Kristen LaValley

This is a trend I will NOT be participating in. The only reason you should unfollow me is because I photoshopped my friend out of this photo because I don’t have any recent photos of me. Sorryyyy

But no I won’t be giving you fuel for unfollowing me today. Not on purpose, anyway. I COULD tell you all the DUMB reasons people have given me for unfollowing. I really love it when people send me long messages about that. It’s so nice and reminds me of Jesus and it doesn’t trigger my rejection sensitivity or compulsions to explain myself at allllll.

Also no though. I started writing out a list and then I realized I don’t actually want to think about the horrible and untrue things people have said and believed about me. Maybe another time when I’m already sad and want to make myself sadder?

But I’ll tell you some things that are TRUE about me and you can decide if you believe them or like them or care about them. Just don’t send me an exit email thanks.

* My entire personality has been shaped by When Harry Met Sally and the Office.

* I read a lot but somehow I am never reading the book that everyone else is reading and that’s not on purpose. I want to be in the book know but for some reason I never know what everyone is reading until after everyone has already read it!

* vanilla latte always unless I’m in St. Petersburg, Florida in April and then it’s the Bouquet Latte from Bandit Coffee.

* I believe God created us human on purpose and he likes us that way and it isn’t our spiritual purpose to overcome our humanity. That belief shapes all of who I am and what I believe and how I move in the world.

* and speaking of being human - I think we all need to lighten up a little bit. Most of the time, it’s never that serious.

* meeting Weird Al was one of the best moments of my life and I told him I’ve loved him my whole life and he was very sweet and warm and I think I lingered in our hug for too long and I’m not sorry.

* I don’t really like ice cream. My husband says this is new information to him. We’ve been together 20 years. I’ve been lactose intolerant for all of those years. Should I leave him?

One day I’ll sit down and write about our crash landing into this softer life in Kansas City, but for now - here are just a few glimpses of it. ♥️💛

PINCH ME, ACTUALLY.

I am so excited to tell you that I’ve signed a book deal with Simon & Schuster !!!!! for a project unlike anything I’ve ever written.

This one is for every single one of you who has shown up in this little corner of the internet, in DMs, at retreats. You’ve trusted me with your stories for years, and this next book is my way of trying to hold that trust well.

I can’t share the title or details yet (soon, I promise), but I can tell you it’s exactly what you have been asking me to write for YEARS.

AND - I cannot beliieeeveee I get to partner with my friend, Jonathan, who I somehow lured into my life a few years ago. I’m a lucky girl and so so grateful. I cannot wait to show you what we’re cooking up!

Details when come when the time is right, but in the meantime - thank you for being here for every version of this journey. 🥹

I was well into my thirties the first time someone called me “worldly.” She wasn’t judging me, of course. She assured me of that. It was just that - “I’m just so not that way, you know. It’s just that I only want Christ.” Mmmkkkkk. Spoken like a professional JUDGERRR.

Do you want to know the reason for my “worldliness?”

I didn’t want to be miserable anymore.

That’s it.

I decided that a life of misery and fear wasn’t the life I was called or compelled to live. So I did things that “worldly” people do, I guess. Therapy. Going to concerts. Learning relational skills. Healing my attachment issues (ongoing). Taking medication. No longer baptizing my wants, desires, dreams, and ambitions. (Sometimes I just want to do things for FUN. The horror!)

My crime was in having the audacity to believe that it wasn’t a spiritual failure to WANT to be ok.

And not that it was just “ok,” but that it was GOOD and healthy to want a life I didn’t resent. And to want to live in a body that I didn’t hate. And to want a mind that was cared for in a way that honored its differences and limitations. And to want friendships with people who, I don’t know, actually liked being around me??

I wasted so much of life being miserable because I thought that was the proper response to a holy god. It’s such a shame. I try not to have regrets, but I really wish I’d let it go a lot sooner. So maybe you can learn from my mistakes.

My friends — it’s ok to want to be ok.

It’s not a sin to want things to be better, easier, softer. Wanting is of course not a guarantee of GETTING, but -

It’s ok to want to be ok.

Sometimes allowing yourself to want it is the first step towards being ok. And I think “ok” is the bare minimum of what we can hope, believe, and ask for, you know?