

This is the kind of space I’ve been craving more of

where you don’t have to be perfect to begin

just willing 🤍

I’ve been building a cleaning business for years.

And I’m proud of it… it’s taught me discipline, consistency, and how to take care of people.

But if I’m honest—
that’s not what my soul is here to teach long term.

I’m more interested in the mind.
The body.
The patterns we get stuck in.

I’ve lived addiction.
I’ve lived the feeling of being completely disconnected from myself.

And I’ve also lived what it feels like to come back. Slowly. Imperfectly. But for real.

Lately, I’ve been feeling pulled toward creating space for women who want that too.
Not perfection.
Not pressure.
Just… a place to reconnect and rebuild trust with themselves.

I’m still in my yoga training, still learning, still deepening.
But I’m not waiting to start becoming this version of me.

If this resonates, I’d love to hear where you’re at in your own journey 🤍

In a space of women, something ancient softens and rises at the same time.

Movement becomes language.
Laughter becomes medicine.
And the parts of us we’ve kept quiet begin to feel safe enough to return.

There’s a kind of power that isn’t loud —
it’s gentle, grounded, and deeply present.

A reminder that we don’t need to perform to belong.
We don’t need to harden to be strong.

When we’re met with openness, we remember who we are.

Grateful for this space,
for these women,
and for what came back to life in me. 🌿🤍