Lonesome Tortoise Ranch Rescue

They said tortoises were slow, nobody said they weren’t persistent… 🐢

This is the face of a gentleman who is absolutely, positively not studying the gate latch.

With sulcatas, “I only turned around for a second” can become the opening line of a full-scale perimeter search. They’re powerful, determined diggers—and an adult can push through a weak barrier like it was merely a polite suggestion.

That’s why secure latches, sturdy fencing, buried barriers and regular enclosure checks matter so much. They may move slowly, but once a sulcata selects a destination, he approaches it with the commitment of somebody who has already ignored three “Do Not Enter” signs.

What do you think his escape plan is? Wrong answers encouraged. 😉

Happy fall, y’all! 🍂

The calendar technically says autumn now, but as we all know, sadly Pearland still says 95 degrees…

While the rest of the country is pulling out sweaters and sipping pumpkin-spice everything, we’re still providing shade, fresh water and asking, “Is the air conditioner supposed to be running this hard in fall?” 😉

While we impatiently wait for the cooler weather to pay us a visit, we wanted to take this opportunity to remind everyone that if you do not have a heated enclosure for your tortoise, it’s time to start putting plans together. We suggest having one that is easily accessible for when the temperature drops below 60 degrees. If you have any questions or need any ideas, please feel free to send us a message! 🐢

We often get asked if a tortoise can feel their shell when they are touched, so we figured we would make a post out of it. 🐢

A tortoise’s shell isn’t a little house it carries around or a suit of armor it can climb out of. It is a living part of the tortoise’s body, made from bone and keratin and containing blood vessels and nerves.

That means tortoises can feel gentle touch on their shells—and shell damage can hurt just like an injury anywhere else. It’s also why we never paint shells, drill into them, or glue decorations onto them.

Their shells may be tough, but they still deserve gentle hands.

So, I guess you could say… SHELL YEAH—they can feel that! 😉

Buttercup, the ranch’s on site manager, has reviewed today’s ranch task list. 🐢

The wheelbarrow is improperly parked. The gloves appear suspicious. Breakfast was clearly insufficient. And somebody still hasn’t explained why the supervisor is expected to walk all the way across the enclosure when perfectly good humans are available.

Here at Lonesome Tortoise Ranch, every job is thoroughly inspected—very slowly and with absolutely no intention of helping. Looks like we humans have a lot of work to do.

If this handsome foreman worked at your place, what job title would you give him? Wrong answers are highly encouraged. 😉

🎶 Milli Vanilli told us to “Blame It on the Rain”… and honestly, we do! The problem is, we haven’t had nearly enough rain to blame. 😂

The dry weather has left us with far less grass and natural forage than our tortoises normally enjoy. With so many hungry shells depending on us, we could really use a little help keeping everyone fed. 🐢❤️

If you have extra pumpkins, watermelon, squash, leafy greens, cactus pads, cucumbers, bell peppers, berries, or other fresh, tortoise-friendly produce, we would be incredibly grateful to put it to good use. Garden extras and produce that isn’t quite pretty enough for your table are perfectly fine—as long as they aren’t spoiled or moldy.

Don’t have time to shop for produce or bring anything by? Cash donations of any amount would also be greatly appreciated and will go directly toward purchasing food and supplies for the tortoises.

Every watermelon, pumpkin, bundle of greens, and dollar donated helps us continue caring for the rescued tortoises who call Lonesome Tortoise Ranch home.

Please message us to arrange a drop-off or to find out how to make a monetary donation.

From all of us—and every hungry little face at the ranch—thank you! 🐢🍉🎃🥬

You know what they say, the way to a tortoise’s heart is through their stomach. 🐢

We are still seeking watermelon (or any produce) donations. It has been a hot summer and these tortoises deserve a sweet treat! 🍉

If you have something you would like to donate, please send us a private message for drop off details! ☺️

Our very own president of LTR was chosen as an ambassador for Operation Vet Now! He continues to make us proud. Those of you that have met him at our events or adoptions know that he is one great guy! We are super excited to see where this new chapter takes him!

Feel free to show him some love in the comments! 🐢❤️🇺🇸

🇺🇸 Please join us in welcoming our newest OVN Ambassador Athlete, Brad Branum aka Turtle!

Brad served a combined 16 years in the United States Navy & Army, with multiple deployments throughout Iraq and Africa. We thank Brad for his service and his continued commitment to helping others.

Today, Brad competes in motocross, where he has earned impressive accomplishments including a Texas State Championship and a 2nd Place finish at the AMA VetMX Championship. But for Brad, success isn't measured solely by podiums.

As he puts it:

"I just like to see seconds coming off my laps. That keeps me engaged."

Like many Veterans, Brad found himself searching for purpose after years of service and combat deployments.

His path back began in an unexpected place — rescuing tortoises. That experience helped him rediscover meaning, rebuild confidence, and eventually find his way back to motocross.

Now, Brad is committed to helping other Veterans find their own path forward.

When asked why he wanted to become an OVN Ambassador Athlete, Brad shared:

"I needed to find my reason to be. After multiple combat deployments, I had lost my way."

He added:

"I want to be a beacon that shines in the frequency they can only see... bring them in and help them on their journey to find their reason."

That message embodies what the OVN Ambassador Athlete Program is all about.

Being an Ambassador Athlete is about more than racing. It's about being the front door — creating connection through shared experiences, helping Veterans find purpose through sport, and reminding them they don't have to navigate life's challenges alone.

Brad understands that every Veteran's story is different, but everyone deserves the opportunity to find their next mission.

Welcome to the team, Brad — and thank you for helping keep Veterans moving forward.

Do you have plans next Saturday, June 6th? If not, we would love to see you at Froberg’s! What’s better than tortoises and yummy snacks? 😋

We will have tortoises there available to adopt. If you plan on coming and would potentially like to adopt, go ahead and send us a message so that we can get an application to you! 🐢

We are excited to see everyone! Please feel free to share this post and help us get the word out!

Buttercup reminded me that summer time officially means that we are asking for watermelon donations! 🍉

If you have any or would like to bring some by, our tortoises would be very grateful! Please direct message us for drop off details! 🐢

Attention friends in Galveston, please keep a lookout for this little one! A reward is being offered. If you have any details or questions, please private message us here.

Please feel free to share this post so that we can get this sweet little one back home!