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One of the most incredible parts of being a therapist is watching a client slowly start loving themselves again.

At first, it’s subtle.
They stop apologizing for taking up space.
They challenge the voice in their head that says they’re “too much” or “not enough.”
They start setting boundaries without feeling guilty.
They laugh more.
They believe compliments.
They stop shrinking themselves to make other people comfortable.

Psychologically, self-hatred impacts everything: relationships, motivation, anxiety, depression, perfectionism, people-pleasing, even the way someone interprets neutral situations. When someone has spent years viewing themselves through shame, criticism, or survival mode, learning self-compassion can feel terrifying at first.

But then something shifts.

They begin speaking to themselves with the same kindness they give everyone else.
They stop seeing their needs as burdens.
They realize healing isn’t becoming a different person, it’s reconnecting with who they were before the world convinced them they were hard to love.

And honestly, watching this shift and being the one trusted to go through it with someone, especially teenagers who HATE being vulnerable and honest (most of the time) is always such an honor 💕

Psychologically, everyone is obsessed with because it did 8 things most shows completely miss:

1. It proved chemistry doesn’t require toxicity.
The relationships were passionate, intense, and entertaining without constantly humiliating or emotionally destroying each other. People are craving love stories where emotional safety still feels exciting.

2. It didn’t villainize other women.
The “popular girls” weren’t automatically evil or insecure caricatures. Kendall deserved an apology, and viewers are tired of female characters only existing to compete with each other.

3. The trauma felt human.
Characters weren’t magically healed after one emotional conversation. Trauma showed up through avoidance, anger, attachment issues, perfectionism, and self-worth struggles the way it actually does in real life.

4. It normalized conversations about women’s pleasure.
The male characters openly caring about women’s pleasure challenged the idea that emotional attentiveness makes men “less masculine” and instead made it attractive.

5. Every character felt emotionally recognizable.
Whether it was anxiety, fear of abandonment, people-pleasing, shutting down emotionally, or using humor to cope… viewers saw parts of themselves in the characters.

6. The friendships mattered as much as the romance.
The show made friendship feel safe, loyal, and healing instead of just background noise to the relationships.

7. The men were emotionally flawed without being emotionally unavailable stereotypes.
They struggled, apologized, opened up, and cared deeply while still feeling confident and masculine.

8. The conflict felt psychologically real.
A lot of the tension came from insecurity, communication issues, fear, and unresolved pain instead of constant cheating, revenge, and betrayal.

And honestly… who doesn’t love a good coming-of-age love story?

One of the hardest parts of opening up about trauma is worrying about how the therapist is feeling while you’re sharing it.

Clients will say things like:
“Sorry, this is a lot.”
“I feel bad putting this on you.”
“I don’t want to overwhelm you.”

But here’s what you need to know: your therapist’s job is not to be protected from your pain. It’s to help you carry it safely.

Therapists are trained to hold hard stories without judgment, without falling apart, and without needing you to take care of them emotionally. In fact, when you start worrying about their feelings in the middle of talking about your trauma, it often means you’ve spent a lifetime feeling responsible for other people’s emotions.

Healing happens when you realize you don’t have to minimize your pain to make others comfortable.

You are allowed to take up space in the room.
You are allowed to tell the whole story.
And you are not “too much” for the right therapist.

Wait what…who said that??

Oftentimes I can notice my clients subtle shift in thinking that can mean they are starting to feel better. Awareness can be so powerful when it comes to depression and depressive episodes.

Here are some signs you may be coming out of a depressive episode:

• Music starts sounding good again
• You respond to texts without overthinking it
• Getting out of bed feels a little easier
• You catch yourself making future plans
• Food tastes good again
• You laugh without forcing it
• Your mind feels less heavy all the time
• You want to reconnect with people

Signs a depressive episode may be starting:

• Everything suddenly feels exhausting
• You start isolating yourself
• Small tasks feel overwhelming
• You stop enjoying things you normally love
• Your sleep changes, too much or not enough
• You feel emotionally numb or irritable
• You stop taking care of yourself the same way
• Your inner dialogue becomes more negative

Awareness matters. Catching the signs early can help you support yourself sooner.

So many teens and women suffer silently after sexual assault, carrying shame that was never theirs to hold. Many blame themselves for freezing, not speaking up, going back afterward, drinking, or trusting the wrong person.

But trauma responses are not consent. And assault is never the survivor’s fault.

You are not alone. There are so many people quietly carrying similar pain, and healing starts when someone finally feels safe enough to be heard without judgment. 🤍

When teens casually bring up drinking in session like it’s no big deal… 👀

It’s easy to zoom in on the behavior.
“How often?” “Who were you with?” “Why did you do it?”

But more often than not, that moment isn’t the whole story.

Underneath the surface there’s usually something bigger:
Pressure to fit in.
Social anxiety.
Stress they don’t have words for yet.
Trying to feel something… or trying to not feel so much.

If we only focus on stopping the behavior, we risk missing what it’s doing for them.

And this is exactly why teens need to know they can talk about drinking in session, without immediate judgment or fear of getting in trouble.

Because if they feel like they have to hide it, we lose the opportunity to:
Help them make safer choices
Understand what they’re coping with
Build trust so they actually open up about the harder stuff

Silence doesn’t prevent the behavior, connection creates change.

Real progress happens when a teen can say,
“Yeah, I drank… but here’s what was really going on.”

That’s where the work begins.