Selective Hearing Heals

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What’s your favorite line? For anyone currently in this season, I hope you allow yourself to stay in it long enough for the change to happen. Because every year gon look the same until you submit to your evolution. I pray this is the year of Ascension for you 🤍 #TheWhiteYear . . 🎥: @poetrymeplease

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😕 Yesterday, I had a full-on anxiety attack...long post

No one tells you about how ugly it gets on those days where anxiety thinks it rules your child. 🥺 When you can hear the trembling in their voice, you can see them shaking, and you even watch them freeze. The nights where they don't want to sleep because they know it's just the same thing tomorrow. How as a mom, as a single parent, does one find time to be in FULL support of their child, to be the advocate they need at school- not for one kid but two, still show up for work to pay the bills AND show up for themselves. Especially when life keeps life'n and you're faced with challenge after challenge.

☹️ Yesterday, I had a full-on anxiety attack. I haven't had one since Sept of '23 when I ended up in the hospital, but this was my third. Intentional breathing helped me get through. It wasn't easy, AND prayer. I was scared because, well, 🫨 if you've ever had one, then you know. I was far from home. I was alone. In a parking lot. I remember during the episode and even more so after, all I felt was shame. 😞 Embarrassment. Like how could I be so positive with others, my advice always leading to the Most High GOD, people reach out to me to talk about their problems BUT here I am letting life get the best of me. Like, what kind of fraud am I? 🤨🤔

I'm okay, though. I got through it. 💯 That intentional breathing is underrated! I spent the rest of my day with the one person who calms me, makes me feel safe and brings peace. 🤗 They helped me be at ease the rest of the day. But I'm an adult, and I have an understanding of how to get through. My child doesn't. While I would like to think I'm that person that calms my children, makes them feel safe and brings peace, BUT the reality is, I may not always be that. 🫤

I was there when my babies saw all that bad stuff happen. I was part of it. No matter my role, their mom was in it. They saw stuff no child should ever see their parents go through. 💔 The hurt they have, I caused. Not directly, but I could've made better choices. So I can only imagine the pain and hurt they may feel from me, but because I am also a safe space, it's hard for them to express that.

It's hard knowing you hurt your kids. 🥺 I understand that I've done some things that I want to be forgiven for. Just as I had to forgive my parents. The guilt is heavy. I just want to take away the pain so they don't grow up using this as an excuse as to why they are the way they are. ❤️‍🩹 I know healing is possible. It's not easy, but I've done it and am still doing it. 🙌🏼 I pray the Most High continues to guide me in helping my babies heal.

After the way our day started, I'm expecting a rough night. I could dwell on this and stress myself out even more OR I could do as I've been doing, as I've been advising my peeps....feel it, embrace it, question it, respond to it, surrender it, rebuke those strongholds, pray, have faith AND walk it out. I'm human. But my spirit is very much alive. 🙌🏼✨️❤️‍🔥

I understand what it means to be refined. I just trip out on how much He believes I can handle, but I trust in the 👑 Most High with ALL my heart. 💖 I know that just because I don't understand how to get through what life has laid out for me right now, He's got it in under control. AND it doesn't matter if I like the outcome...ALL things work for good! 🥹

I know life is life'n for everybody, and we all going through different challenges. 🫂 This is a safe space, and I encourage you to share something heavy you've been dealing with or got through recently. Get it off your chest. No judgment. It takes a village. ❤️‍🩹

I love y'all mi gente, and if you made it this far, I appreciate you tappin into my real life.
THANK YOU! 🤗