Pnwpassport

I was researching a farmers market in Tacoma and somehow ended up reading its vendor application.This was my first mistake.

One question asks vendors which description applies to their business, and among the completely normal options is:

“I collect road kill myself for art.”

Obviously I kept reading.

Welcome to the Haunted Farmers Market, where 150+ vendors sell taxidermy, horror collectibles, crystals, tarot readings, flash tattoos, candles, apothecary goods and macabre clothing.

There is also food.

And actual farmers.

I know this because the FARMER application specifically says:

“FARMERS ARE NOT REQUIRED TO BE SPOOKY. REGULAR FARM STANDS WELCOME!”

😭

Some poor person with perfectly innocent zucchini apparently needed reassurance.

Everybody else? Different story.

Non-food vendors are required to keep at least 75% of what they sell spooky or Halloween-themed YEAR ROUND.

Not October.

Year round.

They also have a strict no-MLM and no-AI-art rule. And before anyone gets worried about the roadkill situation, animal products must be legally and sustainably sourced. Animals cannot be killed for art or collecting for the market.

So yes, somebody may have picked a dead raccoon off the road.

No, they may not create one for inventory.

God I love journalism. 😂

The market started in 2024 and now has 150+ vendors, which explains why our photo is someone dressed as Michael Myers standing in broad daylight eating a sundae like he finished his errands early.

And you don’t have to scramble there today.

After Sept. 20, they’re back Sept. 27, Oct. 11 and Oct. 25.

Save this for the person whose response to “farmers market?” is usually no, but whose response to “farmers market with taxidermy?” is already putting shoes on.

💀 Haunted Farmers Market
📍 S 54th St + S Tacoma Way, Tacoma
⏰ Sundays, 10 AM–4 PM
📅 Sept. 20 + 27, Oct. 11 + 25
🎟️ Free

Photo sourced from Haunted Farmers Market’s official Instagram.

I still have questions about the roadkill checkbox, but I’m afraid reading another application may result in me becoming a vendor.

— Larie

I was researching a farmers market in Tacoma and somehow ended up reading its vendor application.

This was my first mistake.

One question asks vendors which description applies to their business, and among the completely normal options is:

“I collect road kill myself for art.”

Obviously I kept reading.

Welcome to the Haunted Farmers Market, where 150+ vendors sell taxidermy, horror collectibles, crystals, tarot readings, flash tattoos, candles, apothecary goods and macabre clothing.

There is also food.

And actual farmers.

I know this because the FARMER application specifically says:

“FARMERS ARE NOT REQUIRED TO BE SPOOKY. REGULAR FARM STANDS WELCOME!”

😭

Some poor person with perfectly innocent zucchini apparently needed reassurance.

Everybody else? Different story.

Non-food vendors are required to keep at least 75% of what they sell spooky or Halloween-themed YEAR ROUND.

Not October.

Year round.

They also have a strict no-MLM and no-AI-art rule. And before anyone gets worried about the roadkill situation, animal products must be legally and sustainably sourced. Animals cannot be killed for art or collecting for the market.

So yes, somebody may have picked a dead raccoon off the road.

No, they may not create one for inventory.

God I love journalism. 😂

The market started in 2024 and now has 150+ vendors, which explains why our photo is someone dressed as Michael Myers standing in broad daylight eating a sundae like he finished his errands early.

And you don’t have to scramble there today.

After Sept. 20, they’re back Sept. 27, Oct. 11 and Oct. 25.

Save this for the person whose response to “farmers market?” is usually no, but whose response to “farmers market with taxidermy?” is already putting shoes on.

💀 Haunted Farmers Market
📍 S 54th St + S Tacoma Way, Tacoma
⏰ Sundays, 10 AM–4 PM
📅 Sept. 20 + 27, Oct. 11 + 25
🎟️ Free

Photo sourced from Haunted Farmers Market’s official Instagram.

I still have questions about the roadkill checkbox, but I’m afraid reading another application may result in me becoming a vendor.

— Larie

I have questions……about whoever decided the best way to deal with all the clothes we don’t wear anymore was to put everybody in the Crystal Ballroom at the same time and yell SWITCH.

Because that’s basically what’s happening in Portland this Sunday.

Bring a sturdy bag of clothes you’re done with, hand everything to volunteers, and they sort it into one enormous communal closet.

Then they give you your empty bag back.

And release you. 😂

You walk around and refill it with everybody else’s clothes.

It’s bag-for-bag and on the honor system, although the organizers specifically say taking “a little more” is fine if you find something you love.

This feels like something they may regret telling Portland.

You can bring multiple bags, shoes, jewelry and accessories. Nothing to contribute? They’ll sell you an empty reusable bag for $5.

XS–XL is upstairs in the Crystal Ballroom. 2XL+ gets its own swap downstairs in Lola’s Room.

One thing before you arrive feeling ambitious:

THERE ARE NO FITTING ROOMS.

Wear something you can try clothes over.

Or don’t.

I’m not your mother, but the Crystal Ballroom has seen enough. 😂

Bring clean, wearable stuff. No holes, smells, kids’ clothes or used underwear, socks or bras.

And here’s the part I really love: whatever is left goes to the North Portland Free Clothing Exchange, where people can get clothes for free without donating anything first.

So something you bought, loved, forgot about or have moved from chair to chair for eight months gets another life with somebody who sees it and goes:

OH MY GOD. THIS.

Honestly, Portland may have finally found a reasonable solution to all our closets.

Everybody rotate.

👗 Biggest Clothing Swap in the Northwest
📍 Crystal Ballroom — 1332 W Burnside
📅 Sun, Sept. 20 | Noon–3 PM
🎟️ $10 + fee; online starts around $11
👜 No clothes? Reusable bag: $5

Photo sourced from official event materials.

I’m going to explain to my closet that several of us will not be moving forward together.

— Larie

I have questions about whoever decided the best way to deal with all the clothes we don’t wear anymore was to put everybody in the Crystal Ballroom at the same time and yell SWITCH.

Because that’s basically what’s happening in Portland this Sunday.

Bring a sturdy bag of clothes you’re done with, hand everything to volunteers, and they sort it into one enormous communal closet.

Then they give you your empty bag back.

And release you. 😂

You walk around and refill it with everybody else’s clothes.

It’s bag-for-bag and on the honor system, although the organizers specifically say taking “a little more” is fine if you find something you love.

This feels like something they may regret telling Portland.

You can bring multiple bags, shoes, jewelry and accessories. Nothing to contribute? They’ll sell you an empty reusable bag for $5.

XS–XL is upstairs in the Crystal Ballroom. 2XL+ gets its own swap downstairs in Lola’s Room.

One thing before you arrive feeling ambitious:

THERE ARE NO FITTING ROOMS.

Wear something you can try clothes over.

Or don’t.

I’m not your mother, but the Crystal Ballroom has seen enough. 😂

Bring clean, wearable stuff. No holes, smells, kids’ clothes or used underwear, socks or bras.

And here’s the part I really love: whatever is left goes to the North Portland Free Clothing Exchange, where people can get clothes for free without donating anything first.

So something you bought, loved, forgot about or have moved from chair to chair for eight months gets another life with somebody who sees it and goes:

OH MY GOD. THIS.

Honestly, Portland may have finally found a reasonable solution to all our closets.

Everybody rotate.

👗 Biggest Clothing Swap in the Northwest
📍 Crystal Ballroom — 1332 W Burnside
📅 Sun, Sept. 20 | Noon–3 PM
🎟️ $10 + fee; online starts around $11
👜 No clothes? Reusable bag: $5

Photo sourced from official event materials.

I’m going to explain to my closet that several of us will not be moving forward together.

— Larie

I emailed Zack Reinhardt because Portland has apparently been holding a Carry Sh*t Olympics for FIVE YEARS and nobody told me.

I had questions. My tag line lol - What are people carrying? Do you need a cargo bike? Are there medics?

People have hauled kids, dogs and multiple car tires. There’s cargo-bike polo and a race where riders start empty, get identical cargo after lap one, then race three more laps loaded down.

There WAS going to be a Slingshot Biathlon, but Zack’s slingshots are broken.

So we’ve lost a sport. 😂

Then I looked into Zack, and it made perfect sense.

Zack grew up in small-town West Virginia riding everywhere. In Philly he delivered by bike, raced alley cats, built bikes for friends and volunteered at Bike Church. Now he’s in Portland and serves on the Community Cycling Center board.

So when he told me, “Any bike is a cargo bike with the right mindset,” it wasn’t just a funny Zack sentence.

He’s spent much of his life believing bikes can give people freedom and a place to belong.

In 2022, he decided Portland needed a smaller, looser, slightly underground cargo-bike race.

So he made one.

Five years later, Zack still organizes it in his spare time with volunteers and keeps it free.

I asked about liability.

“You can’t sue me because I have nothing :)”

God, I like this man.

Portland has gotten expensive. Fun has gotten expensive. And Zack keeps making the opposite: a place to show up, be ridiculous and belong without buying your way in.

Cities need people who give strangers a reason to become neighbors.

Zack made one.

His involves cargo bikes, car tires and, God willing, functioning slingshots.

WANT IN?
🚲 Fri 9/25 — Scavenger Hunt, 7 PM @ Abernathy School Gazebo
🚲 Fri — Mini-games, 7:30 PM @ Ladd Circle — any bike
🚲 Sun — Cargo Polo, 9 AM @ Alberta Park
🚲 Sun — Circuit Race, 4 PM @ Vera Katz Statue
💰 FREE | 📲 Carry Sh*t Olympics

Photos: Zach Hale, shared with permission from Zack Reinhardt.

Zack, five years ago you had a ridiculous idea and apparently never waited for anyone to tell you whether you were allowed to do it.

I really hope you never start asking.

Also, fix the slingshots.

— Larie

Okay Portland, I found the guy doing your grocery homework.
His name is Bryan Vance, and every Tuesday and Wednesday he spends about 12–14 hours figuring out what groceries cost around Portland.

Not scrolling a few sale pages.

Actually walking WinCo. Checking Safeway and Fred Meyer. Digging through store apps. Reading PDFs. Comparing prices and deals across more than 20 stores.

Then on Thursday he turns it into Stumptown Savings so everybody else can look at one list and figure out where their money goes the furthest that week.

And I really like this guy.

Bryan moved to Portland more than a decade ago for a job at OPB. He was living in Sellwood and mostly shopping at QFC because it was close.

Then he started comparing what he was paying with other stores and realized some of the exact same groceries were costing him about 20% more.

So he started tracking it.

Over the years he got more involved in Portland’s food world, spent time on the Montavilla Farmers Market board, and after getting laid off in 2025, this little price-tracking project became Stumptown Savings.

Now thousands of people use it.
And there isn’t some big company behind it.

It’s Bryan.

That’s the thing I wanted people to know.

He’s the one walking the aisles. He’s the one looking at the prices. He’s the one spending two days every week doing the annoying part so a bunch of people he doesn’t know can save a little money.

And right now, it still doesn’t pay him anywhere close to what those hours are worth.

But people use it, so he keeps doing it.
I think Portland should know who is behind stuff like this.
Not because Bryan needs some giant hero story written about him.

Because he built something genuinely useful for his neighbors, and he keeps showing up for it.

That’s cool as hell.

So Bryan, I hope you know people notice.

And Portland: swipe through. I made him give us the grocery rules he thinks will actually save you money.

Some of them are painfully simple.

Which probably means I have been doing groceries wrong for years. 😂

— Larie

Photo: Branden Andersen / Newsberg

This one I believe. It doesn’t worship him. It notices him. That’s the difference.

Lincoln City decided kites don’t need daylight.Which feels correct.I already knew about the giant squid, whales and all the other enormous things they put in the sky during the Fall Kite Festival.

Then I started asking questions.

And Stephanie Hull from Explore Lincoln City told me there is a purple whale shark kite named Huckleberry that may make an appearance this year.

Huckleberry.

The whale shark.

At that point I was done pretending this was normal. 😂

The Fall Kite Festival is Sept. 25–27, and this year it starts Friday night with a lighted Night Fly from 7–10 PM on the beach at Chinook Winds Casino Resort.

So basically:

giant illuminated sea creatures
flying over the Oregon Coast
in the dark.

Saturday + Sunday the daytime festival runs 10 AM–4 PM with huge show kites, featured fliers, kite-making, the Mega Fly and all the gloriously unnecessary things people have figured out how to launch into the sky.

The festival is temporarily at Chinook Winds Casino Resort this year while construction continues at D River.

There are also free shuttles, because apparently Lincoln City understands that once you promise people giant glowing squid, you need to help them get there.

Friday Night Fly shuttle: 6:30–9:30 PM
Saturday + Sunday: 9:30 AM–4:30 PM

And yes, the whole thing is free.

So if you go this year and see a grown woman running around the beach after a light-up squid like a feral four-year-old who has been given absolutely no bedtime, that will probably be me.

Come say hi.

— Larie

📍 Chinook Winds Casino Resort, Lincoln City
📅 Sept. 25–27
🌙 Night Fly: Friday, 7–10 PM
☀️ Festival: Saturday + Sunday, 10 AM–4 PM

Photo: Jeremy Burke, Courtesy of Explore Lincoln City

ThingsToDoOregon

I keep thinking about how fast one word can change the mood of a neighborhood.

Coyote.

Somebody sees one at the end of the block and suddenly the group chat is lit up. Bring the cat inside. Grab the dog. Is it sick? Why is it out in daylight? Why is it here?

So when I saw a new University of Washington study saying Seattle had about NINE TIMES the coyote density of the wild Washington areas researchers compared it with, I expected something alarming.

It wasn’t.

I emailed UW wildlife ecologist Laura Prugh because I wanted the number translated into normal-human language.

Her example stopped me:

In summer 2021, Seattle worked out to roughly 82 coyotes.

Take a wild area the same size in the Methow Valley?

About nine.

Which raises a pretty obvious question: why would a city full of cars, people, dogs and pavement be easier on a wild animal than the actual wild?

Food helps. Rabbits. Fruit. Berries. The accidental buffet we create just by living here.

And rural coyotes face something city coyotes often don’t: more predators and more people willing to kill them around livestock.

Basically, we built Seattle for ourselves and accidentally made a pretty decent coyote neighborhood too. 😂

Also, one thing every neighborhood thread should hear before somebody declares DEFCON 1:

Seeing a coyote during the day does NOT automatically mean something is wrong with it.

They can be active anytime.

So yes — keep cats inside, dogs leashed, don’t feed coyotes, secure food and garbage and give them space.

But the next time you see one standing under a streetlight, maybe you aren’t looking at an animal that wandered somewhere it doesn’t belong.

Maybe you’re looking at one of the best adapters on the continent, quietly figuring out the city we built around it.

And I have to admit, I’m rooting for them a little.

❤️ - Larie

Photo: Laura Prugh

Okay Portland, I was supposed to be fact-checking a fake post about Lake Oswego getting renamed “Lake Portland” and somehow ended up 13 years deep in a fight over who gets to use the actual lake. 😂

And the more I read, the more I kept thinking:

Wait… what?

Because for years, you could live in Lake Oswego, drive past the water every day, watch people boating all summer, and still not really have a way in unless your property came with lake rights or a deeded easement.

So this was never just “Lake Oswego vs. Portland.”
Some people who lived there were locked out too.

Then in 2012, the city blocked people from entering the lake through three public waterfront parks. Two guys sued.

One of them lived in Lake Oswego.
And that fight dragged on for 13 years.

Here’s where you lose me.

I totally understand: your dock is private. Your backyard is private. Your house is private.

But the water?
Come on.

If the water is public, telling people they can stand there and look at it but not get in is just… weird.

And apparently a lot of Oregonians felt the same way, because once public access finally opened at Lower Millennium Plaza in 2025, people showed up with kayaks, paddleboards, fishing poles and floaties.

After all those years of fighting about what would happen if “everyone” got in?

Mostly…
people paddled around.

The city counted thousands of entries that first summer and reported zero injuries or accidents involving people using the new public access point.

Thirteen years in court.
Then a bunch of people showed up with SUPs.
That part made me laugh.

But this part got me:

Imagine growing up ten minutes from a lake, loving the water, seeing it all the time, and knowing the answer was basically:
not for you.

Nope.

If you had lake rights growing up, didn’t have them, got kicked out, fought for access, or still think opening it was a terrible idea, I want your story.

Because I have a feeling this one is going to split the comments straight down the middle.

And yes, I already know which side I’m on. 😂

— Larie

Portland is holding a beauty contest for chickens next Saturday.There is also an interpretive dance competition.

I have been trying to find out how exactly one judges the beauty of a chicken because I have questions.

Are we looking at feathers? Posture? Personality? Does confidence count? Is there a swimsuit portion?

Nobody got back to me in time, which means I refuse to make up official chicken pageant rules for the internet.

But here is what is real:

Portland Weird Fest takes over Oaks Park on September 19 with more than 60 weird vendors, live performers, roaming characters, a Kids Rave, an interpretive dance competition and the return of the Chicken Beauty Contest.

And somewhere between the chicken in the tutu and the interpretive dancing, I realized this is exactly the sort of thing I never want Portland to lose.

Weird Portland United is a local nonprofit whose whole reason for existing is to support the artists, creators, performers and wonderfully strange people who keep making this city feel like itself.

Because “Keep Portland Weird” is funny until you realize somebody actually has to do the keeping.

Somebody has to give the weird idea a stage.

Somebody has to say yes when another person says, “Hear me out. Chicken beauty contest.”

Somebody has to make a city where being a little odd isn’t something you grow out of.

You get a booth.

So yes, I came for the chicken.

But I really love the people making sure Portland still has room for her.

📍 Portland Weird Fest — Oaks Park
📅 Saturday, September 19
⏰ 10:30 a.m.–5 p.m.
🐔 Chicken Beauty Contest
🕺 Interpretive dance competition
👧 Kids 12 and under are free with a ticket

Send this to whoever you would trust to judge a chicken fairly.

I already know several of you would accept bribes.

♥ — Larie