Archie & Fonzi

Happy birthday Archie! 🥳🎂🐾 Look at that sweet little birthday bay! 😍💗🐶

Happy Labor Day 🇺🇸🐶🐶🐾🐾❤️💙❤️💙

We don’t even labor 😂

Mom said we’ve been “acting entitled” lately, so we decided we needed some space. ✈️

We booked first class.

She said, “WITH WHOSE MONEY?!”

We’re not really sure why she keeps asking questions she already knows the answer to. 😐

Anyway, Archie ordered the ch*****ne, Fonzi handled accommodations, and we both agreed it was important to get away from the stress of our everyday lives.

Being this cute is exhausting.

We’ve had a really difficult week. Breakfast was late TWICE, someone closed the bathroom door while they were in there, and yesterday Mom had the audacity to leave the house without us.

We needed this. 🥺

Mom will understand when she sees the credit card statement.

Probably.

Anyway, we have to go. The flight attendant just came by and apparently there’s a “two-drink maximum.”

We’ll be speaking to management.

— Archie & Fonzi 🐾✈️😂

I left him alone for five minutes.

Apparently that was enough time for him to discover his passion for interior design. 😐

When I asked why he colored the wall, he looked genuinely offended that I didn’t appreciate the vision.

So anyway, we’re calling it an original Archie & Fonzi installation.

Estimated value: $14,000.

Estimated cost to fix it: I don’t wanna talk about it. 😭😂🖍️🐾

— Archie & Fonzi

He said he was “working from home” today.

I checked on him three hours later.

Laptop: untouched.
Treats: gone.
Remote: secured.
Pants: nonexistent.

He’s now requesting a raise for maintaining a healthy work-life balance. 😭😂🐾

— Archie & Fonzi

Apparently toilet paper is now a recreational activity. 😐

I asked what happened.

He said nothing.

I asked who did it.

He said nothing.

I pointed out that he was STILL HOLDING THE EVIDENCE IN HIS MOUTH.

His attorney has advised him to stop answering questions. 😭😂

— Archie & Fonzi 🐾

Archie said “I don’t know what happened, but I’m just as concerned as you are.” 😂

The face of guilt! lol

It’s the same situation when I get Doritos 😫🤣

Walked into the bedroom and apparently we’ve opened a tissue testing facility. 😐

Every. Single. Tissue.

Individually inspected.

Shredded for quality assurance.

And scattered across the bed for final review. 😂

When questioned, the suspect refused to cooperate and immediately requested an attorney.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Excellent quality. Would destroy again.

— Archie & Fonzi 🐾

I asked if he wanted to go for a walk.

He looked at me.

Looked at the TV.

Grabbed another handful of popcorn.

So I guess that’s a no. 😭😂🍿

He’s currently six episodes deep into a show he claims he “wasn’t even watching.”

Please don’t bother him. He has plans all day.

— Archie & Fonzi 🐾