For a Good Time, Call Tom Barrett

Hi friends!

This is your good buddy Congressman Tom Barrett, letting you know that, thanks to the best House Speaker in the whole wide world, I'm going to be on vacation for the next seven weeks or so! Isn't that exciting?

To be honest I wasn't expecting this. I figured I'd be able to keep up my usual schedule right up to the election. You know, go to work in DC, then come home and do a bunch of photo ops, maybe a surprise drop-in to a charity I never heard of before now, and dodge a few uncomfortable questions here and there.

But now? I'm so excited! My kids got their summer vacation and now I get a Fall vacation, just for me! I'm thinking of doing some snorkeling with the former Governor, maybe ride a mechanical bull, see what's left of the cherry fields up north. I might even try to surf one of our great lakes!

(You CAN do that, right?)

In the meantime, you can help me have a great vacation by doing me a few favors. Ready?

1) Stop asking me for an in-person, unscripted, open-invite, well-publicized town hall. I'm not doing them because there's too many stinky, mean liberals in my district who want to ask me tough questions I can't run away from. I like it better when my staff can write... I mean, pick through the questions I answer so I have time to prepare for them. Wouldn't you?

2) Stop asking me about Ice. You know I love ice. How else do you keep drinks cold? Think, people.

3) Stop asking me why I stopped voting "yes" on Iran after that first time. I already explained I was for it until I was against it. Surely that makes sense. Haven't you ever changed your mind about bombing people for our best friends in Israel?

4) No I'm not going to be in any swimsuit calendars. I'm not even sure how that rumor got started. Probably something to do with that post office I got the name changed on. I think.

5) No, you can't ride in my helicopter. Apart from fuel being really expensive right now (Gosh darn Iran people) helicopter time is ME TIME. And ME TIME is darned important. Ask anyone.

6) Stop asking about Pete "Kegseth." See, now you've got me calling him that, too. It's okay if the man likes to drink. If we didn't let him I think he'd be a little too tight for his own good and then terrible things would happen. Just let the man do his magic, okay?

7) Please stop calling my numbers (DC (202) 225-4872
Lansing (517) 993-0510) to ask me about town halls, or Iran, or whatever. And don't ask me about that Epstein thing while you're at, because if you think you're being funny when you call me, you should imagine what it's like when the President does and he's not happy.

Anyway, that's the list. Now please go away and let me have fun!

Your best buddy,

Tom

Hey Congressman Tom Barrett - you weren't one of the four Republicans who signed onto this discharge petition, but will you vote on this when it comes up, after the Midterms?

Massie and Khanna Have Enough Signatures for a Second Epstein Files Discharge Petition The chamber, however, won’t be able to vote on the bill until after November’s midterm elections.

Happy Monday, friends! Did you have a good weekend? Enjoying that cooler weather? Hopefully it doesn't impact your end-of-summer plans too much (or your gardens, for that matter).

Well, we can think of one person who probably did NOT have a great weekend. And that's our friend, Congressman Tom Barrett, who doubtlessly spent a few days out of the limelight doing some soul-searching on where to go after that horrendous midterm convention the RNC threw.

True, he didn't go. And he had other things to be occupied with - namely observing the 25th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, and the one year anniversary of Charlie Kirk's rather ironic demise. Now, we should always remember both days, not only because of the loss of life but because of what was learned on both days.

And while Tom gave some fairly standard remarks to commemorate both, we can't help but hope that he's actually learned something. Especially after what he would have heard, and been expected to say and cheer, had he gone to that midterm convention.

What are the real lessons of 9/11? We say "never again" and "never forget" like catechisms, but what are we supposed to take from all that? The uncomfortable truth of 9/11 is that we got lax and sloppy - horrendously overconfident, endlessly poking hornets nests both at home and abroad. And when we got stung in the eye, rather than the toe, we went insane with anger. And in our insanity we embarked on a costly war on an idea itself, rather than a concrete enemy -- realizing too late that we'd killed and lost too many while pursuing a mirage. And now we still pat ourselves on the back for having avenged our losses, occasionally admitting that maybe the "War on Terror" wasn't such a good idea after all. Just not too loudly for fear of offending.

And what is the real lesson of Charlie Kirk? Well, he did say "“I think it’s worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment to protect our other God‑given rights." And the President, who really loved him (or so we're told) said we needed to get over gun violence, especially school shootings. Dead kids are a small price to pay for "freedom."

But when someone shot Charlie Kirk, we DIDN'T get over it. Oh no! We instead turned this grotesque, intellectually-bankrupt bully into a martyr, and castigated with furious, righteous anger anyone who pointed out what a nasty little man-child he actually was. People lost their jobs for reciting his own words, or sharing off-color jokes. Laws are being passed to make days in his memory, or force universities to have Turning Point USA chapters. And so on, and so forth.

So what are the true lessons of both these days? That when we get angry, hurt, or scared, we do really stupid and horrible things, and allow ourselves to be led by stupid and horrible people. And it takes us forever to finally shake off the illusions we heap on those stupid and horrible people - that they're good leaders, that they're moral people, that they have our best interests and heart.

And anyone who says otherwise, well, there must be something wrong with them. They must be insane, or anti-American, or "communist," "Islamist," or - gasp! - TRANS.

Flash forward to the midterm convention, which Tom Barrett did not care to attend. While there, the President offered what was essentially a $5000 bribe to every American if the Republicans maintain a Congressional majority after the midterms. And then asked everyone to raise their hands and repeat the following:

"“I pledge to the greatest president in the history of the United States. That loves us so much he can’t even breathe. That I will go out with my family, my friends. I’ll do it any way—I don’t care if I’m registered or not—I’m going to try to cheat like hell like they do ... I am gonna go out, and I’m going to get my friends, my family and we are going to vote on November 3 or we are going to vote before that.”

A pledge to a President. Not a flag, not a nation, a President.

A pledge to cheat at the polls, because after all the Democrats do it. Right?

All that followed by the ominous notion that if you don't vote, "you go to Hell." And you know how many people there think he speaks on behalf of God...

So what on earth must our friend Tom Barrett be thinking, now? Probably a great deal of relief that he wasn't there, because if he had been you know his opponent would be working all that into his campaigning. Can't you just see the photo of Tom holding up his hand and mumbling along, looking like he realized he left the iron back on at the hotel?

But maybe also a sense that, in the same way that Tom's come around on the notion that endless wars in the service of an angry quest for a mirage were a bad idea, that THIS was a bad idea, too. That handling the nation's destiny over to a raging narcissist with no business sense, no strategic smarts, no morals, and no real goals other that enriching himself and keeping his ass out of jail was a tragic mistake.

And maybe Tom's starting to realize that, come November, his political fortunes are going to pay for that mistake, too. All all the helicopter ads, cutesy thrifting videos with the wife and kids, and aw-shucks photo-ops are doing anything to wash away the stink.

Because when it all comes down to it, Tom doesn't seem like a bad guy... for a Republican. We think he genuinely wants to help people, and loves and wants to protect his country. He just views how to help, love, and protect differently than around half his constituency. Sometimes he gets it right, sometimes he gets it wrong, and sometimes he's in outer space. Same as any politician.

But 10 years ago, when a certain orange imbecile descended from the Trump Tower escalator and declared himself the savior of the Republican party -- here to undo the unholy reign of one Barack Hussein Obama -- Tom either didn't see him for the monster that he was, or went along with it. And he's kept going all this time, continuing to make excuses, follow orders, and keep silent.

Can he stay silent now? Does he dare speak up and say he was wrong? Can he admit that there were lessons to be learned, here, and he's finally come around on more than just Iran?

Maybe. But just in case he hasn't... you know what to do.
DC (202) 225-4872
Lansing (517) 993-0510